h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I mean no offence to anyone who particular likes this particular moaning songstress, but I hope that Alanis Morrissette burns in hell.
Not because all she ever sings about is moaning about one thing or another..not because she has about as much talent as a dead camel when it comes to singing/songwriting..but I have a much more prominent issue with the b***h.
You see, being a Brit (alledgedly Americans have no idea what the concept means, and I don't feel like explaining it) I hold dear the meaning of the word Ironic, and the use of irony is common to my day to day life, really. Now, the song 'Ironic' by said Canadian Queen of whinge, is supposed to be about things that happen that are ironic.
What a f**king misnomer.
The woman rants about things like 'a black fly in your chardonnay' and 'rain on your wedding day', and claims 'isn't it Ironic..don't you think'. And although she asks us this question..she never seems to heed my cry of 'NO, IT'S NOT IRONIC, IT'S JUST PRETTY DAMN ANNOYING'. I'm aware that annoying wouldn't perhaps be as good a song title (though it would much more accurately describe both the song and the alledgedly ironic situations Alanis is moaning about.
One that really p**ses me off is the line that says something about 'a traffic jam, when you're already late'. Now, this has happened to just about everybody, in my area normally at least three times a week, and not once has anyone ever said, 'oh my, isn't this ironic...don't you think?'. In fact it's just plain a bad start to the day, now if the situation was, say, a traffic jam when you're already late for a council meeting discussing ways of reducing traffic in the local area...that would be ironic..but just a traffic jam...god no.
Also, lines like 'ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife' I mean come on...that's not ironic, that's just a particularly stupid kitchen you're living in, can't you just wash up a bloody knife for god's sake, or maybe even improvise, use the spoon's edge in a cutting/spreading fashion..I'm sure it can be done..I'm willing to try it out.
For god's sake woman..will you either take lessons in the meaning of the term irony, or just throw yourself off a bloody cliff and stop inflicting your supposedly agonised life upon us..we don't care...

So this woman's Canadian and you're having a pop at the Americans about their misunderstanding of concepts? In my experience the Canadians hate it when you mistake them for Americans and vice versa. Is that ironic - you ranting on about the ignorance of Americans when the ignorant party is a Canadian? I hope people don't go to hell for being ignorant or we all might just as well give in to temptation right now and have a good time before the big fry-up.

I know I insult Americans for there lack of knowledge of irony, this was merely a blanket bit of abuse (I'm sure its not true, but I've seen plenty of evidence to that contrary) and that was a completely different bit of my piece to the rant about alanis, I am aware that canadians are different to Americans, and from what I've observed of both cultures, Canada probably has a better grasp of irony than america, apart from this example...I'm not actually Xenophobic at all and would welcome either of these groups to come and prove me wrong, I'm also sure that millions of americans and canadians could probably quite easily prove themselves to be less ignorant than myselves..This whole thing was just cause I heard that song on the radio and realised just how damn stupid it is. I apologise to any Canadians or americans who feel I've treated them poorly.
Anyway, now that I've added this disclaimer
Please put on a couple of rashers of bacon for me..and some sausages..I wanna die with a body full of colesteral.

Sizzling away for you -- prepare your arteries for a treat

You stole that rant from Ed Burn.
Plagarist!!!!!

True though and annoying. "It's not Ironic it's just unfortunate. The only ironic thing about this song is that it is called "Ironic" but is written by a woman with no sense of irony!"

Cool.

Damn you..you're the first person ever to notice the true birth place of that rant...and I've passed it off as my own for years now..I'm evil

Like all great detectives I will now tell you how I came to this conclusion.

I've been passing this rant off as my own as well. Send a theif to catch a theif etc.

Therefore you exposed both of us! Vengeance was due.

To quote Guy Ritchie (A&J last night) "Here you see me using a technique I learnt from Tarantino called Plagarism." Genius.

Anyway whats wrong with being evil ("how many eggs are down here!")

Rejoice brother.

the sickest of Bobs