h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

November is a sad month for me. Memories of my father's passing, and of course all the poppies, just brings a lump to my throat when I think of all those who never returned home from war to their loved ones. I'm grateful my Dad survived his war injuries and went on to have a family with my mother: 4 children, 9 grandchildren, 3 great-grandsons (2 unseen).

I've spent the best part of this year caring for my ailing mother, as most of you know. I'd say it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it's also the most loving. Our roles have completely reversed. Yesterday I fed her like a mother feeds a baby, as her cellulitis is back and she can't use her right hand/arm. When I take her to the toilet I have to assist with everything (I'll spare the details). Sometimes this passes unmentioned, but other times she wails "I never thought it would come to this" or "I'm sorry you have to do this for me" etc etc. It makes me sad for her sake, such a proud woman that she once was, reduced to not being able to control her own bodily functions or even brush her own teeth and hair.



I don't want to live as long as she has if I'm dependent upon others for my care. I'd like to go at 88, like my Dad did.

That leaves me 30 years to complete all my started-but-unfinished h2g2 entries, who knows, I may even catch Bluebottle up

I'm going to do this NaJoPoMo 2013 as I did last year's, a journal a day but posting to the same thread, as I don't want to flood my friends' conversation lists.

GB

I remember when we had to toilet thing with my MiL. I understand what you mean.

reddit

Old age can be very cruel on some people... Seems most unfair...

Gb you've been through so much, but your grace and resilience are a true inspiration x

GB

the thing is, you do it for your mum out of love and as long as she knows that I suppose you're both still ahead.

Deb

Thanks everyone, I very much appreciate the support, and I know how much Mum appreciates me

Mum actually said today, while we were in the middle of toileting, "I'm glad I got what I asked for when I was having you".



We've had a good day, I prepared a lasagne ready meal for two, divided up not quite 50/50 but enough that Mum could manage, to hers I added some tinned sliced mushrooms cooked separately (I'm allergic to them). She all-but cleared the plate then asked for a pudding! Yogurt is all she can usually manage but they do some nice flavours now, and she chose banana toffee and ate all that. Then she settled down for a sleep so I did the washing, changed her bed, cleared away the pots. When I was done she'd put the horse racing on so I sat in her dining/bedroom doing my jigsaw puzzle for a couple of hours. It's lovely, a charity shop bargain, a Ravensburg butterfly collage, I've almost finished the edge pieces. Mum asked what the plan was for MondayI said let's get tomorrow over with first? She said what's tomorrow? I said Sunday. Oh yes, she said, the Lord's day, how could I forget that? I left about half-an-hour before the teatime carer was due and drove back home admiring the lovely sunset. Just noting it's my half-birthday tomorrow so there'll be for everyone (any excuse)

GB

I'm sure there was a lot of hard work involved, but you do make it sound like a lovely, peaceful day.

Deb

Thanks debhave some

Not only is it my half-birthday but there's also a new moon.

I've managed to get a few things done on h2g2 this morning as I was up at 7ammust fly now though

Next Sunday - usually spent at Cleethorpes Cenotaph - Mum has decided she's not going to attend and lay a wreath (as she has done every year since my father passed away) so we're going to watch the Queen do it instead, on the TV in Mum's nice warm living room

Must

>> "I'm glad I got what I asked for when I was having you".<<

Happy half birthday!

Deb

Half a birthday? Ooh does that mean I can be half me age then?
Lets see, that makes me err, ooh, a young (ish) whippersnapper.

What a lovely thing for your mum to say! Those are the sort of words that stay with you x

Yes, those things will stay with me long after this is all over. Today I was there by 10am, my brother & s.i.l. called for an hour before their cinema treat. I made Mum lunch with (her favourite) added mushrooms, did all the usual, she asked me if my sister was going to be visiting her, I said I didn't think so as she was spending time with her daughter home from Australia. Then at 10 to 4pm she declared there was nothing worth staying up for and wanted to go to bed. I rang the carers on-call/out-of-hours number - luckily it was answered, it isn't always - cancelled the next 2 carers, gave Mum her meds, got her into her night gear and put her to bed.

My puzzle is going well, I've found a space butterfly approaching planet and a morphing into a as it leaps out of the water. I love it when you're looking for a particular piece or colour, they seem to jump into your hand or are the next one you turn over in the box.

[Amy P]

That moment of recognition is wonderful, isn't it? I'm frustrated with my current jigsaw as I can't even complete the edge - there are lots of white merging into pale yellow bits and however I put them together, nothing seems right. But I know at some point it'll click into place and I'll be happy again

Deb