h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Deary me, you didn't expect the electricity to be cut of as well did you? Or the gas cylinders to run out on that very day. Still, you have now passed with flying colours the practical exam in How to Boil the Samovar in Less Than 15 Minutes, so that's a bonus. Pity the smoke stained your fingers and caused you to look like a left-handed 50-a-day smoker and you nearly chopped your finger off splitting the wood.

The ducklings were fun though, weren't they? The constant worrying about the one that wasn't eating. The drama of wondering which one was going to be captured by a hawk first. The daily chase around the lake trying to catch the little darlings before nightfall. Pity they are going to have their necks wrung in a few months, the cute yellow balls of fluff. And will you eat them? Watch this space for resolution to the tricky ethical dilema.