h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ok first of that warning that is the subject line is pretty accurate so you may not want to read any of the following...there are some things that thankfully cannot and will not be mentioned about my weekend and about what happened to guys that went with me to the lovely country of ummm what is that place again umm oh ya Canada but here goes a run down of the weekend with some of the open to the public info


We started off a bit later then planed on Friday due to a class running late for one of the guys in the car I was ridding in...as we left the city someone called to tell us that driver licenses would no longer allow you to go into Canada...they informed us that we needed passports and or birth certificates which none of the 4 of us in the car actually had on us...so we pulled over by Yankee stadium and proceeded to call onstar..the Canadian embassy and various friends with internet connections without any avail of finding out what we really needed so after half an hour of sitting there we headed back over the tri burro bridge to the first persons apartment to get his passport...when we got over the bridge we were once again called to let us know that drivers licenses would be accepted without any problem so we turned back around and went over the tri burro bridge...which if you don't know is a very packed slow bridge to be going back and forth on, on a Friday afternoon...so once again we were heading north and had to make a pit stop not long after the tapenze to get snacks and well you all know what people do at rest stops so back on the road zooming right along right...wrong...we hit traffic jam after traffic jam due to accidents along the interstate...many frustrating curse filled hours were spent before we stopped for dinner out side of Albany...we stopped at a sit down BBQ place and basically ate drank and were marry while picking on our very cute waitress *which it's pretty much a given that a group of guys are going to pick on any waitress weather she happens to be cute or not*...after gassing up we got back on the road and phoned to get status on another car that had gotten on the road 4 hours after us to see how they were doing...come to find out they were ahead of us by 4 miles...so needless to say a few speeding laws may have been broken so we could get our car up next to theirs and when we caught up we decided to pull over at a gas station so they could refill and we could once again use the rest stop for it's main purpose on long trips...they were out of room so one of their guys came over to our car beer was bought and we formed a mini fast convoy for the border....after much joking and drinking *no not the driver...he couldn't have any haha* we finally were in site of border...beer cans were already stashed in the trunk and we were ready to go through...should have no problems right...wrong...our driver was unsure and hesitated on some of the questions so of course we had to pull over to the immigration/customs building and get checked out...thank goodness they only checked our ID's and didn't search the car like they were doing to other people because we may of found it hard to explain the beer in the trunk...but I am sure we would of found a way...after 20 agonizing mins where we were unable to use the bathroom we got our paper stamped and were able to get on the road drive 200 feet and use the bathroom set up for travelers on the right hand side of the road....then we started back up way behind the other car who were nearing the hotel...after a few arguments about pretending the speed limit signs were in MPH not KPH or visa versa we got to the actual city of Montreal...and promptly got lost trying to find our hotel...but in getting completely lost we actually found it which is pretty interesting...and started checking into a very nice (way to nice for the likes of us) hotel....I think I finally got to sleep at 03 something
and got back up at 07 to get some food before heading off to the fields which come to find out where way out in the middle of nowhere in between corn fields...when we got there we released someone forgot to bring the jerseys from the hotel and they were promptly sent back to get them...which took them forever and they only just made it back in enough time for us to grab them for the first game...sense we were missing people we had to borrow people from other teams which made playing much harder...needless to say we didn't do to good the first game (we played Western who actually won the championship cup)...then we played our second game which we did much better and the score was much closer and well lets face it if we would of had a full team of Manhattan guys who were used to playing together we would of stomped em but we didn't so we didn't and lost by a few points....our last game that day was yet again another depressing loss which was quickly forgotten about because the once again started to flow...we went back to the hotel showered changed went to and all you can eat Chinese place then headed off to the bar where the tourney party was....many things happened during the night and most cannot be repeated ever but suffice it to say there was much drinking and debauchery and what not and generally a good time was had by all *some had a better time then others* so at 0400 when we stumbled back into three hotel after the dinner we went to there where few that didn't fall asleep within seconds of reaching there respective rooms...the next morning we got to sleep in all the way till well 08 and started getting ready for the second day of the tourney...due to our poor performance the previous day were put into the consolation bracket and where scheduled to play our first game at 11...sense the other team was also short players we decided to go 14 against 14 and we used only Manhattan players...we played so well and were hitting so hard and running so fast during the game that it was decreed that we had to from now on stay out drinking until 04 every night before a game....we beat the team put against us pretty handily and advanced to the finals for the conciliation cup...we picked up a few players and played yet another beautiful game with much excitement and took that game also....so we became the best of the losers YAY...if we would of played as well on sat as we did on sun I think we could of had a shot at the tourney championship actually but what can ya do...so now all we had to do was drink and watch the women and men champion ship finals...which we did...exciting games....for more then one reason....about 10mins to half time our team captain huddled us all together and told us that sense we won the consolation cup we had to do a little something at half time of the men final to celebrate so after the sounded the halftime and the US naval academy and western huddled up to get there half time speeches a group...matter of fact a whole team of very strange Americans...*I am not naming any names* streaked by from one end of the field to the other...admin many camera flashes and in front of a very fun crowd of oh 800 Canadians and rugby players....and thankfully none of the streakers where arrested.....so drinking started back up and we watched the end of the game....the awards ceremony was fun and we got our plaque for being the best losers and all that and once again we headed off down the road to the hotel to shower and change so that we could go out again...this time the team took over a Mexican restaurant though and we drank shots and beer and all that and were very loud and sense we were on the second floor everytime we went down the steps we had to do the worm or the otter or whatever you want to call it basically we went down on our stomachs...we left the restaurant and I am sure they were very happy we did and started off to that nights party....we were of course singing and making well basically general fools of ourselves which we are very good at...then there was the drinking...this time heavier and debauchery this time even more...and much fun was had by all, even more then sat night...and so we woke up a bit latter then needed on Monday morning got our stuff together and got our buts back on the road where once again there where people drinking and singing and having much fun...the only big traffic we ran into was at the border where we were in traffic jam for 2 hours....after that it was ok sailing or driving and what not and we got back to the city very late and very tired and some of us *actually not me or the driver* very drunk

