This is a Journal entry by Mr Jack
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Porcelain Monkey…
Mr Jack Started conversation Jun 18, 2005
Experiencing Anxiety – been feeling tense and anxious, like I’m not in control, afraid I can’t cope, gonna be overwhelmed - selfharm, mess-up die. Been having palpitations and getting close to panic attacks. Cold sweats when I am very cold, pouring with sweat when I'm warm or hot... Crying weeping tears.
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 18, 2005
No matter how pleasant a move of house is, it's still a big change and it can still have a big effect on you. Do you think it's the move that has triggered this off?
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 18, 2005
I hope your panic has subsided and you are feeling a little calmer. Here's a towel to hide under.
I have this little routine I go through whenever I have a panic attack. Perhaps you have one of your own and have already been using it; anyway, I'll tell you mine just in case.
1. Sit down or, even better, lie down.
2. Focus on relaxing your muscles, especially shoulders and jaw. Fastest way to do this is to clench them up really tight, then let them go.
3. Slow your breathing down. Inhale and hold it for three seconds; exhale; repeat.
Making myself smile a bit seems to have a knock-on effect sometimes, too.
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 18, 2005
Although, there are disadvantages to the whole optimism thing....
http://www.pancakepostcards.com/images/pessimism.png
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 18, 2005
This may appeal to your sense of humour.
http://www.despair.com/
Porcelain Monkey…
Mr Jack Posted Jun 18, 2005
I'm not so tearful now... Still feeling strained. Only got a couple of hours sleep.
I'd been hoping I could use this visit to my mother's to wind down abit from the stress on the past couple of weeks. But no such luck, I'm feeling too fragile and have tasks more I need to get done and things I need to think about.
Sean a few days back manage to trigger painful stuff for around Suz... So I've all that pain to get on with aswell.
And I went into my room here in the small hours of today, to start working out what i want to take to the flat. I have been sleeping on the floor in the living room here and hadn't been in that room for two years.... The emotions being in that room triggered were intolerable...
I'm hurting.
People think I've made so much progress, that I'm stronger and intelligent and all that crap... Push me and I break.
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 18, 2005
No wonder you're feeling crappy, with all this stuff being triggered. You're not superhuman and nobody can expect you to be. I know how easy it is to have he rug pulled from under your feet just when you think everything's going swimmingly. One phone call from my mother had me in a similar state two days ago. At least in my case there is something I can do about the situation (which I can't disclose); for you it seems a case of "the best way out is through". As the therapists are so fond of saying.
Sorry man, I really have to go now. Take care. All the best.
Porcelain Monkey…
Mr Jack Posted Jun 18, 2005
I ought have covered further this with Lydia, but I was feeling physically under the weather and in addition so delighted to see her I didn't communicate well that there was more going on than standard ‘stress of moving’.
Take care.
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 20, 2005
Sorry to hear that, Nyx. Are you still feeling panicky, or has it developed into ever more interesting forms of horribility?
Are you at your mum's still?
Porcelain Monkey…
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Jun 21, 2005
I've been in France for a week, just came home and found this thread...
Not having experienced the things you have, I can't give better advice than Snailrind, but I can give you my hugs and a loobrush. Moving house is terrible, I never want to do that again, even though *living* in another house might be nice.
Don't feel bad about feeling bad is all I can say. Things you went through were bad, doing and seeing other things and triggers emotions, but it doesn't mean that the bad things are actually happening again? At least I hope not.
Can someone help you or be with you when you sort the things at your mum's? Or might that feel even worse?
Milla
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 22, 2005
Hi, Milla. A holiday in France sounds very nice. I hope you had a good one.
I'm very "not cool" myself at the moment. Turns out there is nothing I can do about the problem I mentioned above, and things are a lot worse than I thought.... My point in telling you this is not to hijack your thread with my own concerns, but to pass on something which helped me last night.
I was lying there with my mind churning, wondering how the hell I was supposed to get any sleep, when I remembered something a psychologist once suggested: counting slowly backwards from, say, 600. Anyway, I tried it. It didn't totally block out the thoughts, but it was distracting enough to prevent me from focusing fully on them. I started yawning when I was in the 480's; by the 300's I had to keep reminding myself to count, because my mind kept drifting. I fell asleep as I was approaching 100. And I found it's impossible to cry while counting backwards. I hope that's of some help.
Porcelain Monkey…
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Jun 23, 2005
!
I do the counting backwards thing too! But I usually start at 200, and make myself start over when I loose myself... They say you can up the odds by counting in steps of seven - that will surely keep you nicely confused!
Snailie, hope your worries pass soon!
Kamanchi, friend, I will stay in touch!
Milla
Porcelain Monkey…
Snailrind Posted Jun 27, 2005
Long time no post, Nyxkind. How are you? Here's hoping you're just busy, merrily redecorating or something. Sending warm thoughts your way.
Porcelain Monkey…
Mr Jack Posted Jun 28, 2005
Milla.
Snailrind.
Haven't been near a computer for a while.
I did put a first coat of paint on the walls of the hallway on Saturday.
Yesterday I had to go to the stupid jobentre about getting INcome Support.
Today I saw my Therapist. Tomorrow I'll be doing pottery before heading off to the local college about an Access course. This I expect to be even more stressful than the trip to the jobcentre.
Still feeling fairly anxious alot of the time. But so intensly as I was for those weeks of upheaval.
I will be online again over the weekend.
Be well...
Avernus.
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Porcelain Monkey…
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- 2: Snailrind (Jun 18, 2005)
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- 5: Snailrind (Jun 18, 2005)
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- 8: Mr Jack (Jun 18, 2005)
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- 11: Snailrind (Jun 19, 2005)
- 12: Mr Jack (Jun 19, 2005)
- 13: Snailrind (Jun 20, 2005)
- 14: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Jun 21, 2005)
- 15: Snailrind (Jun 22, 2005)
- 16: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Jun 23, 2005)
- 17: Snailrind (Jun 27, 2005)
- 18: Mr Jack (Jun 28, 2005)
- 19: Scandrea (Jun 28, 2005)
- 20: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Jun 29, 2005)
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