h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Please know that these postings aren't made up but based upon how you've come across to us, whether online or in person.

DAVID

You are Talented

You are Dedicated

You are Gentle and Kind

You have a great sense of humour

You are Patient

You are Intelligent and Thoughtful

You are Knowledgeable

You are Versatile and always willing to learn new skills

You are Endearing

You are considerate of other's feelings

You have a great singing voice

It really is jolly hard!

I have twiced called myself an idiot today (though quickly retracted) and also caught myself saying "I can't do this" twice. As one of those was while I was getting dressed and the other in a supermarket queue, I'm not sure exactly what "this" is!

Have you picked out a mantra yet? I'm thinking of doing that myself. And switch "I can't do this" to "I can do this."

David, have you printed out the latest David list posting yet? If not, do, in some nice and large font.

Then tape the list to some place you see every day - maybe the bathroom mirror?

Read it while brushing your teeth, or read it out loud while shaving or something - maybe in different voices and accents?

I have printed it out - thank you all.

I am trying to work out where to put it, though. I can't put it in the bathroom, as I share that with my housemates, who would find the presence of the list somewhat odd! Perhaps next to my PC, so it can be read during the logging on time.

That sounds perfect

I don't know if I can offer anything as helpful as the other posters here, but I did want to share that I know what you're talking about.
I've had that kind of low self-esteem for a long time; even if I felt good about a specific compliment, I would always feel that in the end, that person doesn't really know what they're talking about, because they don't _really_ know me.
For me, what changed that was Dan. Not saying that 'True Love is the answer', but it's related, because (I feel) love has a whole lot to do with trust. So what it was was just having someone that I trust, and since I trust him enough to tell him everything, I know he really knows me, so when he tells me to quit thinking I'm not good enough, or to quit calling myself stupid, or whatnot, I have to believe him. I can't think 'Ah, he doesn't really mean it' or 'Ah, he doesn't really know me', because I trust him, so I have to conclude that I _am_ good enough.
So maybe, if you have a friend like that, someone you trust enough to really share everything with, you can share this self esteem problem, and whenever you fall back into the 'I'm an idiot, I can't do this', that person can tell you to quit it.


Is this making sense?

That does make sense indeed, Lady P. I have had various people in life who have said "I wish I could make you see yourself the way I see you". Perhaps I ought to let them?

I have just done something that felt very unnatural - published a post to my blog essentially saying 'I AM a good performer, and here's why'. Feels like ego out of control, but I thought it was important to prove to myself that there are people who don't know me (as I tend to just assume that everyone who knows me is biased) who like what I do.

My housemates are enjoying the game of "let's spot when David is being negative about himself". Things are being taken too far, but they are being supportive in a highly entertaining manner. For example, when someone commented that the kitchen had a slightly fatty smell I admitted that I'd had sausages, which probably caused it. A query was raised about this, so I had to defend my statement as being negative about the fat content of sausages rather than about myself.

Ahh, this is a good list - and very true! Sorry I'm too late to add to it, but I suspect you're probably relieved about that!

Go for it bookmouse! David can always print it out again.

Ben

But he might not want to! Maybe he could just write it on the bottom of the list in pen, to save trees...


DAVID

You are Talented

You are Dedicated

You are Gentle and Kind

You have a great sense of humour

You are Patient

You are Intelligent and Thoughtful

You are Knowledgeable

You are Versatile and always willing to learn new skills

You are Endearing

You are considerate of other's feelings

You have a great singing voice

You are always willing to help others

A lot of us suffer from low self-esteem. I wonder how much of it develops from being trained to be modest and not brag about ourselves?

Be of good heart, David. I've always thought panic attacks are very unhelpfully named: they should be called 'stress attacks' or 'stress response attacks' because that is what they are.

I want to add to the list that you are brave and full of grace under pressure. In fact, you remind me of my father (and I have no higher compliment) who showed enormous grace in all circumstances, and you do that. It's an undervalued and underappreciated virtue.

So - here's an extended version of the list to print out:

DAVID

You are Talented

You are Dedicated

You are Gentle and Kind

You have a great sense of humour

You are Patient

You are Intelligent and Thoughtful

You are Knowledgeable

You are Versatile and always willing to learn new skills

You are Endearing

You are considerate of other's feelings

You have a great singing voice

You are always willing to help others

You are brave and full of grace under pressure

Hyp, you are probably right - we are told not to show off, and it can lead to doing quite the opposite. It makes you wonder how many gifted people have never expressed their gifts for fear of being seen as big-headed or branded an exhibitionist.

I am inevitably going to be stressing at least a bit at the moment, as I have 2 shows coming up this month. There's always the lingering fear that the next show will be the show where I crash and burn and people go "What was all the fuss about?" Both take me way out of previously established comfort zones, one in terms of acting and one in terms of dancing.

A for everyone for being wonderful people.

It's called the Jante Law. I was hoping it was only widely spread in the Scandinavian countries, where any kind of self praise is considered bragging and bad manners.

It is stressful stpping out of your comfort zone. Another thing to consider though is that you are still doing it. It's one of those trusisms that unless you are afraid you cannot show true courage. So I second Ben's addition to your list.

Hi David.
There are a few people (quite a few, but still it's in the lowish numbers) that really do interest me on here. Some of the people who have commented on your list and that does not surprise me.

I look forward to your comments and your insightfulness.

I went on a course for helping young people manage their money and I also recently read Prof Bob Cialdini's book "Influence".

One thing they had in common was that writing things down is very important. It makes a link that you cannot make otherwise in your head. It's why big corporations are forever asking people to write in 12 words or less why Blippo's Corn Doofers are the best corn doofers in the world.

David, have you come up with any mantra yet? I know you mentioned the Bible so I googled a bit, but didn't find anything I mysself would find uplifting.

Here are some affirmation suggestions though:
http://www.energy-healing-info.com/self-esteem-affirmations.html

And this quote is from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari:

'I am more than I appear to be. All the world's strength and power rests inside of me.'