h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

a big and to everyone, and an extra one for anyone who knows the song

Ok, I am often accused of being a big screaming hippie...I mean, I listen to 60's music, I don't eat meat, I wear long colourful skirts and know all the songs in "Hair"...

I have no qualms with being a hippie, but find the links tenuous at best, mostly because I also listen to hard rock, swear like a sailor, wear a lot of black and will fight when provoked...

I suppose the reason I bring it up is because I think that Elvis makes a fair point (ok, for all the pedants out there, I KNOW that Nick Lowe wrote it, but it will always be an Elvis Costello song to me ). What, exactly, is so funny about peace, love and understanding??

It seems so easy to dismiss it as hippie drivel or naïve delusion, but I've always thought that it was a bit of a cop out to shrug it off so easily. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that it's likely we'll ever live a totally peaceful, harmonious existence with nature or each other...I think that there is something inherent in human nature that makes it impossible for everyone to like everyone else.

What I don't understand is why we feel the need to be so mean, so eager to provoke argument and incite hatred...why do we feel the need to judge people on the way that they look, the way that they dress, the company they keep? I don't assume that I am above doing the same on a subconscious level, but I would like to think that I know enough of the world to dismiss any premature presumptions I make about a person based on such things...

And I'm not saying that I've never fought with anyone...there are people I have met that I could not get along with, and there have been people I have had very heated arguments about...there is even one person in the world whom I believe I will always harbour ill will toward, as much as I know it is fruitless and too no good purpose.

But I suppose the difference relates to actions and consequences. My dad told me when I was younger that bad things happen to people all the time, and it's how we react to these things that determines the kind of people we are. I suppose this could be a major factor in why I am so eager to avoid conflict when I can, and even (on the other side of the spectrum), why I will always stand up to an argument when provoked. The part of me that wants everyone to get along is closely linked to the part that will not be antagonised or oppressed. I suppose it all comes down to how much I believe in the things that are close to me...

(so in relation to the person I harbour ill will toward, I suppose I will always feel strongly about him because of the way he was and the person he made me as a result, but I do still sincerely hope that he will make his peace with his past and move on to a happier, more productive path)

Anyway I've kind of stepped away from the point I was trying to make. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, there are some people in the world we are destined not to get along with...I have come to accept that I cannot be friends with everyone...that we differ so much as indivuals that some people will just never like me. I guess all I can do about it is accept that difference is what makes the world sucha fantastic varying place. It just saddens me that it also seems to be the root of so much negative energy that floats about these days...

Yeah I know what you mean Kristy, I've just never quite conciously thought it out or put it into words!

Anyway Mon. afternoon s & es hun, how was your weekend? And how's the day goin'?

Obviously it's something I've thought about often enough to feel the need to write it down...just not enough to word it properly

glad to see you...the weekend was pretty low key, which was just nice...today's been alright...the stupid computer refuses to bend to my will though and I am sorely tempt it to throw it out the window

Join the club, I'm the founding member. You don't know how hard this thing seems to be trying to break my will! Actually, I'm getting it cleaned out & upgrading early next month, so I'll only be on very sporadically.

Low key weekend here too, which is fine by me.

We get new ones here every year or so...but for some reason my computer always runs slower than everyone elses (possibly because I do more work than anyone else )

I think after the last few weeks I really needed a weekend where I could just sit back and zone out without having to worry too much about what other people wanted...sometimes I suppose we have to watch out for ourselves....

Right, "lookin' out for number one"

Otherwise known as self preservation!

Aye

I suppose as a general rule I'm fairly easily pleased...as long as everyone is ok than I'm pretty much ok...but there are nights when all I want to do is stare at a wall or something...which means that I'm not very entertaining...but the bonus is that most of my mates know that I am the kind of person who will find a nice dark corner to hide in occassionally and it doesn't mean I don't love them !

Same here...chances are, if they don't realize that, they're no longer real friends...just very infrequent acquaintances.

Yeah, I know what you mean...I suppose it's best seen with me and my girl...

She and I are very close friends, I see her every weekend...we talk all the time about all different sorts of stuff...we'll actually be moving in together in a couple of months with my brother...

Personality wise we are very different...she's very happy, outgoing, a real people person, you know? I'm more the quiet withdrawn type...

So when we're out on the weekends, we'll spend some time together, be it chatting, dancing, drinking or wandering...whatever there is to be done...but we know that there may be occasions where she will want to wander and I will want to stay where I am and we're both cool with that....that way she can wander about and I can hide in a corner and we know where to find each other when we want to !

Sounds great, I think we all need people like that.

Yeah, I think it's cool that we can be so different and not try to force the other ot be more like us...

...and to be honest I think it works better like this...if we were both like her all the pub regulars would probably be too scared to come out and if we were both like me we'd probably bore the regulars into staying home

Hi there Kristy,
I think I know what you mean, but it is very difficult to realise
I've been trying to live peacefully in my marriage for the last few years when there were changes, and I've bent so much I nearly lost my own personality, - so now I had to decide to fight- but it IS hard, and I haven't been very successful yet
I too, tend to hide in a corner, but this is often nearly impossible too, cause my family wouldn't let me.
It is when having these 'black' moments that you find out who is a friend and who's not, so you are lucky to have a mate who bears with you

Hi B'Elana ...Claudia, isn't it? Thought I'd spotted it on one of pheloxi's threads. No, it certainly isn't easy...here's wishing you the strength & patience or whatever you need to achieve significant success.

Yeah, I suppose the hardest part is knowing when to avoid conflict and when you have to get involved...I as a general rule will argue concepts and debate when a debate arises, but consider personal arguments different. For starters, I won't let anyone "stand over" me, I suppose like bullying...people who argue just to intimidate you or to stroke their own ego...in those cases I will always stand up because I refuse to bend to the will of another just to keep the peace...

(This doesn't mean that I will argue for the hell of it, it just means that I will not let people silence me because they are bigger/stronger or anything like that).

And I will argue on principal...if someone says something I believe to be wrong, or do not like, I will usually say so, for similar reasons to above...I have no qualms with associating with people who disagree with me, but I do have a problem with people who pretend to agree with you just to "get along"...I think it's a little dishonest...(but again that could just be me)

And I agree about the friends...I suppose because I've always been open about the kind of person I am (I don't pretend to be cool, or happy, or social ) most people just accept it off the bat...

Hi jazz, yes, I am 'a regular' on most of pheloxis' threads
I don't think it's dishonest to try to find a compromise, especially when there are kids involved, it's just that it took me so long to find out that it was always only me showing goodwill, and now I've started to remedy that
Will take some time and cost me lots of energy I'm sure

*lights a candle for B'Elana*

I have a friend who has recently gotten into a "serious" relationship...and his girl is lovely, but she does argue with him all the time...and he just sits back and let's her. I have told him that it makes me uncomfortable (especially when she's wrong) as it's not my place to argue on his behalf...

He has told me that he does not want to argue over little things...but the truth is, if you can't stand up for yourself on the little things people will take advantage of it, and you'll have a hell of a time when the big things come around...

We've never quarrelled about the big things, it's the permanent quarrell about the little things that makes life a hell
I thought it to be too stupid to go on quarrelling about them, but - it looks as if I have to.

Yeah, I come from a family that will let things go if it's not worth the hassle of the argument...I suppose the trick is trying to figure out how many of the fights are actually about the topic (ie the garbage, bread and milk, etc) and how many of them are about Who's In Charge??

Yes, kids are a complication. Best of luck, hopefully it won't take too much of either (time or effort).