and so concludes the weekend but here are some quotes from different people from the weekend that I found funny...names have not been disclosed to protect them from harassment

"oh no guys I can't go out I am not hungry" this person was caught eating much food within an hour...he just didn't want to be seen with us
"oh I would never date a fat woman"this jerk of a guy was found in the arms of a woman later that was much bigger then him and that is saying something
"you know I went to that strip club last night but I don't remember if I spent any money or if there were any stripers there"said in a mid morning haze Monday
"hey has anyone seen ______ I turned around and he was gone and so was that lady he was talking to" this guy turned up Mon right as his ride had given up and was about to leave him late in the afternoon
"man you guys suck you know I had to hang out with ______ where did you guys go and why didn't you let me know where you were going" evidently they were going to a strip club which one of em didn't remember
"hey you know that Massage place we passed on the way to the bar, there was nothing about massages in there" this quote was a favorite of many drunk people on sat night
"hey I go back muscles" this said by someone's girl friend who had her head turned and was doing the back muscle and arm flex thing not realizing she was practly shoving her chest into three guys faces...they couldn't tell if she had back muscles or not but weren't complaining
"oh I'm about six months along" a very big bellied man patting his belly and telling us the names he had come up for his twins
"hey lets forget this rugby game and just have a drinking contest"said by the first team we played on Sun...no wonder we won
"oh I here you guy's finally won a game"said by a waiter at the restaurant at the hotel where we ate breakfast everyday...needless to say no one has herd from him sense
"oh do you guys think you could streak by again I didn't have my camera ready" said by one of the many Canadian women streaked by some crazy people from NY
"how much of this monopoly money do I have to give you to buy a drink" one of the many rude American comments about the crazy Canadian money
"hey what was I going to do she kept buying me drinks" said by someone explaining why he was hanging out with a some girl
"those navy boys circle the bar like sharks" someone joking about how the navy kids where going in small groups and attaching themselves to any female that was in any way alone...and that they would constantly walk around the bar till the found one

that will do it for me


()

ah where did the not go...it was suposed to say not suitable


()

Yeah.... I read it thinking, ok, he's making sure it's suitable for everyone....

Still..... what a weekend!

I thought so


()

And best of all, I"m sure you were a perfect the whole time, so you could be the innocent observer of it all.

Right?

Um.... Tac?

Right?!

yep I was a perfect ummmno defintly


()

*tsk-tsk*

And at your advanced age, too! You should be ashamed of yourself!

Fifty year olds should behave more maturely than that.

I am reading "the light Fantastic" by Terry Pratchett and there is this guy about 80 years old that's going to marry a 17 year old and the main charactor is trying to tell him that it might be too much of a strain for him...."No, what I mean is, well, I mean physically, the point is, what about, you know, the age diffeerence and everything, it's a matter of health, isn't it, and-"

" Cohen clapped Rincewind on the shoulder. "Shometimesh we jusht have to take rishks," he said "Don't be offended, but I think we'll go ahead with the wedding anyway and, well," helooked at Bethan and sighted, "we'll just have to hope she's shtrong enough." "


()

That reminds me......

*giggle*

And the thought processes for this were fairly convoluted so don't take it the wrong way -

Shorty had one of the pictures of the two of you (I think you were just grabbing her around the knees, and she was starting to squeal that infamous quote) blown up to a 5x7 - put it in her locker at school, I think

* not sure how he should take it so it won't be the wrong way so decides to not take it at all and leave it right there where he found it so someone else can take it*


()

You can just take it (if you should ever choose to do so), that there were a lot of randomly semi-related thoughts going through my head when I read that post and eventually the process (which was very painful I might add), reminded me about the enlargement of that picture.

This post will automatically self-destruct in 10 seconds.

ahhhhhhhh hey wait it's been 15 mins there is nothing to worry about


BOOOOOMMMMMMMMM



()

Not to worry, people have tried to destroy conversations before..... but they *never* go away.....

Not even if they blow up the numerous times....

right


()