h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One of two things has happened
(1) The magnetic strip on my swipecard is broken (how often does that happen?)
(2) The keyboard-monkeys at the hall of records have decided i'm not a student
Either way I won't be able to get into comp sci to do my coursework or in fact to hand it in.
Thats right ladies and gents I've failed my degree due to an elecronics fault or clerical error.
Guess how pissed of I am.

Oh my god! thats terrible! *shock* *horror* try to post it to them or phone them up andtry to dictate it to them!

Oh man, there is *nothing* more annoying than having something go wrong for you due to someone else's incompetence or failing

Is there literally nothing you can do? No chance to demonstrate that you, as a student, were unable to access comp sci and thus were prevented from doing your work?

I concer!

I tried to speak to my personal tutor or the wellfare team, but they are both in computer science. So I tried to go to the hall of records, but its in a locked building. Hypothetically if one managed to break into the locked building they might find the hall of records was locked more securely.

I sent an email to the wellfare team asking for an extension but they normally only grant them for medical or personal reasons. I bet they'll claim I damaged the card therfore its my fault and I won't get an extension. Or they'll reply to my email after the deadline has passed. Or something else.

Grrr. This makes me so angry.

BY BEUROCRATS!

too late to say 'bless'?

Probably not!

Just threaten to withdraw your tuition fees for the rest of the year then - or send them a bill demanding the return of same if they were all paid up front - essentially by failing you before the end of the year, they're still accepting payment for services that wont make a blind bit of difference whether they're rendered or not and in a possible grey breach of contract area

Nah I had a good whinge and got an extension.

Turns out the computer scientists don't like the keyboard monkeys over either

Oh, I remember it well, pain the the

Nobody likes keyboard monkeys, except perhaps other keyboard monkeys. But even that is a grey area.

Surely they must do though as they seems to be more and more of them every year, so they *must* find each other attractive.

Maybe Cambridge Uni should build a Keyboard Monkey research lab rather than the Primate one they were going to build. They've got the facilities, after all there's a Micros*ft lab near by.

What a strange concept, installing closed circuit cameras throughout the MS labs to study the behaviour of the monkeys.

"And here ladies and gentlemen we have a classic example of Monkious Keyboardicus performing his morning rituals of brown nosing and smegging up things that were working fine. If you were to care to spend some time watching you would note that while be adapt at breaking things, they are incompetant of fixing them. They are a sort of semi-symbiotic parasite, breaking and taking, but not giving anything back in return."

"Perhaps the most disturbing thing though is Keyboard Monkeys mating habits. Being asexual as they are, breeding tends to take place often. In fact, we've never studied such a prolific group of wa...."

Perhaps I'd better leave that there.

Surely the Animal Liberation Front would scupper any plans to build such a lab, as they have with all other animal based resaearch labs in Cambridge recently...

But if the only people who like keyboard monkeys are other keyboard monkeys then the animal liberation frount must consist mostly of...

Some things are suddenly begginning to make sense.

I heard the penny drop from clear the other side of Birmingham!

Aww, bless 'em. I'm sure it's not their fault.

Then whose is it?

Oh, I know, can we blame the accountants? I don't like them at the moment.

Oh, yes, feel free to blame them

What have the failed to do, pet? Expenses? Lost them *again*?