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Day, umm ... One

As I walk through the flora and fawna, I start out on my journey to rediscover the mythological hootoo...

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Latest reply: Dec 7, 2018 that's all folks!

Well I guess it's time to say my good byes. I think I've done everything I can in this place, and have come back so often that it's probably a bit of a joke - but I intend this to be the last time. In reality I've been gone for a while. I've become far too unreliable for this place, and I fear I've either annoyed or just generally frustrated people to the point they don't care any more, so it's as well that I think I should leave it there - as frankly I don't want to let anyone else down.

Before I did go though, I wanted to leave some last comments, in case anyone does pop by.

First of all I've gained a lot from this site, I've gained real friends from this place. I've become more knowledgeable, I've enjoyed writing stories, and poetry and well lots of things - things I don't think I would have had the opportunity to else where.

When I first came here this place (under the BBC as it was at the time) felt a little like entering a debating chamber in ancient Greece. Every word I posted had a reply, every person was excited to be here. It just simply oozed energy, and I was very excited by it all. It's addictive that stuff when it really gets in to your system. I felt like I was part of something really great.

I created groups. I played around with web pages using GuideML. I wrote lots. I debated lots. I became part of what felt like massive revolutions - the reality of which is debatable - but they felt huge at the time. I was an ACE, I was a Scout, I was an Under Guide Miner, I was a Post Reporter, Post Sub-Ed, I edited the Fiction section. For a time myself and HPB maintained the Fiction Central.

I created voice for my story as an audio book which then went in to being an Aviators project. I defended h2g2 to the hilt. I felt like I had to return for every revolution. But I ran out. Ran out of energy for hootoo. It became too much hard work to deal with people. The place changed, as I have changed. It's not the place it was. And that's not the reason I've left. Because change ultimately can be a good thing.

I suffer from anxiety, and have a bit of a guilt complex - and often see problems where there are none - so my perception that I've upset or annoyed people may or may not be accurate. I just know I now find it exhausting. The fact that I don't voice these concerns probably makes it worse, but not withstanding I can't promise h2g2 any more of my time. I can't commit anything to h2g2.

The last thing I contributed to h2g2 was just before I started teaching again - a very time consuming job. I'd committed to help here. And I was mortified when I realised I couldn't help any more. And have stayed quiet ever since.

So I guess it's time to say toodleloo to you all. But not before I thank a few people.

To V.I.P you were a wonderful ACE and very patient with a newbie - I wouldn't have done as much here without you!

To Shazz, B'el and all the post team - thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to contribute so much to the site. I learned so much about writing and editing from working with you guys. It truely was a privilege.

To Rich (skanky or otherwise) thank you for having so much patience with my audio book - I know we didn't finish our plans, but what we did finish I'm deeply proud of. And of course for everything else!

Awix - for your support in the post, and Doctor Who conversations!

To all the members of the Terranic Army - Reefgirl, Ralph the Wonder Llama, Dr Anthea, Friendlywithteeth, Jedi Jade, Shoal Prexy, Spook, AJ Rimmer... and so so many more - I salute you!

To all the gang at the Boardroom of Evil - many of whom are gone - you're also awesome - that Daedelus game was epic!

To the members of the Evil Army of H2G2 - it just wouldn't have been the same guys.

To Clive the Flying Ostrich - apart from being an all round great chap, is also the holder of the keys to Story Time - finish part 3 for us will you? smiley - winkeye

To HPB - yeah I know, didn't ever get back to that Fiction Central did I? smiley - tongueout

To tonsilsrevenge - for discovering my mad story and putting it in the agggagcac - My h2g2 would have been very different without you!

And to lots of other frankly awesome people - whom if I've forgotten you I truely apologise, but I'm rambling on here so...

Anyway goodbye you lot - and thanks for all the fish! smiley - fish

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Latest reply: Feb 28, 2012

*feet dangling in the air*

Woo, we've been picked up! We're moving! I wonder where we're going! smiley - biggrin

*looks up at his coat being held by a giant thumb and finger pairing...*

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Latest reply: Jun 21, 2011

Ok... this looks interesting...

Not been around for a while, due to several good reasons, and many more bad ones. But this looks interesting... what does everyone else think?

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Latest reply: Jan 21, 2011

A little wiser but more questions...

I'm approaching the age of 28, which to some will appear young and to others... if not old, more mature. Unquestionably an adult, in theory...

I think I always thought I'd be... wiser by now. I certainly know more now. I've had more experiences in life as happens when you walk across this mortal coil. But several times I'm not sure I'm taking steps forward, infact at times I'm sure I've taken steps back.

I think I perhaps understand more now what people mean when they say the more they learn the less they know. I always thought that was a cool phrase, but I'm not entirely sure I got it's meaning. But I really I feel in life like... well I have a lot more questions. The more I try to solve my problems in life, the more I lift another layer, and there bright shiny and new are some fresh questions, blinking, smiling at me in the sun.

But some things... I feel like I've unlearned them - or at least that's my perception. Sometimes I feel more stupid, I'm less confident in what I do know, and sometimes appear stupid for hesitating. Yet in the long run I usually find people are surprised by what I do know, as if they were thinking "well why didn't you just come out with that in the first place?"

I feel like I'm on a journey, which I desperately want to undertake, but have no motivation for. Like theres some vital piece of the jigsaw I can't find - or has been hidden from me, that would make everything clearer but I've forgotten it. I feel like I have fleeting glimpses, which are snatched away, and then suddenly everything seems murky again. I want clarity. I feel like I know, ultimately there are no answers to my questions, because the questions themselves are irrelevant. It is my purpose, and my motivations, that are most significant.

I worry more about my mistakes, even if they are mistakes I've always made. They perhaps worry me more because they persist. But I also feel like my very questioning nature is keeping me from truely enjoying my life - but I enjoy discovery, the questioning of the world. I think I need a bank of daily instructions that will keep me mentally challenged, and physically fit, whilst giving me time to... play essentially, whether that playing be playing a game, reading watching television, film... whatever...

But somewhere along the line I'm missing the bigger picture. Better get that canvas out and start drawing I guess...

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Latest reply: Jun 11, 2010

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Researcher U201249

Post Reporter
Former AViator
Former Underguide Volunteer
Work Edited by h2g2

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