h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had somebody say the strangest thing to me the other day. I was walking to our hostel cafeteria, see, when I ran into the lady who operates the grocery store. She gave me a beaming smile and said, 'Your hair has grown longer, hasn't it?'



I was utterly stumped. What was I to say in response to that? 'You must be imagining things; I just had it cut yesterday?' 'Yes, my hair has grown longer - just like everybody else's, who isn't dead'? Or maybe, 'Actually, I wear a wig'?

All I wound up doing was mumble a semi-coherent, 'Um... yeah.' Boy, did I feel stupid.

YOU felt stupid!? I'd have felt embarrassed for the one asking the question!

Perhaps you should have said, 'well, of course. Did you think I wear a toupee?'

It's like those people who haven't seen you for six months who ask, 'did you get a haircut?' I just say, 'no, I wind it back in every month or so.'

One of our "redneck" comics here in the states, Bill Engvall, has as his best known routine a series of things like this. His idea is that stupid people should have to wear signs that warn others that they're stupid... So, he'll give an example of exactly that kinda of question followed by a great comeback like the "wind it back in" line above and then say "Here's your sign".

Yeah! Questions like, 'are these the elevators that go up?'

He spoke of a traffic jam caused by a truck getting wedged in an underpass. The cop walked up and looked at the truck, and looked at the truck driver. 'Get your truck stuck?', he asked.

Without pausing the truck driver said, 'Nope. I was delivering this overpass and ran out of gas.'

That's the one!

Hello. how are you? Are you sure you are not bumping to roswell?

cheers,

ananta

The Roswell alien is gone, thank god! Alas, Oscar the Grouch is still around... [sigh]... well, you can't have everything.

It's good to see you around Hootoo again - I was just beginning to wonder what's become of you!