h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A reward has been offered for information about Philosophers whereabouts. The reward is 100000000000 with five more zeros. If you have any information discuss this entry.

He Waaaaassss sitting next to me but that was a couple of days ago...
Moo
SuperMoo The Cow that is SUPER (Grand Duke of The Cows)

You've seen me. I must stop you from testifying!

[Imitating Sargent Schultz From Hogan's Heros]
'I Know Nothing, Nothing'
SuperMoo The Cow that is SUPER (Grand Duke of The Cows)

*Loud bang like so: BANG. The sound of a pun being fired at a stationary cow*

...It looks like certain death for SuperMoo, But high atop Mt. Godly Mountain Where The Gods Live, the cow god, Cow Dude Person God Guy Dude, who is currenly in a fierce legal struggle with the god of optomtrists, Ikensea, throws down a giant flaming branding tool (the kind the godly pros use) that crashes into the roof of a nearby house imediatly incenerating it...Cow Dude Person God Guy Dude is heard loudly muddering about killing and optomitrists with godly powers, Suddenly SuperMoo is hit by the pun falls over, twiches a few times and stops moving...

Is This the end of our hero...probably not...Tune Into The Next Reply To Find Out More...(fancy way of saying 'to be continued' just with more suspense)

Last time on 'Philospher bounty:The Thread',
Bang...Hit...[twich, twich]...[silence]...

All of a sudden SuperMoo stands back up and udders 'Moo' [Translation: Oh! Silly me I'm Super and therefore can not be punificated so easily...also I forgot the force equals mass times acceleration, exept when you are talking about the force of friction when force equals the coefficient of friction, represented by the greek letter mu, times the normal force, which is equal to negative one times the mass times gravity when gravity is negative nine point eight meters per second squared.]

Yet again...Suddenly SuperMoo remebers something in an udderly cowtastic instant and adds: 'Moo' [Translation: Oh yea, the normal force of a mass that is on an inclined plain is equal to negative one times the mass times the force of gravity, negative nine point eight meters per second squared, times the sine of the angle of incline, represented by the greek letter theta.]

SuperMoo continues thinking on this topic while waiting for a response to the interesting episode that could have been said in a few sentances.

This action is denoted by a thought bubble that is about zero point five meters away from SuperMoo's head and makes a forty-five degree angle with the horizon and is directed to SuperMoo's left. In this bubble are located the word 'Physics' which is repeated three times. Each 'Physics' is zero point five centimeters away from one another and are offset as follows:

Word one is at the top of the bubble relativly in the middle of the line, word two is zero point five centimeters to the left and is angled at a nineteen degree angle with the horizontal so that the end of the work higher than the begining, word three is one centimeter to the right of word two just it is on the next line, word three is angled at a negative fifteen degree angle with the horizontal so that the begining of the word is higher than the end.

Wha?

Oh, so the pun didn't pun-cture you. I summon the awesome Claw Sword of Darkness ($9.99 per second to rent, geez)

Prepare to face stabbity death!

Just then...

Just Then SuperMoo says 'MOO!' and creates a Sonic Moo Attack (strength: 89.2345253425243) aimed at EvilClaw but a scream is herd [ha ha ha hee hee whoohoo that was a good one...herd] and distracts SuperMoo causing the Sonic Moo Attack to Miss Horably and hit the dog house in the back yard of the house recently struck by the giant flaming branding tool (the one the godly pros use) and then...

Oooh Oooh Idea Idea...oops sorry false alarm...back to the heart renchingly funny story...

Then SuperMoo decided to discuss the mind boggling physics of: The Parabolic Tragectory of Peices of The Dog House That Just Got Distroyed...

To this SuperMoo says: 'Moo' [Translation:The parabolic tragectory is really not parabolic unless there is no air friction. If the air friction is ignored then the vertical force that the splinters are feeling is equal to the mass of Earth, represented by the letter 'm', time the universal gravitational constant, represented by the capital letter 'G', divided by the square of the distance between the center of the Earth and the piece of wood, using this equation we find that the resulting number is approximatly negative nine point eight meters per second squared, which is represented by the letter 'g']

Oooh Idea thing revisited:
Hows abouts wes goes ands calls thiss threads 'Punic Wars II:A Re-enactment of The Sequal To The Re-enactment of the Punic Wars' oooh ooh or maybe just 'Punic Wars:The Re-enactment'

Let's vote...and the ballots are in:
SuperMoo:'Punic Wars:The Re-enactment'
SuperMoo's evil twin named Bob The Pot Belly Pig:I voted [BLEEP] times Bwaahahahahahahaha!
NOTE:SuperMoo's evil twin named Bob The Pot Belly Pig's vote has been thrown out because of due to inapropriate language in the naming of numbers.
SuperMoo's evil twin's Stuntdubble:'Punic Wars:The Re-enactment'
The 'Punic Wars:The Re-enactment' personage have it weeeee

New Name Bwaaaahaaahaaahaaahhaaaaa
WEEEE![pronounced in german so it sounds like veeeee!]

