h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I got one as well!!!!
It wont fit in the car,and we don't have ramps anyway,but i can get round the garden a treat.My daughter bought it for me,so i can enjoy the gardening,just like i used to!!

Sounds brilliant - but you all ought to watch out - you CAN get nicked on them - specially after a

Can't speak for Quack or Smurfles, S'hh, but there's no damned chance for me of getting nicked for drunk driving the things... the instructions on the painkillers and other drugs I'm on specifically tell me NOT to drink alcohol

What am I getting, Quack? I'm not sure, really. Its red, I think

I have to lurch round there on Tuesday,and a nice young man called Mike will show me how to drive it. (god help everyone in Hernia Bay as I missed out on ever doing more than achieving the stabilisers off my push bike... I can drive a car, no prob, but the intracacies of motor bikes passed me by....)

I *think* it'll be an on the pavment jobbie.....but it's definately a red one!

I also have a feeling I should be issued with a Government Health Warning.... for me!!!!

The place I'm hiring it out from does it for free... but they suggest a donation of a quid an hour or a fiver for a 6 hour day. I think it's marvellous, I do really.

It was No 1 son's idea really. He kept asking me where he could find me a wheel chair because he wanted to trundle me along the sea front (and if I'm not being overly suspicious, leave me there whilst the tide comes in!)

I was so touched that he really WAS willing to be seen by all his mates pushing his mum around in what is, after all an adult pushchair, when's all said and done, I began looking into places we could hire one out - hopefully, if this op. DOES come off right this should be a transitory stage.

One thing led to another and we found the "Shop Mobility" People


Son no 1 is now negotiating if he can hitch a lift with me!

The only problem i have with mine is turning in a limited space,but considering i can't drive,or even ride a bike(wth or without stabilisers)i don't do too bad with it.I wouldn't dare go on the road with it,but after all my waffling ,they're a god send!!
Oh,and i don't drink either,too much medication!!!

I think that's the worst bit of all - we're not supposed to drink alcohol...







still, I've always thought of that as a sort of guideline, rather than a rule.......

I've wondered sometimes if i should just throw the medication away,and stock up on lots of bottles,but i don't like alcohol
Irish cream is my favourite,and when i was younger(much,much,younger)gin was my drink.
Maybe i'll just stick to the medication!!!

I think it depends really on how disorientated/confused/physically *Bleugh* the medication makes you feel, myself.

I truely cannot take any anti inflammitories I've so far been give to try - they make me feel violently sick, disorientated and becasue I have IBS, cause a lot of.. well, digestive problems I'd sooner not draw a picture of.

I have also found they don't control the pain.

Again, morphine based drugs do much the same thing to me - PLUS they do not control the pain.

Likewise Opium ptaches - not only was I feeling physically sick and disorientated (AND the tummy was being anti social) I became so breathless and headachey (and frankly, frightened) I was advised to come off them, too. And the pain was still there.

So I'm still stuck with a very simple Co-dine and Paracetamol based drug that controls it when my pain is mild to moderate - which is probably 1 day in 10.... and the other 9 days the attitude from my GP seems to be "Well, if you're not prepared to put up with a few side effects, then I don't know what else I can prescribe you to control the pain"

So in effect, I have had an operation without anesthetic, and with no effective pain relief or aftercare for 3 or 4 weeks....

And the Gps get cross with ME for not being able to physically tolerate their pain killers!


ERM.....


What is wrong with this picture folks?


In the meantime, Smurfles, have a virtual love, and I'll consider the possibility of ignoring the instructions on the packets.

Drink isn't the only answer.... but at least you can be socialable, whilst you're trying to think of another question!

Good heavens! What a load of would-be drunkards on here.... can I join?

This computer is till not holding its connection for more than 5 minutes at a time, so it is entirely possible that I will type all this and it will then dip out on me and all will be lost

Triquack, I have thought of hypnotherapy, but I remember attending sessions some time ago (years rather than months) to try and encourage myself to lose weight. I could write a book on what happened, and I was hard pressed not to burst into giggles at some points, and at others I was at a complete loss as to what was expected of me.

One session involved me calling my little finger "Part", and the hypnotherapist lady kept asking "Part" questions, to which it had to waggle "yes" or "no". But the problem was, although I was very relaxed, they were the sort of questions I had come to try and find answers to, and I was finding myself more and more distressed at not being able to answer. Everything required a "yes" or a "no", and I found that the questions were not that straightforward.

