Journal Entries


Still battling demons of the physical spiritual and mental variety.

Hopefully closer to the end.

Will let you know.

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Latest reply: Nov 17, 2005

Not "Goodbye", Just "See you later"

Hey kids.

Just a quick note to say I’ll be absent for a little while.

Things have gotten messy here in the real world and I can’t think well enough to be the friend that you all deserve.

I will return.

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Latest reply: Oct 3, 2005


It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!!

smiley - pirate

smiley - alesmiley - ale

smiley - 2cents (thar be no smiley - sadface )

So to all me lads and lasses - yo ho ho smiley - cheers!

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Latest reply: Sep 19, 2005

All work and no play makes tanzen miss hootoo...

I had the strangest dream the other night...

(It's going to sound morbid, but I believe it has a happy ending smiley - smiley)

*enter dream sequence*

...I was lying in my bed, dying. I know not was I was dying of, but dying nonetheless...

My first reaction was to grab my mobile and call The Boy (he w**ks nights so he's always up when I'm going to sleep). He sounded confused, as he often does when I call at ridiculous o'clock, but I can't remember what his reaction was when I informed him that I was shuffling off my mortal coil I love that phrase, mostly because I feel like the kind of person who would shuffle through my mortal coil and eventually fall off it and that I loved him.

In the dream he didn't have any time to respond, really. I felt like there was so much that I needed to say. The rest of it went something like...

"You're the most beautiful person in the world. Be well and be happy. Tell my family that I love them, and my girls...and my mates...and tell my hootoo brethren as well..."

*end dream sequence*

It wasn't very succint, to be honest. but I woke up feeling like there are some things that you shouldn't save until you're dying. Telling your nearest and dearest that you love them is right up there, in my opinion.

W**k's been a real smiley - bleep lately, so I haven't had a chance to get on. And now I suddenly find myself in the path of a computer that guided me to hootoo...smiley - magic

The point I was trying to make, of course, is that I love you smiley - biggrin. Sometimes things get smiley - weird, and I don't get to play as much as I used to, but I want you all to know that you mean a great deal to me. There's been smiley - laughs and smiley - cuddles (and smiley - ales) in here that have made me think and feel so much, and I really feel like I've become a better person for having known you all.

And I didn't want to leave it up to The Boy to get in here in the event of my sudden shuffling off smiley - winkeyesmiley - laugh

Hopefully I will be around soon. In the meantime, be well be happy and know that there is a tanzen here who loves you smiley - cuddlesmiley - smooch!!

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Latest reply: Aug 18, 2005

Fortune Favours The Bald

On March 12 2005, I participated in the Leukaemia Foundation’s “Shave for a Cure”.

I was always told when I was younger that “Fortune favours the bold”, “He who dares, wins”, and all of those adages. To be honest it was never something that appealed to me. I’ve never been a competitive person, much less a daring one. I am a creature of habit, always have been. The running joke amongst my friends is that, in an ever-changing world, I am the one constant. I am the only one amongst them who has lived in the same place, had the same job, and has basically the same routine that I had five years ago. Most of my family and friends will know what I’m doing at any given time. I’ve been a rut-dweller for most of my life and am unashamed in the admitting of it.

But every now and again you have to step outside of your comfort zone. I suppose the personal equivalent of throwing yourself in the deep end, to see if you can swim. Even rut-dwellers like myself have to shake it up every once in a while, and I was determined this year to try to push my boundaries, even if it was just slightly.

So this, coupled with my resolution to “become a better person”, lead to my registration in the Shave.

There had been second thoughts, anxiety, and everything else that comes with making a big decision. I had thought I would never cut my hair again, and to shave it all off was a little nerve-racking, to be honest. Luckily though, most of my nervous energy had burned off by the time it came to get my head shorn.

Well, until I saw the stage, that is.

I had been informed that their were places that were holding events on the day, and were shaving people’s heads for free. I thought “Well, I may as well go somewhere where they won’t think I’ve lost my mind when I ask them to shave it all off”. What I didn’t know was that they were actually doing it in Shopping Centres, on a stage where everyone could see.

But every now and again you have to step outside of your comfort zone, right? Fortune favours the bald!

So I made my way over to the line, and casually asked if this was the line to get your head shaved in. Initially the lady looked at me as though I may not have understood exactly what was involved. But after I assured her that I had registered, had been taking donations, and was prepared to get it all lopped off, she became a little more enthusiastic.

Not nearly as enthusiastic as Jennifer, the young lady who had been allocated as my Shaver, I must say. Jennifer squealed with delight at the thought of releasing me from my locks, and insisted everyone watching count down as she chopped the braids from my head (and this was the point at which embarrassment overrode fear). She also spent the duration of the shearing blurting out the occasional “this is so exciting!” and jumping about.

Bless her.

Before I knew it, it was all over, and I was to show the family my new monk ‘do.

There are a few things nobody warned me about, like the elements. The first time I felt the wind on my head, and the first time I had a shower were rather bizarre experiences. And I didn’t realise how cold my ears could get. But there’s always an upside…getting ready in the morning doesn’t take nearly so long, and I don’t have to worry about where my hair is when I’m cooking, or out at the pub. I know where my hair is. It’s in a bag in my lounge room.

And of course it’s all been for a very good cause.

It’s nearly two weeks later, and my hair’s already started to grow back. Now that I’ve gotten over the initial shock of being practically (well, for me anyway) bald, it’s time to start preparing for the “awkward growing out” years…

…But I would like to send a big “Thank You!” to everyone who has supported me through this. The reaction from everyone has on the whole been fantastic, and I want everyone to know that I appreciate it. It was something I was unsure about, from the time I registered through to the “bald transition”. It’s been quite an experience, one that I won’t soon forget…

PS I will keep interested parties posted when I get the photos smiley - winkeye

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Latest reply: Mar 29, 2005

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