h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

According to good old mom and dad, I am not living up to my potential. I just want to put that out there. What girl at 23, just out of college, struggling to pay off student loans and a car and bills, actually lives up to her "supposed" potential?

And just what potential is that, I ask? But that's too much like fishing for compliments, so I don't really ask it. It's a good question, though.

Is it the potential to write well? To be a great muscician? To serve God? To make a lot of money and become self-sufficient? To be a good person?

And what of my dreams and desires? What about my opportunities, or lack thereof? What about debts and rent and food that has to be paid for, dreams or not?

I think I can accomplish all of my dreams. As well as those other things, I'd like to learn to dance well, to practice a martial art, to be a good role model and counselor, to touch and love people, to learn, and to become conformed to the likeness of Christ. I guess I just don't care how long it takes or in what order.

I don't have it now, and that's ok with me. I am doing what I think best for now, and that's all I can do. My parents, like most parents, want the best for me, better than they had, quicker and easier. It's irritating! It's sweet, but irritating. I may not know what I want, but I'm a heck of a lot closer to it than they are. They may think they know what I want, they may even "know best," but it's just not up to them, is it?

It's up to me. Inept, confused, excited, overwhelmed, uncertain, optimistic, dreamy, broken and afraid.