h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The setting: my female colleague and I are standing in fron of a jeweller's window, which displays a lovely white-gold-and-diamonds ring.

I say: "Ah, never mind, what's the point of looking, I can't afford it anyway."
She says, almost at the same time: "Ah, never mind, what's the point of looking, I've got nobody to buy it for me."

(Insert punchline here)

I think that says a lot about your different levels of independence. Good for you, Greta - you've got the right attitude!

It was funny the way both of us said it at the same time, so neither could really be taking her cue from the other...

I'm sure that kind of attitude is an asset if you mean to be independent, but it also alienates men. My ex was inbetween jobs and lived at home, and still he wanted to pay for everything. He was very offended if I picked up the bill for anything. And later, among the reasons for splitting up with me was "I can't afford to visit you every week in another town".

Silly to$$er Is it just Italian men who do this?

Option one, Stay away from jewellers windows?
Option 2, Instead of looking for something you do not have why not make the most if what you do have Like, friends you can relate to and go out with and enjoy their company Your healthNow thats a good thingto have.A future for the time will come, when you have lost all these, then you have real problems. I sometimes have a look around when Im feeling down, and I see people in a worse state than I am, then I count my blessings and make the most of what I have left.
It wont last for ever, I know, Ive BEEN THERE. Smudger.

Smudger, don't take it too seriously, I didn't actually crave the ring or anything (in fact, I don't wear jewellery, save for a gold chain my mum gave me), it was just an example of how different women have wildly different attitudes towards financial independence and buying stuff for themselves (as opposed to having a guy buy stuff for them). My friend belongs to the school of thought that dictates that jewellery must be a gift from a lover, whereas I always measure valuable things in terms of "can buy it/cannot buy it". For the record, this colleague is living on her own and supporting herself, which is very uncommon in Italy among women in our age group.

Mind you, my parents have just bought me a car. I said I didn't need it, but they insisted I'd kill myself using mine. They said they could afford it and bought it anyway. I'm not terribly proud, but my car *was* dangerous.

I look at pretty things all the time. It's good to look, but I wouldn't have any savings if I bought everything I see! I value human relations over everything. But I also value my independence a lot. When I split up with my live-in boyfriend I was glad he didn't support me and I had a steady income, so I could move out and live on my own. (He went back to his parents' temporarily). Had I been financially dependent on him, that would've made it a lot harder for both of us.

Bottom line, I wasn't complaining... just pointing out a social custom.

OK Hands Up! I misunderstood your reasoning, I feel a right pratt now Still Its good that I can laugh at myself, it proves Im human if nothing else<winkeye I thought you were depressed again, God knows we have all been thereat some time. Its good that you are independant, means you have control of your life. Im off to a reunion on Sat.8th of this month, to see Britannia and a mate I was on there with 32yrs ago! Thought I would get out & about while I still can.
Im glad that your feeling better about yourself now, looks like we both have things to look forward to Tell you about my trip when I get back, if you like
Smudger.

Yes please! I want all the details. If you make a journal entry about it, all your friends here will be able to read it.

good ol' Smudger

If you click on to my home page you will see two articles that Ive written already, just to pass some time. Have a read, if you think there ok then I might write the reunion up!
Smudger.

Hi Its me again I have just finished an article I wrote in response to a story I saw in "preview" about Russia. Give it a read along with the others, plus one in my "further conversations" called OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD and tell me what you reckonSmudger.

Sounds like a life...

We will accept the "getting Engaged" as your excuse, we will require written confirmation on the rest
havent got one for congrats? So CONGRATULATIONS
Smudger.

Think fiancee, (never imagined that, as an aging hippy I'd be using that word) has receipts for ring, (Tai gue la!-2000RMB), but all other aspects only exist in the ether and in emails.
But can't you see these worry lines?

beanfoto, you're engaged? To whom? Oh my God!

Spill, spill!

Meanwhile, congrats!

Tanx Greta,

To a lovely/lively/sexy/intelligent/reasonably good, (Well we get by), English speaking Chinese girl.
Y'know 1.5 metres, long black hair, brown eyes, mole on left ***.
We've been going out for about two months, and she started talking marriage/divorce, ( think it was that order), after a couple of weeks and smitten, I did the full bent knee bit with engagement ring purchase following on Valentine's day.
Now looking for a quicky Chinese divorce if that' possible.

I've got a mole on the other one Hope that's a lucky sign.
Very happy for you, really very happy.
Heard from a good friend today, he slept with an old friend and he was very happy. Sounds like everybody in the world is pairing off, but that's good. Maybe it'll happen to me some day...

It WILL Greta, look at me I was 40 when I met Diane, only regret was that we did not meet the first time I worked in Fife, 18 yrs ago.
So it does happen, dont rush itit was worth the wait for me,
Chin up, any more of this and I will quote my depressing poems at you, and you dont want that!
Smudger.

Smudger... I can't wait 'til I'm forty. I want children.

I can't do anything about it. I sometimes wish I had been braver, but it's too late for that now.

Never too late!read my response to your other string. I can remember sitting on a harbour wall in a strong wind, trying to make up my mind. I looked to the shore end of the wall and promised myself that I would have made my choice by the time I walked to that end, I walked slow but I knew my decision even before I got there. Then all I had to do was live with it, and never look back! That was ten years ago now and Ive never regretted it.
Smudger.

Good for you Smudger. That sounds like a good policy, to live life without regrets.