h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In my inbox this week was a forward from a friend. It was entitled "Word Play". I am posting some of the better ones here in the hopes that some of you will pick up and run with this.

"Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
Practice safe eating--always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
He had a photographic memory, but it never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end." And finally,
"Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses."

Having a French boss, I love the first one - but most are !

I'm trying to come up with some contributions, but the only phrase that will come to mind is a classic line from Garth Marenghi's Darkplace:

She was like a candle in the wind - unreliable.

Love then, Lady C. Will try and think of an addition.

Bagpuss, nice to hear from you! Good one, by the way.

I have some more:
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

"Time flies like an arrow."

You can't time flies. They go too quickly.

"A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat."