h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There's only so long you can be engaged. Engagements inevitably and inexorably lead to one thing. Marriage. So it should come as no surprise that L and I have finally set a date. October next year (2014).

We've found a venue - a big posh country house hotel in Cheshire (the bridal suite has a jacuzzi).

We'd even sorted our guest list of 50 people at the service, growing to 100 for the evening do. Grand. Close family and friends at the service, everyone we know for a party later.

And then the mothers get involved...

We'd decided we didn't want to be "those" people who banned all kids from their wedding (miserable barstewards), but couldn't find space for the 10-ish kids our respective cousins would be bringing at the service. So we put them on the "come in the evening list".

Cue two days of horse trading as L's mum got huffy about certain cousins not being invited because they're also L's godmother's nephew's milkman's penpal, and they invited L to their wedding in 1994 anyway and besides they only had two kids under ten so it'd only be four of my friends that needed to be cut.

So we cut four of our friends to keep the peace. And then my mother decided she was "very sad" that L's family would all be there but her two nephews, their two partners and the six kids they've had between them wouldn't be there and besides they invited us to a Christening and it's not their fault I didn't go to the church and just turned up at the party afterwards.

Which leaves us with no friends attending the main service, with the exception of Laura's three bridesmaids and my two ushers.

Unfortunately though, even after dropping our friends, there's no room for all the kids. Leaving us in the position where we've got all our cousins at the service, but no space for their kids. And short of a 13 year old wrangling his siblings and assorted other children into a minibus, they won't make it to the evening do either. Making us the sort of miserable barstewards that have an unintentional "no kids allowed" wedding.

Unless their parents, who we weren't originally inviting to the service to avoid this situation, don't actually attend the service at all and just come in the evening.

Still, if we keep our respective parents happy, they might help us pay for this thing. Which should be a bit of a cracking pissup.

woohoo

Bye bye to the single life though

We've been together 7 years, and own a house. My single life's so dead that it doesn't even smell anymore.

Remember and keep the paperwork for the wedding licence. I find wives love being reminded for years to come that you've kept the receipt for her.

congradulations on the news (and comiserations as regards the inevitable expense of such things)...

I've a cunning plan to eliminate both cost and complicated internal family disputes about attending our wedding/civil partnership (when we finally get round to it)... A total ban on any guests... basically
Goodluck with the organisation of it all

good luck with all the preparations, I can still remember how stressful it can be,

Yeah, we've got 16 months to go, and I'm already pissed off with it all.

Vegas

ours sort of organised itself. I was on exercise in Germany for the 3 weeks prior to my weddding, as was my dad (we even met up now and again, in fields, dressed like trees... it was... strange to be talking about my wedding under those conditions)

there was a fair bit of "if she comes, we're not coming" among family. He kept out of it and in the end I chucked a load of invitations their way and told them to pass them out among themselves and rsvp. No rsvp, no dinner. It worked out pretty well, but I didn't have a church do so that really restricted numbers at the actual wedding part.

Please tell me you crept up the aisle in full camouflage.

I wish I had...

Would've made the pictures worthwhile.

you'd never have seen us against the back-drop of the trees (as it is, I didn't have photos done because I hate having my photo taken)

That's a valid excuse? Let me write that down.

Can I make a musical suggestion? At some point during the wedding, play the Rains of Castermere. I think your guests will really enjoy it.

You're going to the bad fires

I suggested it to L this evening. She wasn't keen. Nor did she approve of me adding the words "firm tits and a tight fit" to the Groom's speech...

HI. I've managed to get Rains of Castermere into the wedding music. Awesome.