h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok the jokes over - whichever one of you pranksters is slipping into my house and moving items without my permission must cease and desist forthwith.

It all started a few weeks ago when the little bit out of the bottom of the kids phone went missing, it wasn't where I'd left it, and no-one had seen it. It must have been missing for about 3 weeks when it just turned up *poof* there it was just where I'd left it, searched for it, given it up for lost - there it was.

This was followed by at least 4 other similar incidents involving, nail clippers, latch for the new gate, hammer, sim card and most frustratingly the kids birth certificate (which I needed to present to the school on Friday with her application for an exam - but the thing didn't reappear until this morning).

Now the really frustrating thing about this is that these items are turning up in places I've already looked - several times - and they were not there. Its also pretty annoying that I was the last person to have them before they went missing.

So, a joke's a joke and oh how we all - but stop it, stop it now.

P.S. If you have the tin opener - we need it - bring it back

You don't think maybe you're just going senile?

That sounds like a whole lot of no fun!

Aha TB, is that an attempt to point the finger of suspicion elsewhere

Could you be the guilty party

Have you seen my tin opener

No, no and err...let me think..oh yes. No.

Do you think it's gnomes ?

I'm gonna stick with the senility idea

more likely - I'm not old enough to be senile - don't you dare say otherwise*shakesfist*

Its all very strangebut I'm sure someone here is responsible, someone with the power, imagination and free time required to cast spells

Would the usual suspects please form and orderly queue

The sooner you accept the painful truth, that you're going senile, the sooner we can move on from this whole sorry incident*

Senility has a name - TB - I think thou doth protest too much therefore are positioning yourself right at the top of the suspect list.

Conspiring against me, making me look foolish in front of friends, family and the childs school - you are wicked and my tin opener does not deserve whatever fate you have in store for it.

I am not senile - just look at me in my puple skirt and red blouse my pink hat is complete proof if any were needed that I am certainly not senile, I even dressed myself this morning.

Ah, I knew that "eccentric old biddy" look I've been perfecting would catch on one day!

Its all the rage where I work - I was hoping I could keep my senile wardrobe for another few years without wearing it, but it seems I've been bumped up the queue