h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My girlfriend of three years (1/2 of which we were engaged for) and I have broken up.

Over the past 2 months we have come to the realization that each of us have some major issues with the others way of dealing with things. The problem is that we have issues with core attitudes towards problem solving, and so we tend to butt heads on the issues.

Over the course of the last two months I have come to the realization that I like her as a friend, I love her, but I can't see getting married to her, and some of her relationship issues just don't work for me.

So today we had the *discussion*. Very casual, very nice, extremely civilized, we both talked, we both agreed.

So now I am going to start looking for a house. Luckily I have the down payment, I just never thought I would own a house alone.

While I realize that there is a difference between alone and lonely, it sucks to be 32 years old and single again. I had hoped for better, but it looks like that's what life has in store for me.

I know I made the right decision and that it was the adult thing to do, but this really sucks.

Thank you for reading this, any comments are welcome.

Courtesy

You'll be ok.

Thanks. I just thought this was the one.


Courtesy

It sounds as though the break up was calm and quite civilized. It's a good thing when both parties realize that the relationship is just not working.

It was meant to be.

WM - it was ... and I agree. We have even agreed to continue in the same place together until I find a place.

Thanks for the

Courtesy

I'll be damned if critizised for being unmanly, but I know the feeling. Some things are better off, and time will heal all wounds it is said. Rubbish if you ask me.

You've your friends when needed. You have but to ask.

I sometimes wish my ex and I had had that civilised conversation before we got married, Courtesy. Our split had a lot to do with the same issues you describe, attitudes toward life and problem-solving. At the time, I thought it was a matter of culture, but I've learned that it's more basic than that.

Being alone sucks for a while, but it is a lot better than sticking to a relationship out of fear of the dark. It took courage, what you did, and it was right.

Thanks for reminding me to be brave rather than unhappy.

Thanks all. It's great to know that you are all there for me.

Lil - I'm definitely glad that the coversation was before any major committments (wedding, house, etc.) .... its weird how the core issues are the last issues raised.

My problem was in that fact that I am a problem solver by trade, and I couldn't solve this problem. When it comes to core issues, you either agree or not. It was hard to realize that, but I know that it is for the best in the long run.

MR - I believe that it is better to be alone for the right reasons than safe for the wrong ones. If you need to talk, just drop me a line, either email me or give me a call.

Marv - thanks for the reminder that you are all there for me, it makes life easier to bear.

Courtesy

I wish I'd had that conversation before the committment too...I know the feeling. It really sucks, but gets better.

Courtesy, it is but what we can do.

In retrospect, whenever I feel cheated about never having been able to marry Liz, I am glad that I did not before she pulled her drug abuse stunt. Had I married her first, it would likely have killed me. As it was, the abandonment is very nearly the hardest thing I have ever had to weather.
It was one year ago that she left me, and I still hurt. But I have grown to expect the hurt and am trying to get on with my life. At least you have a mutual understanding, though i am sure that is little comfort. Whenever you part ways with someone you love it is difficult. I know that it is only through the help of those friends around me (and that includes my friends on the guide) that has kept me sane. I would hardly be paying back that debt if I did not try to help another who is parting ways with someone close.

Courtesy, the decision's been made. The problem is, Irvine and the surrounding area's just too damned expensive to do it on my own.

Thanks all for your support, it REALLY means a lot.

to all.

Courtesy

Being an adult isn't all that bad Hope you're well. You, Redbeard and Lil were the first researchers I met, and that was 3 years ago, too. Sorry about your breakup but keeping the friendship will be well worth the current feelings of sorrow or pain.

I wouldn't be in my 30's again for anything! Too up and down emotionally, worse than my teen years.

~your pal

Thanks ox .... I don't think I realized I was one of the first people you met.

I think things will settle down once I move out and get a house.

Courtesy

holler if you need help moving. I've got a small pick-up.

Do it on a weekend and I might just have to find myself in Irvine

Fortunately, I have few possesions that will be leaving the house.

However, I will be throwing a House Warming party soon after my move. I will post that in the Ateleir.

Thanks again to everyone.

Courtesy

in VL or RL? Plan it the right way, and maybe we could get marv to come!!!

I was just thinking the same. And if I trade my ford in for the Saab that I want, it will be even more likely that I will want to go! Even if I don't, the drive to Courtesy's is not that bad.