h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last Tuesday was my Birthday. I feel obliged to say so, probably isn't fair to pretend it didn't happen, some of you may have wanted to send your fondest regards etc... Much apprecaited and everything. I just like to avoid my birthday, it only ever causes arguments and friction.
After all, some of us should never have been born.

So... Neugen U215164 died the other day. I don't really know how to feel or what to do. I've never lost a virtual friend before, heck, I didn't even know she was ill. May she lead many happy lives, and may our paths meet again

And how am I? Aside from everything?
I don't know.
I'm scared of everything and afraid of nothing.
I can't help but feel I'm surplus to requirements. I don't quite fit anywhere. I don't know what I want anymore. Perhaps if I did, I'd know what to do or where to go to belong.
I guess what I feel is similar to being in love, in an odd kind of way. It's a feeling that never really leaves you, can make you feel ecstatic and depressed in the same moment. I've never known myself from one minute to the next, but I realise now that the general pattern is always the same. Now all I need to do is figure out how to break the pattern.

Take care, have happiness and fulfillment. Never settle for less.
EE

happy belated birthday hun

You don't sound so chirpy... Some of us indeed should never have been born, but if you fit into any category, it's not that one. Unless, of course everyone does...

I know what you mean about not fitting... I'm not going to say that there's somewhere you fit because I know you don't want to hear it because I don't know where you fit any more than I know where I do. I do know you're far from surplus, my dear, there are many more with less reason to be here than you.

I don't know what I want either, or where I belong, but I know it's going to have a hotline to wherever you find yourself, because I couldn't be doing with finding myself only to lose those important to me...

I can see exactly what you're saying... it's one of those ecstatic-but-depressed moments when you realise there's someone thinking the same things as you. Can we really know each other? I don't know myself, so how can anyone else know me? Is there really a Me to know?

The pattern builds itself around an intense loneliness, am I right? So near, but so far from anyone and anything else. You're surrounded by hustle and bustle and noise, but at the same time there's no-one and nothing else as far as you can see. You're drowning but there's nothing but air.

If you find out how to break it, give me a hand, would you?

You know where I am.

TK
Another

Thankyou Owly

...Just a calm moment of revelation there.

That was an overly complicated sentence Does anyone fit in at all? I just hate that I'll be somewhere and know I'm not old enough to talk with the adults and I'm not young enough to play with the kids. And there are many more analogies I can fit into that, I'm sure. I'm the bit of jigsaw that fell behind the sofa.

Reciprocated. I was toying with getting up and leaving here, but I realised I'd probably lose everything I had that kept me sane.

I'm still convinced that none of this is real. The other day I was laughing and almost started crying. I always thought that was just the product of a poet's mind, but I guess these things can come to pass. I think sometimes you can understand the currents of people, but only really in relation to what you think you know about yourself. Try asking someone who you think knows you well who or what they think you are. You could be suprised.

So right...

"God knows I want to break free..."

I don't think it was *overly* complicated. It just mirrored the complexity of the situation itself.
I'm not sure if anyone truly does fit in anywhere, but I DO know that I'll always be young enough to play with the kids.
I'm the extra bit of jigsaw that fell out of another one into the wrong packet on the production line.

It's up to you of course, but make sure you don't leave me behind... You're one of the few things keeping my chin above the waterlevel of sanity, so don't go running out on me

It wouldn't surprise me at all if this all turned out not to be real. It'd be one hell of a relief if it was proved. And I know about the laugh/cry thing... you start off laughing, and then you hit this momentary hysteria when you don't really know if you're laughing or crying.
It's all relative
I can't think of anyone who I think knows me well.

At least it's not just one person then. Small comfort, but hey.

"God knows... got to make it on my own..."



TK[1]

That sounds like something I'd say on spot in an english exam..
I happily would play with the kids, but in some situations you're forced to take an adult role, even if you're not fully accepted in that role.
You're just looking for your puzzle...

I'm not running anywhere. But sometimes I feel the need to hide.

Got the new Red Dwarf DVD through the post yesterday. Watched "Back to Reality". I can totally see that happening... I'm Dwane Dibbley?!?!?!
I'll never really be convinced of reality untill I'm convinced of mortality, I guess.
In that case, try someone who you think thinks they know you well...

There are more out there, I'd guess.

Lol, I should have done English then
Yeah, I know. But sometimes you just have to bring the 'adults' down to your level and play with them instead...
As are you.

I've got a great big jacket with room for one more. Don't go hiding without letting me know where you are. You know I'll give you space if you need it, but I need to know you're O.k at the same time.

I'm *already* Dwayne... God knows what I am out in 'Reality'.
Good point. Even if you do find another 'reality', how would you know if even that's real?

There's probably lots of us.



TK[1]

You'd have probably gotten an "A" for that truely inspired explaination..
Ah, but that would require self confidence, which I have very little of.

I promise if I go into hiding I'll let you know where I am...

The Cat?
Actually, I may as well already be the Cat
You wouldn't know that it's real at all, in fact you'd probably be more distrustful of the fact. There are times when I can honestly say I think this is real, but those moments are fleeting.

Lol, doesn't take much then!
I have none, and I can do it. It takes too much self confidence on the part of someone else- they have so much you can't realistically believe it, so you can play with them more easily.

You'd better.

Lol, yes! I could change from being a geeky, low down geeky geek to being popular, confident, attractive and, well, not me.
I probably would indeed. When bad things happen I believe it's real.



TK[1]

No, you just need to know how to keep your b*lls**t consistant. Which is pretty much what my GCSE english teacher said.
I have so little as to get embarrassed on everyone around me's behalf under such situations.

I will.

You don't want the first two and you already have the last. You're far better being you...
I have difficulty believing anything is real. Even the bad stuff.

I can do that. I make up my own little worlds of bulls**t ('bull' is not a naughty word, dearest) which are disturbingly consistent.
Aw, I'll have to give you tuition on seeking-and-destroying bigheaded people with no right to be.

You'd better!

Aw, if only I believed you...

The bad stuff just usually seems more plausible to me.

TK[1]

Bull could be a bad word...
You should have done english, you'd have a phd by now... *cough cough*
I would very much appreciate such tuition.

Well, you should.

Both the highs and the lows feel like unreality. The severe boredom is by far more plausible.

Don't tell any large bovines that.

Such tuition is mostly effective on a 'watch and observe' basis. Take me to a group of people who are all up themselves, and watch me slaughter them verbally. And take mental notes on how to do it for yourself

You're an angel *Stops starting that one again* but I've got no supporting evidence.

Now /that's/ true.

TK[1]

I have a habit of doing that. The problem being that they don't notice.

Find a mirror. That should be enough.

Too true..

Aw, you need to work on your presence. You can be ickle and cute and STILL have presence, before you say anything.

Nah, none of the mirrors round here agree with that. I guess you have nicer mirrors down there.

TK[1]

Oh, they know I'm there and they've listen to me talking. They just didn't realise I was being quite nasty to their faces. On account of stupidity, probably.

Same ole mirrors, m'dear.

Most probably

You haven't seen me in one...

TK[1]

Wouldn't that be painful?

I know it sounds bad, but you've got to pull yourself down for a short time so that you're only marginally above their level, at a point where they can actually recognise their inferiority.

I think it would be more painful if the mirror was in me...

TK[1]

I'm too nice to do that. Besides, sometimes you don't want to further irritate their inferiority complexes. That's half the reason they act why they do.

Sounds like an A&E job for sure...