Maybe I should try again with a different hypnotherapist.

Evadne - I like the sound of the grannymobile, perhaps I should come and give it a trial run for you..... just to make sure, you understand!!

Smurfles... lovely to see you again.

And Shhh2 ... what can I say? Where on earth have you been?

Anyway, connection has held up so far, so had better post this before all is lost.

Lots of to you all

Take care UG

I know what you mean about the hypnotherapy Granny - I too had some, years ago.... and like you, I kept wanting to burst into giggles, or, when something particually naive/silly or ambiguous was uttered, the immediate reaction was to say "You ARE joking, arn't you?" Naturally, of course, one doesn't... well.... not in the average cause of events....

(I didn't have my hypnotherapist call my little pinky "part" tho. How on EARTH did you keep a straight face!!!!????) And how many sessions did you have for heaven's sake!


Mind you, from what I understand, Hypnotherapy's come a long, long way since then - they have to have "real" qualifications, and have had to study NLP for starters, as well as all sorts of other "mind stuff" There are still charletons and well meaning ameteurs, I grant you, but they are becoming less and less.

I've got a colleague I could ask about what quallies you'd need to look for, if you want to reconsider it. I know I've just confirmed the same sort of experience as you had... but I still think it's worth a serious consider.

P.S. What do you mean... Can you join in?

It's YOUR journal entry... we've just filled it up a bit waiting for your return!

I think it's all down to how they explain it, a mate went to one to stop smoking and they told him that when he felt the urge all he had to do was pull his ear lobe (after he had the treatment). He had smoked for 30 odd years and he hasn't smoked since and never missed it. Sounds stupid but it worked, that's 20 years ago.

Maybe some of them are just too silly to do the job and don't explain the hidden messages in your body, (oh by the way - this was aqupuncture as well)

Good luck, Quack

how can anyone call their pinky "part" and not giggle!
If i was thinking about hypnotherapy it would be to stop smoking first,then i might tackle the other "things" in life that cause me problems.

Lovely to see you UG,nice to know you're still part of H2,and still have your sense of humour!


Evadne,i was once given some excellent pain killers,they were morphine based,but didn't make me "dopey",but i could only have them for a few days.Since then i have been on co-proxamol(which i think has been withdrawn now),and paracetomol.
Anti-inflammatory would be good for me,but i have an ulcer,so darent even think about taking them.
Must agree though,pain management is left very much up to myself...as long as i don't complain too much!!!
One gp in the practise was sending for tens machine for me,which never arrived,and another was sending me an appointment for the pain clinic....that never arrived either.
Don't we have a wonderful health service.

Bites lip and doesn't say No Smurf, we do not have a wonderful health service.

Actually, we DO have a decent health service... just as long as we are healthy enough to understand the labarynths of The System

Current policy is, that it is NOT up to the GP to follow up, it is up to the Patient to a) tell him/her the symptoms and if possible the cause of the complaint

b) give a detailed list of drugs taken, together with dosage, dates and the clinical side effects

c) it is up to the patient to direct the GP as to their treatment plan - in other words, WE, the sick, have to act as our own physicians so the healthy GPs have the time to try and juggle us around the funding given to their particular Health Trust.

(and god help em, a majority of them really ARE overworked and under immense amounts of stress - mainly due to patients being ill, I'd imagine! Because wen one feels rough, one usually gets a bit stroppy)

Basically, its a full time job being ill, and of course, most people are too tired and confused on their pain killers which don't actually work very well... and there's at least 6 of us on this thread alone, who, in our lucid moments KNOW that chronic pain addles the brain cells, when the pain killers or other medication we are given arn't good enough

notably anti depressants, which apparently make us "feel better" and stop us being emotional about the pain we are in

Don't get me started on how good the health service is... please!


Make up a diary system lads, phone your GPs, and Keep phoning them. Hassle, hassle and KEEP hasssling. We are all entitled to a good health service. And what IS there, is pretty good. We just have to insist and KEEP insisting we accept what we are entitled to when we're in need.

Shall we brave the Conversation Forum and try and get this a bit more public?

BTW... Sal, I could be wrong, but I think Co Proximol IS an anti inflamitory. Check out a site on the Google Search Engine called Parmaceuticals. But only if you're feeling very brave!

