h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm approaching the age of 28, which to some will appear young and to others... if not old, more mature. Unquestionably an adult, in theory...

I think I always thought I'd be... wiser by now. I certainly know more now. I've had more experiences in life as happens when you walk across this mortal coil. But several times I'm not sure I'm taking steps forward, infact at times I'm sure I've taken steps back.

I think I perhaps understand more now what people mean when they say the more they learn the less they know. I always thought that was a cool phrase, but I'm not entirely sure I got it's meaning. But I really I feel in life like... well I have a lot more questions. The more I try to solve my problems in life, the more I lift another layer, and there bright shiny and new are some fresh questions, blinking, smiling at me in the sun.

But some things... I feel like I've unlearned them - or at least that's my perception. Sometimes I feel more stupid, I'm less confident in what I do know, and sometimes appear stupid for hesitating. Yet in the long run I usually find people are surprised by what I do know, as if they were thinking "well why didn't you just come out with that in the first place?"

I feel like I'm on a journey, which I desperately want to undertake, but have no motivation for. Like theres some vital piece of the jigsaw I can't find - or has been hidden from me, that would make everything clearer but I've forgotten it. I feel like I have fleeting glimpses, which are snatched away, and then suddenly everything seems murky again. I want clarity. I feel like I know, ultimately there are no answers to my questions, because the questions themselves are irrelevant. It is my purpose, and my motivations, that are most significant.

I worry more about my mistakes, even if they are mistakes I've always made. They perhaps worry me more because they persist. But I also feel like my very questioning nature is keeping me from truely enjoying my life - but I enjoy discovery, the questioning of the world. I think I need a bank of daily instructions that will keep me mentally challenged, and physically fit, whilst giving me time to... play essentially, whether that playing be playing a game, reading watching television, film... whatever...

But somewhere along the line I'm missing the bigger picture. Better get that canvas out and start drawing I guess...

ahhh well done that person! it took me till i was 32 to find all that out, and I still feel that!
I missed the odd office memo at times ant then worried that I'ed missed the office memo, but now I'm glad i've missed the odd memo cus what the hell we live in a great big unverse and time is linier soooo..................... have a nice cup of tea and f**k it all, just enjoy it, also when you feel a grump coming on.......... enjoy that too cus you've earned it


RJR (the one and only)