h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I got a weird telephone call today. Some guy left a message in my voicemail, with this long drawn-out story about how he'd been burgled and one of the things stolen was a nude portrait of himself. The punchline was, he wanted to know if I would go round to his house and do a nude portrait of him to replace it. Ack. I've met some freaks in my life but that's a first. Even if I had the time (I'm snowed under with commissions until the end of April) I am not stupid enough to go to some strangers house and expect him to simply sit there while I draw him in the buff. I'm sure he would be expecting payment "in kind" rather than in cash. Sheesh.

"in kind" such as a good romp in the snow and entrance through the hot back door...hehehe..(sorry for my vulgarity...oh no...bbc moderators are going to come get me!!) I found your journal entry quite funny. But the real reason I'm writing is because someone burgled my house the other day and stole the nude painting i had of myself...I really loved it...it was the centerpiece of my entire house...And i was wondering if you could come paint another for me...lol...But the question is can you paint with your hands tied down?

"in kind" such as a good romp in the snow and entrance through the hot back door...hehehe..(sorry for my vulgarity...oh no...bbc moderators are going to come get me!!) I found your journal entry quite funny. But the real reason I'm writing is because someone burgled my house the other day and stole the nude painting i had of myself...I really loved it...it was the centerpiece of my entire house...And i was wondering if you could come paint another for me...lol...But the question is can you paint with your hands tied down?

ugh. i hate it when i double post. It really does take away a bit of the original impact. Sigh. there goes privelidged moments.

> But the real reason I'm writing is because someone burgled my house the other day and stole the nude painting i had of myself...I really loved it...it was the centerpiece of my entire house... <

Hmm. I wonder why I don't believe you?

> But the question is can you paint with your hands tied down? <

No, but I can still kick you in the tenders. *lol*

Dragging this conversation back to some semblance of seriousness (so the moderators don't get cross)... I hope this doesn't give the impression that I'm some kind of prude. The reason I turned the job down wasn't because I have issues with men's naked bodies. It was entirely a safety issue. If I was to accept his request it doesn't take a degree in rocket-science to figure out that I am putting myself at risk. OK he may be perfectly innocent, he may have treated me in a very gentlemanly way, but it's a risk I'm not prepared to take.

I completely understand. Me, myself, personally, that is, wouldn't undertake such a job as painting some strange naked man (unless ofcourse the price were right...Heh...everyone has a price, though i would still take a few stringent precautions) whom could be all sorts of crazy either.
Prude? Nah! I think you realize I was just being very silly, for I found your journal entry quite amusing. Because it seems like something that would happen to me! (i seem to get myself into strange situations a lot...or perhaps strange situations seem to get themselves into me)
::kicked in the tenders:: OUCH!! Hey what is a tender anyway? OOooooh I get it...heheheheh ::laughs as she walks away::

*blinks* She? Oh, whoops. I couldn't tell without me contact-lenses in. Sorries.

::laughing maniacally:: I hope your prescription is very strong, that would give me some comfort! (wouldnt like to be mistaken for a man in person by someone without contacts still! hehehehe) WOoooo better keep 'em in for detailed painting! ::sigh:: ah. too silly.