h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hypatia has made me ponder my age. Well, I do that a lot anyway. Do you ever stop being surprised at how old you're getting?
Dame Elizabeth Murdoch is on the telly in the background. She's looking quite sharp for 100. Seems to have all her marbles.

Back to me. I seem to have hit the age where people say to me these things happen as you get older. I'm only 35, and don't feel any different than when I was 25. I'm certainly fitter. My arches have fallen though, which the podiatrist says happens as you get older.
There are other niggly little aches and pains that I get occasionally that apparently also happen as you get older.
I thought keeping physically fit would deter all this, but apparently if your body wants to fall apart it does so whether you like it or not.

I seem to be saying apparently a lot.

I have also hit the age where you loose your Grandparents. Nan (mum's mother) died late 2007, which was a terrible time and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I did plan to write about it here, and may have alluded to it, but never quite brought myself to write the full details. Maybe one day. My Dad's father died last year, not quite so painful as I didn't really know the man. I saw him maybe twice since I was 5.
Now Nanna (Dad's Mum) is dying. She has her good days and her bad ones, but it seems she is not long for this world. I'm not sure how I will react to this one. I don't know her all that well and haven't seen her in some years. (She lives across the Tasman in Tasmania) She was never as involved with us as my mum's mum was. Nan was almost like a second mum, whereas Nanna was an old lady we used to visit for Christmas. She never really showed much affection and always seemed to favour the cousins.
I didn't think I'd be too cut up when the time came, however surprised myself by getting a little teary when talking to Mum about it on the phone the other day.
Perhaps I don't know myself as well as I thought.

and remember "never grow up, grow out"

Having to deal with loss is one of the unpleasant sides of getting older. It involves not only the actual loss of a person. There are always side issues. And those are different for each person lost. So sometimes the mourning is slight and sometimes it is intense. That's just how it is. For example,when I lost F, I didn't just lose him. I lost a way of life. Everything changed forever.

Along this line, what distresses me is seeing how many obituaries there are in the paper each week of people near my age or younger. It sort of makes me feel like I'm already on borrowed time.

Asto your first point. You'll find as the years go by that inside your head you're always young. You said you still feel 25 inside. Yep. So do I. It's the outside that fails us. You look in the mirror and see a stranger.

My mother made a comment about how hard it is to outlive all of your friends and siblings. She said that there is no one left who remembers her when she was young. That has given her a sense of isolation. Not having anyone who shares your memories is difficult. I found that out when F died. So much of what I remember was personal, between the two of us. Those things were alive as long as he was. Now they exsist only in my head.

Ah yes. Those memories that are shared with people no longer alive are the tough ones.

Age is a bit of a state of mind I think. Try not to worry about it: it's inevitable, so make the most of it and adapt as much as possible. At least you're not alone Taralome It's happening to us all

Fb

I'm not worrying FB, just pondering. It's just interesting that it's happening differently than I thought it would.

Although, having read your post, Hyp, there's some things there I'm not really looking forward to. I don't read the obituaries, I don't think I'll take up the habit now.
And, out-living people doesn't sound fun either. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have anyone to share common memories with. I already find it odd when a lot of my younger friends don't know what I'm talking about.

I think there are many things to look forward to, as well. It's not all doom, gloom, and body bits failing.
*Retirement sounds very attractive.
*I'm constantly learning new things, which I love, I doubt that will change as I get older.
*Over time, I may cease to be able to do some of the things I do now. But, then I can learn new things and perhaps take up new hobbies.

Oh rats, I thought I'd thought of a whole heap of postitives. Now my mind has gone blank (no, that's not a 'getting older' joke) Help me out?

I think one of the things that I appreciate with increased age and life experience is a new perspective on what is important and what is absolutely *not* important Maybe that's also a symptom of a realisation that time is short.

And learning to be in the moment has taken me years (decades) to understand and achieve.

And trusting myself to take opportunities when they present themselves (and learning to identify them in the first place).

Sleeping well is a huge bonus of age

Letting myself do what I want to do and ignoring what other people might think I *ought* to be doing.

Not being thought of as too young to knit

There are heaps of benefits to age. I wouldn't be 20 again for quids... although I do still feel 25 like the rest of you

Fb

Those are great positives, Frenchbean, thanks! Really great. I'm already discovering that first point. I still have a little work to do on 'learning to be in the moment'. But I already ignore what other people think I 'ought' to be doing.

Although, i don't knit. But I do sew. I know a 21 year old girl who likes to knit. I don't have the patience. Maybe I'll take it up when I'm older.

I like the sleeping well, one. That I can look forward too, indeed!

Nope, me neither. I'd hate to be 20 again.

And another one... I no longer bother with people I don't like And I don't mind when people don't much like me

I allways read the obituaries, best part of the paper, allways good for a laugh

I read the obits because I need to know if any of my patrons have died. So we can see if they have any of our materials checked out. It's never a good thing to phone someone about overdue books only to be told they'fre dead. Much better to know that going in snd offer the appropriate condolences.

Learning to live in the present is so important. Well, all of Fb's points are good ones. But I think that one has helped me the most. Today is all we have. And realizing that I am responsible for my own happiness has helped, as well. Learning to accept things, appreciate what I have and find good in them rather than always wanting what's on the other side of the fence.

I also no longer bother with people I don't like and don't worry if people don't like me.
I made a conscious decision to do that when I was 21 or 22 and haven't looked back. It was one of the better decisions in my life.
That 21 year old girl I mentioned could do well to learn that. I think it's something that has to click in your brain though. People can tell you that until they're blue in the face, yet it won't happen until your brain clicks. (I hope that makes sense).

I never thought of that as a reason to read the obituaries. I'll have to mention it to our overdues department!
That's dedication, Hyp. Shows you really care for the people you serve.

reading about weddings in our local newspaper........... now that really makes be depressed.......... I liked one that had Paramedic's on hand through out the reciption


RJR

Taralome, you are in a proper city. I'm in a small town. We have to do things differently here. Sometimes tht's actually a good thing. We offer little bits and bobs of service that the bigger libraries don't. It sort of makes up for not having any money.

Just because we're in the big city, doesn't mean we shouldn't care about our public. I wish our head-honchos would understand that. They could do well to take a few lessons from you.