This is a Journal entry by Mr Jack
For The Last Time.
Mr Jack Started conversation Mar 5, 2005
Something that helped to me to get over the termination of relations with my former-fiancé was wearing on a strip of black leather about my neck the engagement ring. I wore it as a reminder that there had once been a sincere commitment to each other between us. There had once been real love. That the end of the relationship had not changed the facts of what had once been.
I've taken that ring off for the final time. Not for particularly positive reasons. I feel like a “fat f**ckwit”.
For The Last Time.
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Mar 5, 2005
That was a healthy symbolic act in my eyes. Or two, actually.
wearing the ring as a reminder of the positive parts of your relationship was good.
removing it, as a symbol of the relationship really having ended is good too.
I think it is (?)appropriate? healthy? understandable? (looking for a good word) to feel low, and have a bit of sorrow even after performing an 'ending' ceremony / symbolic act, and I am sure it will give way, and leave a space for new and positive relations.
You are in no way a f*wit!
Milla
For The Last Time.
Mr Jack Posted Mar 14, 2005
I am fat.
How much of a f**kwit I am is a matter of opinion.
For The Last Time.
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Mar 14, 2005
In my opinion you are no f**wit. So there!
Milla
For The Last Time.
Snailrind Posted Mar 14, 2005
Fat? Are you? My mistake.
I'm working on getting fat.
For The Last Time.
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Mar 15, 2005
You're not tiny. So? In some ways I'm sure it matters (Hey, I could lose some too...) but here, on hootoo, it is of no importance. Not to me, not to most people. And those whom it matters to, perhaps do not matter so much to me. (Was that grammatically OK???)
By the way, that was a really good photo of you! I think I will keep the shortcut somewhere safe (oh. it is safe here. I forgot. Just have to remember where...)
Milla
For The Last Time.
Snailrind Posted Mar 15, 2005
Heyyy! You look cool. 
(I know you don't respond well to compliments so I'll brace myself for your assumption that I'm lying.
) You look like a friend I had at college. A trilby'd really suit you.
It is a nice picture. Better than the other one I saw, taken with the flash bulb. Now I see what you actually look like.
I thought your arm had a tattoo on it, then I realised. Ouch!
It's nice that you're so cool about it; I always hid mine.
For The Last Time.
Mr Jack Posted Mar 18, 2005
"(Hey, I could lose some too...)"
Eh? You could lose some, but you don't need to for cosmetic reasons let alone health reasons.
"You're not tiny. So?"
So, I'm not slim slender or compact, I'm not a comfortable size or even just plum or cuddly, I am the size of an elephant seal. I'm [morbidly] obese.
For The Last Time.
Mr Jack Posted Mar 18, 2005
"You look cool."
Erm... no.
"A trilby'd really suit you."
I could find one I liked a good price last time I looked, that was back in 2003.
"It is a nice picture."
It doesn't show me as 'bad' as others do.
"I thought your arm had a tattoo on it, then I realised. Ouch!"
Yeah, you can't see the cuts but most of the burns do seem to stand out quite a bit there. When I look at my arm it's only 18 inches from mi head and they don't seem like they'd quite so obvious...
I'd use the physical pain of a burn to deal with the emotional pain, and found that for me it was like to wave forms meeting canceling each other out...
"It's nice that you're so cool about it; I always hid mine."
I've never been ashamed to have been self-harmer. Besides they probably keep the kind of scum that think that self-harmers are attention seeker and think that people mental health problems are inferior etc away.
For The Last Time.
Milla, h2g2 Operations Posted Mar 19, 2005
Dear, to me your weight really doesn't matter, other than that it is a sore spot, and makes you unhappy, which I really don't like you to be. I whish I could drop this subject, and talk about something that cheers you!
My weight - I have been asked to lose some... I am not very unhappy about my weight, but someone else is 
.
I do like the sunglasses in the picture! Those *are*
Milla
For The Last Time.
Mr Jack Posted Mar 19, 2005
I've not really felt cheered by much of anything, not deep down for the past week or so.
For The Last Time.
Snailrind Posted Mar 19, 2005
That throwaway comment really got to you, didn't it! How unfortunate that it had to be *that day* that you looked at her journal. 
Don't you know that all exes are fat fuckwits? It kinda goes with the territory. 
The smallest things can bring grief welling right up to the brim again. For me, it was Mother's Day. I feel for you. I know that dealing with it can be a painfully slow process, and not something that can be avoided or short-cutted.
Key: Complain about this post
For The Last Time.
- 1: Mr Jack (Mar 5, 2005)
- 2: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Mar 5, 2005)
- 3: Mr Jack (Mar 5, 2005)
- 4: Scandrea (Mar 5, 2005)
- 5: Snailrind (Mar 14, 2005)
- 6: Mr Jack (Mar 14, 2005)
- 7: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Mar 14, 2005)
- 8: Snailrind (Mar 14, 2005)
- 9: Mr Jack (Mar 14, 2005)
- 10: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Mar 15, 2005)
- 11: Snailrind (Mar 15, 2005)
- 12: Mr Jack (Mar 18, 2005)
- 13: Mr Jack (Mar 18, 2005)
- 14: Milla, h2g2 Operations (Mar 19, 2005)
- 15: Mr Jack (Mar 19, 2005)
- 16: Snailrind (Mar 19, 2005)
- 17: Mr Jack (Mar 19, 2005)
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