h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mrs Monk Laughs at one of my jokes! Normally she hates them. She says they are awful, and that my sense of humour makes strong men weep and women reach for weapons. But, inspired by the tawny owl outside our hosue tonight I told he an old one she had never heard before:
Q: What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
A: One shoots but can't hit, but the other....

There's a name for that sort of joke - the ones where you deliver half the punchline and the audience has to construe the rest. I recall James Burke explaining it on TV years ago but I can't for the life of me remember what the name is.

Sounds like a joke possibly inspired by William Archibald Spooner. Rather clever. As an experiment, you might try a few other Spoonerisms on the Mrs. and see if they have a similar effect.

I'm most impressed, however, by the fact that you have owls nearby. I'm envious. I love the sound of owls, but live in an area too urban to have them nearby enough to hear at night.

I've always found owl jokes to be quite inspiring.

All those twits and too-woos.

And I'd advocate spooning with the mrs also, an excellent idea J.

And piano thieves are welcome at my place, but bicycle thieves will be ceremoniously hung, drawn and quartered - then packaged in bubble wrap and sent off to Raleighs.

Matt, judging by the number of Front Page entries with your name on them recently, you've been keeping yourself productivly busy! Keep up the good work!

"Mrs Monk Laughs at one of my jokes!"

Incidentally, Nailrod, I certainly hope Mr. Monk never finds out that the Mrs. has been hanging out with one of the Badfort crowd. And plying her with one of your irresistible owl jokes no less. Have you no shame?

I have two owls at least living in the trees opposite my house. We live smack bang next to a golf course and there is a large stand of mature trees facing us. There was a male tawny owl to-wooing a lot last night. He was rather fed up because no female was calling back.

I have no idea why but they get very vocal at this time of year.

I'm consumed with owl envy, plain and simple. Some people seem to have all the luck. The owl haves and have nots, as it were. You with two and me with none. Life simply is not fair.

Several years ago, I knew where a screech owl had a nest in a hollow tree in a wooded area about a mile from where I live. I'd often see the owl sitting at the opening to its nest soaking up the early morning sun on cool mornings. Unless you knew where to look, you could walk past it a thousand times and never see it. Marvelous camouflage. Then a wind storm took down the owl's tree, and I've been owlless ever since.

I've been lookingn for a name for the house for ages, but I think I shall call it 'Owl Springs': http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/introduces/uncle.htm

Many thanks for the informative link! Yes, Owl Springs sounds like a fitting appellation for your manor. Guess I'd need to call my humble abode Owl End, or some such.

I was going to call our house "Fir Cove" - explaining that we have a fir tree in the front garden and we live in Coventry.


Nearly got away with it, but then Mrs D. heard me pronouncing it to a friend.

Being Welsh, the other name I thought of was 'Llamedos'. Mrs. Monk is onto 'Llarregub', unfortunately.

Not being of the Welsh persuasion myself, I'm afraid your last post went right over my head! I have noted, however, that there's an h2g2 researcher who goes by the handle LuckyLlarregub, which hitherto had meant absolutely nothing to me. Now I see it may have a Welsh connection. Life is full of mysteries!

Read it backwards

Aha! Thanks! Those crafty Welsh! I should have guessed!

I heard another one last night.
Q: what's the difference between a barrowboy and a dachshund?
A: The barrowboy bawls out his wares on the pavement...

Quite clever! I've gotten a bit of mileage out of the owl joke myself.