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I just thought that was a nice title, please don't shoot me as I am not a representative of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. I am known as Researcher 99207, or "The Git" to my friends. My real name is not important. Anyway, to buisness. If anywhere you see this symbol: ><> then the word following may be unknown to you, and therefore you should do one of three things:

1) Look it up in that fascinating publication "The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy" this will bring you little, if any, assistance.

2) Get your friend, if you have any friends which is doubtful considering the fact that you have time to waste on reading this drivel, to say the word several times in your ear while you have a babelfish in place.

3) Search for Pan Galactic Gargleblasters in the Guide, buy one, get drunk, and forget all about it.

Anyway, I soon intend to submit several entries to the editor of the guide. The subjects I intend to write about are:

Camels
Onions
Health
Wealth
The persuit of happiness
What to do when you have achieved happiness
The History of the clowns nose.
Club Music
Among Others.

Look out for my work. This introduction was written in my bedroom in Headingley, in Leeds, in Yorkshire, in England ><>, in Great Britain, in Europe, in the Western World, in the Northern hemisphere, on Earth, in the Western Spiral arm of the galaxy.

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Stress Jun 4, 2000

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Researcher 99207

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