Halloween
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Halloween or, as it was originally called, All Hallows Eve, takes place on the evening preceeding November 1st, All Saints Day, or All Hallows Day as it was originally called, this day is nearly always October 31st. The significance of this day was only invented in about the 12th to 15th century CE, when witch hunting, and burning thereof, was the most popular past time of Christians. Bearing in mind of course that anyone who wasn't Christian was deemed a witch and was therefore burnt, it was probably not a favourite past time of non-Christians. In those days Halloween was considered to be the one evening when the dead and the damned could be summoned back to life and Satan himself, with the age of his witches, would reek havok on Earth and God himself would be powerless to prevent it.
Over the years, first in America and later in Europe, Halloween evolved to include wannabe satanists dressing up in costumes of witches, warlocks, werewolves, vampires, frankenstien monsters, grim reapers and anything else the local newsagent sells, and going around Trick Or Treating. This involves (In America) knocking on doors and saying, in cute childish voices, "Trick Or Treat" to the owner of the establishment. If the answer is "Trick", which it seldom is, then the usual response is a heavy beating, throwing raw eggs at the door of said property (or said owner) or smashing the garden or windows of said property. In more extreme cases fireworks have been known to go off in the vicinity of the house. (See Fireworks night) (In England the response is either a childish magic trick or a joke or some lame excuse to throw rice or some other substance at the owner. It is never, however, harmful.). If the answer is "Treat" the owner must give the Mini satanists some form of food. A sweet is traditional, but some prefer to give out fruit or money. In rare cases the owner of the house administers violence to the T or T 'ers, but this is usually due to ignorance.
Other uses of Halloween include:
- The showing of hideously poor movies on TV
- The Selling of greetings cards
- Giving a starving Guide researcher something to write about.
By Alex Baker-Graham
