h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

-Bored? Not yet!
www.leech.dk/pop.swf

A man goes to the doctor. He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg.
Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to
hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has
this been going on?" asked the doctor.

"That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I
really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!"

"Sir," said the dumbfounded Doctor, "I really don't know what to tell
you. I've never encountered anything like this before."

"Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my
ankle," the man urged.

The doctor did as the man said and heard the ankle plead, "Please, I
just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks if you will."

"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing
about it in my books," he said. "However, I can make a well educated
guess though. Based on life experience I can tell you that your leg
seems to be broke in three places."

A woman took her dog to the vet "Doctor," she said, "I think my dog
is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and
took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog
didn't move.

"Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.

"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.

"$345," says the doctor.

"$345!!?" the lady asks.

"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."