This is a Journal entry by Saturnine

Hidden in the mists of time

Post 141

Luthiena

Well I haven't deleted it and yes it does have a 'sent' number on it.


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 142

SEF

Do you mean a phone message or a computer one? In either case there are some checks which can be done but it does matter which in order to point you in the right direction.


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 143

Researcher 178815

Well, there should also be a Message Centre Number along with it. Scroll the details the phone gives you, and you should get it.

O2's is +447802000??? (Missed out last three digits just in case) - I've Googled for the others, but I can't find them. smiley - erm But when you find the right Operator which matches the Centre number your message there has, then make a complaint to the relevant Operator. It's only one message (isn't it?) so make a point of saying it's as part of an ongoing harrassment, and good luck. smiley - smiley


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 144

SEF

The police view of this:
http://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/crime-reduction/mal-calls5.htm

A charity which might be relevant, depending on age and nature:
http://www.bullying.co.uk/children/mobile_phone.htm


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 145

Researcher 178815

*bump*

The pre-mod wait makes some people think there's no replies sometimes.

Useful information on that Police site, by the way. Definitely read it, Ena. smiley - smiley


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 146

Saturnine

Ena. Please do something. I told you that it was worse than you thought, but you didn't believe me. Things that start out this way end in people dying.

Police station. Tell your parents. Tell a friend.

It's not your fault. Just do it.


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 147

badger party tony party green party

smiley - yikes

Be wary but lets not jump off at the deep end, eh?

Yes Ena, its important to let other people who will handle the situation in a sensitive and measured way know exactly what is happening.

Scaring the poor girl is perhaps not the best idea Sat.

one love smiley - rainbow


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 148

hellboundforjoy

"Scaring the poor girl is perhaps not the best idea"

I dunno, if it gets her to do something about this situation...Nothing else seems to be getting through to you, Ena, about the seriousness of this situation. It is not nothing. (not yelling, not yelling, just trying to make a point.)


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 149

badger party tony party green party

Hey Im all for a little sensible crime prevention,smiley - ok but sensationalising the issue can lead to some people living in perpetual fear of inflated dangers.

smiley - rainbow


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 150

hellboundforjoy

I suppose you're right, sensationalism is not helpful...


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 151

soeasilyamused, or sea

But neither is discounting things as harmless when they have a distinct potential not to be...

If the guy is harmless, the involvement of People In Charge (police, teachers, adults, what have you) will definitely scare him into leaving you alone. If he's not, they'll be able to help you put a stop to it. No one is going to fault you for being scared. It's your right as a woman. Last I heard, 1 in 4 women is raped in their lifetime. Most murder victims know their attackers.

Here's the bottom line: the least that will happen, if you involve People In Charge, is that he'll get the message and leave you alone.

I don't want to 'sensationalize', believe me. This is what I know from being in a very similar situation in high school and what I've seen as an intern at a Police Department.

Go with your gut. If you feel something is wrong, it probably is. smiley - hug


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 152

azahar

<>

I agree. I personally don't think this guy is harmless and have said so earlier. What he has been doing so far is illegal. Also, it is hardly 'normal' behaviour, is it? This story has set of my 'danger radar alarm' and this is seldom wrong.

Other people need to be told about this person immediately and given his personal details. Then *other people* should approach him and let him know of the changed situation. Luthiena should not do this on her own.

Blicky, sometimes it is sensible to be afraid.

az


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 153

badger party tony party green party

Um no, its sensible to be sensible.

I do see what you all mean and i agree that some action is necessary, but living in fear makes you a perpetual victim and i dont think that is what you really want here.

Ena many apologies from myself and Im sure all the others if we sound condescending discussing your present problem like this.smiley - grovel
We are talking about a specific situation which we dont know a lot about you are the only one who has a clear idea of what is going on, but we do have some idea of this sort of thing and wider issues. So i hope you take all of this in the spirit it is intended even if you choose not to follow any of the advicesmiley - ok

Ive got my self in trouble in RL arguing with the early years staff here for questioning their stranger danger programme, I say its counter productive as it encourages children to fear the unknown and unquestioningly adhere to what they know. This it can be said actually puts them in more danger of abuse.

Crime reporting statistics are very unreliable, but of the crime that is reported in this area most of it is actulluy perpetrated from within the family circle. Women are more likely to be assaulted in thier homes and killed by their husbands, boyfriends or ex's than by any stranger.

The most powerful weapon in a womans defensive armoury is her self confidence. Knowing what respect she deserves, how to go about making sure others know that too and observe her rights is the primary thrust of the womens safety and self defence course that I book for young women who come to clubs that I run.

Im sure any of you would agree that teaching a child how to cross a road properly is better than telling them to be scared of cars or how to treat animals properley is better than saying dogs and cats are dangerous.

People do do terrible things to each other but focusing on the danger actually protects no one at all. Im not telling Ena or anyone to bury their head in the sand, but I really believe that thinking of ways for people to deal with, lessen and avoid danger is much better way of teaching people to cope with it and still have a happy life that is not clouded by constant worry.

one love smiley - rainbow


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 154

azahar

<>

I didn't suggest that Luthiena or anyone 'live in fear'. I was talking about this particular situation, which I find frightening. No, we don't have all the information but the fact that the perpetrator is already breaking the law is enough to warrant prompt and further action.

<>

Well, absolutely. My advice to Luthiena was not to cower in fear of all men - it was to tell other people about this person, other people in RL who could help her deal with this.

az


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 155

BouncyBitInTheMiddle

Teenage boys getting obsessive and keeping up their attempts after being spurned is not uncommon. Normally these are the shy ones though, and if this guy keeps hugging you then its going beyond that.

It will be the best thing for him as well as for you if he is firmly shown where the boundaries are.


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 156

soeasilyamused, or sea

Definitely. He needs to learn the limits of other people's comfort zones. Some people just don't understand the concept of "personal space", and it's better that he learns it now rather than later.


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 157

Luthiena

smiley - hug You guys are all lovely for caring and trying to help.

I have stored a couple of the texts I have been sent and am going to O2 tomorrow; I am also going to see my tutor at college this afternoon.


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 158

Ferrettbadger. The Renegade Master

I think it is for thew best Ena, good good.


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 159

HonestIago

smiley - applause Good for you Ena. Probably (hopefully) it'll all sort itself out really quickly and painlessly, fingers crossed


Hidden in the mists of time

Post 160

Luthiena

Couldn't go and see O2 or tutor because I am really sick...smiley - ill have been throwing up all over the place....nice!


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