h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A29878474

http://www.royalparks.org.uk/parks/richmond-park

Richmond Park is a large expanse of land on the outskirts of London whose main purpose is to shelter large numbers of deer, and after he had spent an afternoon wading through the deer spores and also a large number of rabbit droppings Papa named the place the Poo Park. This label has stuck in our family, probably because later visits have just served to confirm the widespread and plentiful nature of, well, nature’s bounty. Mama now only remembers it isn’t actually called that when other people look at us strangely when my Fantastic Big Brother starts talking about it at the top of his voice.

There’s quite a lot to talk about because it’s huge. Mama parks in a different (FREE! Mama would like me to say that again because having a free car park at an attraction in London is almost unheard of. Having a car park is too really, but anyway, FREE!) car park each time and we strike out across unkempt grass, through spinneys and up and down hills, skirting the bracken, playing hide and seek in the rhododendrons and always avoiding the huge lake in the middle. My Fantastic Big Brother would want to chase the ducks and I would try to fling myself into the very accessible water, and Mama cannot be doing with either of these things. Basically, Mama really likes being able to almost pretend she is in the countryside, if the country side was full of people, edged by a constant stream of cars and had low flying planes screaming overhead on their way towards Heathrow every two minutes.

However, I find the ground a bit heavy going if truth is to be told, so my favourite bit is the Isabella Plantation, which is an enclosed, managed woodland area somewhere in the middle of the park. It’s not so much that the paths are any smoother as that Mama is forced to go very slowly because, oh wonder of marvels, there are streams, and so much of my Fantastic Big Brother and my attention is given over to attempting to dip various body parts in the water. This doesn’t make for a very restful visit for Mama, which is a shame, she thinks, as the wood itself is very pretty, with great splashes of colour in spring from flowering bushes in particular.

My Fantastic Big Brother really likes the deer and so far we have never had a visit which didn’t include tripping across a herd of them. They are remarkably tame and therefore surrounded at all times by people with serious looking cameras or, in the case of my Fantastic Big Brother, a large stick he is holding to his forehead in an attempt to simulate antlers. The exception to this is the autumn when the park rings to the loud grunting roars of the rutting bucks, and everybody stays the heck away from all of them.

Mama, what does ‘rutting’ mean?

There are refreshments here, the odd café or hot drinks caravan, but this is picnic central really. We even came here for my first birthday and brought many rugs, home made quiche, buckets of salads and Pimms. The Pimms looked nice. It had lots of fruit in it. But Mama said I was too young. Too young? I was one that day I tell you. Anyway, Mama has been known to drag us out here purely for the pleasure of eating in the open air, but I don’t mind. If she and Papa are sitting down, I am not having to hike and also they always take care to park themselves next to some tree trunks to climb on or near one of the multitude of wigwam-like dens that have been built repeatedly throughout the park. Mama is a little puzzled by these dens. She wonders if they are for the deer or for the humans, but either way is grateful for the distraction.

Another toddler-friendly area is the playground, but Mama has stumbled across this once and only by accident, so I am not sure if we will be revisiting it. This is a shame as it has the sort of slide that Mama thinks has been condemned elsewhere for being too high and too fast, and also something called a roundabout, which Mama says is now extinct because they are quite easy to fall off of, especially when you are playing the leap on and off them at speed game, or get your limbs trapped underneath, especially when you are lying on your tummy playing touch the fast moving ground, neither of which activities Mama knows anything about at all. On the other hand, Mama was a bit dismayed to find that the large sandpit also has a water feature. She managed to keep me out of it, because I am extremely distrustful of sand, nasty gritty shifty stuff, but was forced to concede that there was no way that My Fantastic Big Brother was going to get out dry, and so it proved. The Poo Park was treated to the sight of my Fantastic Big Brother in his pants for the rest of the afternoon.

I don’t know why Mama didn’t just remove his trousers when he first headed towards the wet stuff. Neither does she I expect.

Anyway, some photos here: http://solnushka.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/on-richmond-park/

Another great entry, I hope when you get done with these you put them together in a university type entry with an index.

My only disappointment was that when I went to your photos I was hoping to get a glimpse of the author and his Fantastic big brother!

You are doing great work, sorry to have not commented sooner.

FS

As far as I know, there are no online photos in existence of either the Star (aka Fantastic Big Brother) or the Comet.

What a fab place for a day out!

Deb

{Z}

I'll soon have a nephew...

No, sorry, no photos of the kids. I have this hope that it will give the plausible deniability in the playground. Among other things.

A nephew, Z? Cool! Is this the half Russian couple? Hurrah!

Yes yes. Apparently they don't want to call it z. Though it's about as silly as their new doouble barrelled surname sounds.

No, sorry, no photos of the kids. I have this hope that it will give the plausible deniability in the playground. Among other things.



I understand, perhaps you could save a few so you can post them after they have entered University, or the statutes of limitation have passed? Your children have captivated some of us!



FS

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