It scares the life out of me. Lots of really REALLY long words on it ,

Sorry - we were on hypnotherapy, weren't we?

Quack's mate's hypnotherapist (and accurpuncturist) sound the right sort of bod to go to - I know of that sort of treatment/suggestion is spot on - the tugging of the ear lobe does stimulate an accupressure point that lessons anxiety, btw. So it bears out the old saw of still wanting a fag, even after 20 years...Oh bugger. I hoped that particular "want" might stop eventually!

Me... I've still not cracked even during this lot... still on the patches yet, but I keep forgetting to change the damned things... or they fall off!

Sorry lads... I talk far too much......

tired tugging a lobe - Naff all happened - so I went out for a ciggie!

You're not supposed to pull the damned thing off, silly!

If its done properly, that point stimulted on the earlobe can be very relaxing/anxiety reducing - which is why Quack's mate didn't feel anxious about stopping the fags - he'd been given the means to control his anxiety. Like Quack also said, its all down to the way stuff is explained to the person concerned.

(sigh) when I was working I used to be able to hit every client's relaxation points first go......its a right bugger I can't seem to find my own, isn't it!

often the case though init


what was that..............


Physician heal thyself??

Sorry quack,i missed your posting,i was probably half asleep!!!!Many years ago my sister had a "stitch" in her ear,and she was supposed to rub it when she wanted a ciggy.I remember her rubbing the bloomin' thing,witha ciggy in her other hand.It must have been 25 years ago,and she's still trying to stop smoking.

Have you thought about acupuncture ev,for the pain in your back??When i first started with my neck problems i spent pounds on seeing osteopaths,even a faith healer once,but to no avail
Shhh,you'll end up with one ear lobe bigger than the other if you keep tugging!!!

Tried everything BUT accupuncture Sal... Osteopaths, Chiropractors, Shiatsu, cupping, different types of massage, hypnotherapy, hydrotherapy, positive thinking (DON'T! I know all the jokes... I made most of them up myself!)etc etc

was trying to earn enough money to buy a course of treatment... and the back died on me.

Am now on the Nash system, trying to elastoplast myself together (metaphorically speaking) enough in order to be able to go out and work in order to earn enough to pay for a course of Accupuncture for myself!

Because I think that that would certainly give pain relief. Having tried everything else..... And if I'm out of pain, I can adapt quite cheerfully to not being quite as mobile as I used to be.

On the rare good days, when I only hurt a bit I can walk without sticks, without aids and apart from a bit of a limp you'd be hard pushed to know I was arthritic. But only when I'm not in pain.

Catch 22, eh?

Need any help stitching that lug back on Shhh?

It'll be without anesthetic mate, so I'd have a fag ready, if I were you! Fags too, do blunt pain sometimes.

I'm just being mardy and deciding not to. I've no prob with anyone who does.

Believe me, "Part" and I didn't dare look at each other during that session for fear of the dreaded giggles!

One day I went to her, and she held her sessions in a large Scandinavian type conservatory at the back of the house, all glass and wood.

As I sat down there was a rumble of thunder, and my fear surfaced. She asked me about it and suggested we concentrated that session on my fear of thunderstorms, instead of weightloss. I agreed, and she put me under and then asked me to tell her the story of why I was so frightened.

Then I had to pretend I was making a video and silently "think" the story again. When I indicated that that was done, she told me to "rewind" the "video", but slowly, i.e. play the sequence backwards in my head.

I did my best, and then she told me to take the video out of the tape recorder and put it in a safe place (?). Not having a virtual cupboard about for the virtual tape, I tucked it up my virtual **** and awaited further instructions.

Then came the strange bit.... if it could get any stranger.... she told me to go back to that "little girl" who had been so frightened that she had hidden in the cupboard-under-the-stairs for 8 hours after the storm had finished, to the moment that she emerged from the cupboard.......... and to reach forward and hug her. She talked me through it very quietly, and I could actually imagine myself, hugging myself (if you see what I mean). Now that had a very profound effect on me........ didn't cure the fear of storms, but it's a moment I often return to when I am feeling anxious.

Nice to see you all, Smurfles, Triquack, Shhh, Evadne et al

Think I had better sign off whilst the going is good

Take care s all round, UG