h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yesterday, we had a special election in Ohio in our second district, which is basically eastern Cincinnati over to Portsmouth. It's an incredibly Republican district - they won it by 72% in 2004 - but the Democrat got within four points

Okay, just had to gush a bit.
For those who don't care about that, will now perform acrobatics.








That's jumping down onto the top of a clown, or a taco, maybe, and then bouncing off, hitting his peak, and sticking the landing. The judges all give him a ten, except for the West Virginia judge, because never called his daughter back.

That'd be right, they always say they'll call but they never do.

Well, you know, is something of a Casanova in the sheep world.

What? Casanova's don't know how to use a phone?

Casanovas have to be selective.
Sheep more so, because they have no fingers, and have to dial with their noses.

If you were a Kiwi, I could make quite a few rude jokes here.
Intelligent sheep where you come from.

There's a reason I only make fun of West Virginians with the sheep thing. I'm afraid to excite the passions of someone living in a country I make fun of. However, since West Virginians don't have computers, this is easier. (damn that's another one).
Actually, West Virginia is a nice place. I'm told that on much of the border with Ohio, WV is actually the more affluent area.

(I had to add that disclaimer)

is nothing short of brilliant. Don't let those eggheads fool you - it was my sheep with the theory of relativity and the Gettysburg Address.
But no, he can't work the phone very well yet.

He may need to get one of those new fangled phones with voice dialling. can talk, can he not?

Australians make fun of Kiwi's all the time. Such an easy target. I'm sure they make fun of us too, though don't usually hear about it. One of my friends is a Kiwi.

Sorry, got the colour wrong

Hell, I'm not paying for that. If he wants that, he can go get a job as a pillow or raincloud or something.

I like the Kiwi fruit.

Does being a pillow or a raincloud pay well in your part of the world then?

Abysmally. Pillow pays better than raincloud (that's pro bono really), but a pillow looks very dirty and smells so only motels in the worse corners of the world will use them.

Alas, I think shall have to keep those indentations on his nose around for a few more years.

Yeah, I guess it also would be a pain if your pillow suddenly decided it had to answer the call of nature at 3am.

Speaking of West Virginia, did you see that Don Knotts will be too ill to attend the ceremony for his star on the Morgantown 'Walk of Fame'.



So how many stars would that be then?

Mr. Limpit himself? No, didn't hear that he was ill. I thought he was dead, so he's doing much better than I thought.

Barney Fife?

Is it a West Virginia Walk of Fame or a Morgantown Walk of Fame? It would be pretty ridiculous for a small town to have a Walk of Fame, but I assume there are some people from West Virginia.

Like...

Umm.

Well, the only one that comes to mind is Senator Byrd, but that's just because I'm a politics

They've got 26,800-some people living there. That isn't *that* small.

But the odds of having more than Mr Knotts as celebrities for their walk of fame do seem pretty small

Here I was all excited about the political news in the first post and now I can't get the image of Don Knotts ill and trying to recover while being forced to use a pillow out of my head.

Sorry Hypatia.

Hyp wasn't really excited about the political news, so don't worry too much.
Or were you?
Because I thought it was one of those things that nobody but me cares about.