This is a Journal entry by Bagpuss
Jokes and airport security
Bagpuss Started conversation Jan 21, 2004
Well someone else is in gaol after joking about having a bomb in her luggage. Whilst I'm amazed that anyone still believes customs and airport security men might have a sense of humour, I wonder if the security guys have thought things through. Presumably they imagine the following scenario:
SECURITY: What's in your backpack, sir?
TERRORIST: Three Kalashnikovs and some semtex.
S: I beg your pardon, sir?
T: I said three Kalashnikovs and some semtex.
S: Aha! That was your big mistake. Look, here come the armed coppers now.
T: B****r, they warned me about this at terrorist training camp, but did I listen? Nooo. I'll never be a martyr at this rate.
Jokes and airport security
There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho Posted Jan 21, 2004
Maybe it went along these lines...
SAMANTHA MARSON: Careful with that bag, it's got three bombs in it.
SECURITY: Pardon?
SM: There are three bombs in the bag.
S: *Thinks* ::Oh gawd, does she really think I've never heard that one before? 
:: Right, you're nicked.
Jokes and airport security
E G Mel Posted Jan 22, 2004
I just can't beleive she repeated it twice!
Mel 
Jokes and airport security
sprout Posted Jan 22, 2004
This kind of thing, like so much of airport security, is about posture and pretence.
If we look like we take things very seriously, then we must be good at spotting terrorists, no?
sprout
Jokes and airport security
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Jan 22, 2004
If you ever find yourself in a plane, turn off your cellphone, especially if you might receive a call from anyone named Jack.
Can you imagine the repercussions if you answered the phone and said,
"Hi, Jack." 
Jokes and airport security
Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE) Posted Jan 23, 2004
Or if you've seen 'Airplane' you don't have to imagine...
Jokes and airport security
E G Mel Posted Jan 23, 2004
I don't remember that bit in airplane 
I think there was a case where someone joked that the reason they spent so much time in the toilet was because they were setting a bomb in there.
I think they would have been better off admitting they had the runs!
Mel
Jokes and airport security
Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE) Posted Jan 23, 2004
It's been awhile since I've seen it, but I think it's during the early bit while the announcement people are arguing over curb colors
Jokes and airport security
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Jan 24, 2004
Was that before or after the mental patient who thought he was Ethel Merman? Come to find out, he really *was* Ethel merman.
Jokes and airport security
Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE) Posted Jan 24, 2004
I don't remember...
Key: Complain about this post
Jokes and airport security
- 1: Bagpuss (Jan 21, 2004)
- 2: There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho (Jan 21, 2004)
- 3: E G Mel (Jan 22, 2004)
- 4: sprout (Jan 22, 2004)
- 5: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Jan 22, 2004)
- 6: Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE) (Jan 23, 2004)
- 7: E G Mel (Jan 23, 2004)
- 8: Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE) (Jan 23, 2004)
- 9: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Jan 24, 2004)
- 10: Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE) (Jan 24, 2004)
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