h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Finally goat ra rent fae November soartit oot wirra Coonsil oan Monday, so whit pops thru ma door this moarnin'? A letter fae ra Coonsil sayin' ah hudnae paid ma Coonsil Tax last month. Noo call me me glaikit if ye waant, but ah hudda wee bitta paper rit sayed ah hid paid ooer a hunner quid tae some c**t three weeks ago. Noo ah canny remember ever gettin' a receipt in a pub, so ah reckont ris wis ma proof rit ah hid mistakenly paid ma Coonsil Tax.

Anyway, ah phonet rame up in wis tellt tae bring aw ma wee bitsa paper fae ma drunken mistakes doon oan Monday tae soartit oot. "Aw s**t", ah thoat,"Noo thirr gonny notice rit ah didnae pay aw a last years's Coonsil tax".