h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've tried working and trying to keep track of forums at the same time. It doesn't work. So, rather than try to apply one hemisphere of my brain to my work and the other to forums, I'm trying to do one thing at a time, and do it well.

Actually, I wonder what a left-hemisphere forum posting would look like. And a right-hemisphere one? Perhaps any psychoneurophysiologists reading would be able to tell me. I have feeling they would probably be typed one handed, though.

Anyway, please be patient. I read, I ponder, I cogitate, I am struck by the miraculous sword of inspiration, I respond. Sometimes this all occurs in nanoseconds (give or take), sometimes in millennia (give or take). Bear with me, OK? Thanks.

I leave you with a Buddhist proverb which should be remembered when eating donuts on the beach: "A moment on the lips, one hundred and eight lifetimes on the hips."

From Joolsee's Dictionary of Dodgy Quotations (Millennium Edition).

Joolsee, this may or may not be of some help...
I try to keep track of several forums at once, by having more than one window open at a time, with a different forum in each. That way I can reply to one whilst waiting for another to load up, or read one and answer another at the same time...(well, OK, this leads to slightly distracted comments, but at least it sort-of works)

Is this any help?

Like the proverb BTW

Oh, hi! I just tried to scare you over in another forum, but either I'm not very scary, or you have really slow reflexes.

Actually, that does make sense. I have been trying to do something like that, but I don't think I'm configured for parallel processing. Actually, I'm getting used to it already. It's a bit weird though, having a conversation with someone in two places at once.

If I ask you a question here, would you answer it over there?

Actually, I do say actually a lot, don't I?

I wonder if this is a 'postings' thing, or if my ordinary conversations consist of a single repeated word, garnished with the odd verb (adverb?)

No, I'd answer it over here.

Unless you wanted me to answer it over htere...otherwise it gets a bit confusing.

Sorry I took so long, I had to feed some...erm..."pets"...I suppose is the best word for them...

Pets? Pets? I love pets

What are they?

We have lots of pets...
...but the ones I was feeding just now were my 2 Japanese fire-bellied newts, known as Scorch and Tails.
(Scorch, because of the fire reference, and Tails, simply because he lost his tail and grew a new one.)

Oh noooo!
Promise me you won't read the other forum!
Promise! Promise!

You're too late...I answered here then read the other forum - a consequence of the method I described above. But as long as you stay away from them, you're forgiven.

Besides I only take *substitute*-dried frog pills because I'm a vegetarian...

What are the chances of that happening?
Either the world is very strange, or you are playing with my mind.

If the world is strange, I apologise for my poor taste in humour. It was a joke. "No newts were harmed in the making of this joke."

If you are playing with my mind, tres bon!

I hope you're playing with my mind.

Were you playing with my mind?

I am seriously *not* playing with your mind. I hosestly have newts, told you, then went and read the other forum, wrote something there, then came back here, wrote something here...

...if you want confirmation then you can trace back the last few posts I made by looking at the times they were posted. You'll see that they all occur in a million-to-one order.

I believe you when you say that no newts were harmed. Honest. I don't lie - well I haven't lied to anyone on here yet and I'm not going to, and I try to minimise it to small white lies in RL.

I don't lie (too much/often/blatantly), but I do use humour a lot. Occasionally I do manage to place my pedal appendage intra-orally.

Sorry if I conjured up painful and upsetting images.

I do like pets. I'm sure I could learn to love newts and their amphibian ways.

Don't worry about it. I'm a forgiving person...besides I know they're safe from your clutches...

Still, what a coincidence for that forum thing to happen...

I'm spooked.
Thanks for forgiving me. I feel absolved.
I also feel I need a major sleep. I've noticed looking back at some of my postings that I type/spell really badly when I'm on the verge of passing out through exhaustion (or is it that I just type/spell really badly?)
Nice to think of two happy newts, fed, watered (obviously), settling down to a sleep. Or are they nocturnal? Newts of the night?

They walk around at just about any time of day...or rather they stomp around, they look like little dinosaurs.

Not to spook you out any further, but I also used to have 2 African (albino) claw-toed frogs. They died a couple of years ago though...

You must have some pet shop near you!
Round here we have dogs. And cats. Furry things don't appeal, then?

Did I forget to mention that I have 8 dogs as well? That was not a typo, I really did mean 8. Some people find that hard to believe...though the numbers are going down now. A couple of years ago we had 11, but then we lost 1 to old age and 2 to cancer...

Wow. You must have a big house, and dog hair everywhere!
I'm slumping. Got to go. 'Night.

'Night Joolsee!
I'm pretty tired myself - *yawn*