Have you seen the cow-lander?

What the 'THE NUMBER WHICH SHALL NOT BE SPOKEN, UDDERED, OR WRITEN FOR REASONS CURRENTLY KNOWN ONLY TO MY OTHER PERSONALITY WHICH REFUSES TO SHARE WITH ME' is a cow-lander and what kind of a person would randomly replace the number [BLEEP] with 'THE NUMBER WHICH SHALL NOT BE SPOKEN, UDDERED, OR WRITEN FOR REASONS CURRENTLY KNOWN ONLY TO MY OTHER PERSONALITY WHICH REFUSES TO SHARE WITH ME' in a vain atempt to goes where no gramatically inept person woulda thank to goes [That placing being a gramatical test of finalnacity or some other gramatical evaluations of propernacity]
SuperMoo The Cow that is SUPER (Grand Duke of The Cows)

NOTE OF NOTABILITATIONARYISMICALITY GENERALIZATIONALLY DIRECTED TO THOSE WHO ARE EAVESDROPING[Known to the state of my back yard to be mizpeld frekwentlee]:Go to Cow House List of Improvized Ideologies located at this site to find more of the lowdown on 'THE NUMBER WHICH SHALL NOT BE SPOKEN, UDDERED, OR WRITEN FOR REASONS CURRENTLY KNOWN ONLY TO MY OTHER PERSONALITY WHICH REFUSES TO SHARE WITH ME'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/A1922924

I use the CHAIR on the COW. Chair breaks...

I Pull Disintergrating pistol, with a grarrentee of instant disintergration, add 3.256 ml of water and colors change. Then pull trigger. Pistol Disintergrates. Much cursing at literality of ads follows.

I have a disintegration proof vest. You can't disentigrate me!

SuperMoo drags a humongojumbogargantuanreally realy reeeeaaaalllllyy large anti-disintergration proof vest artillery gun...one o' da BIG guns...realy reeeeeaaaaalllllyy big guns...And fires it...The God of The Tree Huggers, mad at the major waste of wood in the distruction of the doghouse and regular house, teams up with The God of The Utalitarianismisticly Minded People[what an inconcievable idea], who find that the destruction of the above fore mentioned structures' distruction was a major waste of wood which could have been used to make paper, interveen and then something else happened but this action was censored out... ...[skribble skaribbblle scribble]... ... ...After the censored out part is completed the scene has changed from a vivid [number after two]-D world to a pitifully drawn in God Brand Crayons(MG[MG stands for Marked by Gods and is the divine version of a trademark]). Suddenly SuperMoo has pants on and then a crudely drawn stick figure runs over and pantses SuperMoo. After which the pants disapear and EvilClaw Suddenly has oversized and poorly drawn sandels on. The wierd stick figure runs up to him and tells him his shoes are untied...he looks down and StickFigureDudeGuy flicks his nose, starts laughing so hard that he starts to snort, then runs off. Much snorting/laughing is herd(another cow joke) comming from The God of The Lack of Drawing Skills And The Excess of Stale And Xtreamly Old Jokes...
How Will Our Heros Get Out Of This Quary...er...Quantity...er...Quotient...er...Kwa...kwa...kwa...problem... ... ... ... and will the author ever stop using...these...accursed...e...l...i...p...s...i...s...e...s...e...s...or learn to spel goowdr.

EvilClaw says hold it.
I've let alot of things pass: multiple gods, nudity, the idea that god can't draw good, misspelling, bad grammer, ect.

But, ME in SANDALS. You're insane...

And as the muse of benovolent insanity I vouch for you

What did you expect from a person who falsely accuses his fictional other personality of with holding information regardicizing the number that comes after 2 and it's replacement with a paragraph worth of stuff?...Disigner Bags...you know who I'm refering to...no not you...
Also there was no nudity because a red cape with the SuperMoo emblem on it is still clothing...That's all SuperMoo ever wears anywho...I mean it's no tightly fitting cloths or anything... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...um er
SuperMoo

I use the horribly overused overought overmispelled evil terrible unbelievable staff of underarm deorderant...

OF DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!