h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How quickly time passes when I would have it tarry!
And when I won't, it takes its sweet time.
I want the next three months to go by in a whirlwind because of the bad things I know I'm sure to face. Never mind finding joy; the pain casts a much longer shadow.

I think, as my dad used to say, that I need an attitude adjustment. The fact is that every bright, wonderful time, whether it's a moment, a day, or lasts for years on end, will be punctuated and accompanied by some kind of pain, misfortune, or discomfort. The degree to which I allow those things to become the main things will dictate my ability to take hold of the joy God has given me to embrace.

It's just that those things look so big. They look big enough to blot out the sun, stain everything brown, and drag me down to the ground. The Lord knows I have let them do it before.

I am desperate to break that cycle. I am desperate to be free.

Oh God, have mercy on me. Though I am so often mistaken, still accomplish what you set out to do in me. Though I so often ignore your providence, kindness, and grace, please, do not stem the flow! Though I miss the beauty and obsess over the darkness, continue to shed your light on an ever-increasing portrait of your creative goodness. I promise someday I will see it for what it is. Someday I will see you for who you are, and on that day, I know that you and you alone will fill my canvas. For once, everything will be blotted out and swallowed up by light.

Please, Lord, give me grace to understand and forgive my mother. Give me patience to wait until I am delivered from this situation, and give me love that I may honor you with my words and deeds. Thank you, Father. In Christ, Amen.