h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The trouble J's having at school with concentrating is probably because he doesn't have someone to sit with him, keep him on task and also because a classroom can be a noisy and distracting place in a mainstream school.

Whereas at home, you are able to provide a routine with a quiet and safe environment in which J obviously thrives.

Most special needs school have classrooms that are intentionally organised and colour-schemed to be relaxing and ensure that a routine is adhered to. Chris's old classes at his special needs junior school always had one teacher and at least one classroom assistant to every six children.

If I were you, I would definitely make contact with the local Snap group and this lady at your school, as I'm sure they'd be only too pleased to help you and J.

One of my friends and neighbours has a seven-year-old son with ADD and a confrontational disorder who can also become violent. He was prescribed Ritalin just over a year ago and has also been sent to a special needs school as the Catholic junior school's headmistress described him as "The child from Hell" and said they couldn't cope with him. (Not a nice thing to say to a parent, is it?) Unfortunately and to my confusion, his mother who is a nurse, felt that having her son attend a special needs school held a shameful stigma but eventually gave in. Still, people grow up with differing attitudes to disabilities.

On the days that this particular child doesn't have his medication and visits our house, the change for the worse is quite noticeable and unfortunately I've had to send him home when he has become too much to handle as I don't want my son's toys (or anything else) broken.

The good news is that this particular lad is now doing much better at school since he's been moved to a special needs unit. Perhaps attending a special needs unit is something you should consider for your son (if only for a short time so he can catch up on his curriculum).

By the way, you forgot to mention whether or not you've heard of "The Family Fund"... They give grants to families who aren't on benefits as well you know...

You're right, I did forget, but then I went remembered and posted straight afterwards.

I don't think J needs a special school, as I think his case is too mild. Even the specialist admits that he does not show all the symptoms of ADHD. On the other hand, having that sort of teacher/child ratio would do wonders for any child's education! I'm keen to keep him local, as he's an only child I don't want him to become isolated from friends in this area.

I didn't have much luck with finding a support group specifically related to ADHD in the book I mentioned. However, I'll ask around with a few contacts that I have. (There's bound to be one somewhere.)

It's good that J's problem isn't bad enough to warrant his attending a special needs unit, however he sounds as though he needs one-to-one support within the class room for at least some of his more difficult lessons.

I know that some mainstream schools have a special needs unit (a quiet class room that is set aside) within their premises where some children go either part or full-time for the lessons they are having specific problems with or just to give them a break from the hurly-burly of school life.

Which ever way you decide to go, it is important that J gets individual support as soon as possible before he falls too far behind, which could then effect his self-esteem. It's always best to catch children as young as possible because as they grow older, it is harder to correct or improve their behaviour and school work. The best thing that you could do for J is to push for a statement, get him the help he obviously needs and try not to worry about being pushy or upsetting the LEA boffins.

The school has a special needs teacher, but not a unit. He gets a special needs 'work up' which lists his problem areas, targets for him to aim for, and how he will be helped to get there, so that's quite useful. It doesn't come out as often as I'd like it to, but he normally has some success on it. J's teacher hasn't called me over to ask for him to go back on the ritalin, so things must be going fairly well for him. Next week he has to go back on it for a week, to see what the difference is in his bahaviour and work. Then I'll be seeing his teacher again to discuss it.
I've just had to reapply for his DLA, which is ridiculous, as it doesn't run out until January! They sent it in August I think, 6 months before it was due. The trouble is, if he comes off the Ritalin by then, I'll probably have to fill it in all over again. They should take into account changing circumstances. I wasn't going to fill it in for a couple of months still, but they wrote to me pestering for it, so I sent it back. If they pay out based on what I said there, and then he doesn't need it, I hope they don't start asking for it back, as it'll be their fault!

Sorry that I haven't been around much Mina. The Red Cross shop was extremely short of volunteers and Maureen, the manageress was snowed under so I spent most of last week either at the shop or college.

The "work up" that you describe sounds very much as though it could be an Individual Educational Plan (IEP) which a Statemented child is required to have by law.

I'm almost certain that were J to have a Statement of Special Educational Needs, then you would find applying for DLA much easier.

When one fills out those sort of forms, it is best to first photocopy them or to fill them in from notes that have been made from a list of all the things that you have to do for J. Don't forget to compare him to his peers or "normal" children of his age. It is important that you EMPHASISE the additional work and time you have to spend because of his needs. There are little things like having to spend time with him to ensure his safety, not being able to let him out to play or visit other children's homes unattended, how long it takes to get him to bed at night or ready for school in the morning. Also, whether he wakes during the night and how long this can be for.

Don't forget to photocopy your completed from before you post it off, so the next time you have to fill out a form or if you have to appeal, then you have a record of what you wrote!

I've helped a few people fill out DLA/Carer's Allowance forms and one person never remembered to do this, so the following year it was very difficult to remember what she'd said previously about her daughter.

Remember that should the DLA boffins decide that J no longer qualifies for DLA, then you have the right to appeal against their decision and it is important that you do so as soon as possible.

My hubby had to appeal to a Tribunal against the DSS for his Long Term Incapacity Benefit which was then awarded to him and the DSS got a slap on the wrist from the Tribunal too!

In fact, at the moment I have to fill out yet another benefit form to complete myself! These forms really can be headache-inducing, can't they?

Let me know how you get on with the SENS Teacher and J's DLA and if ever you need to chat at all, drop me a line and I'll Email you my phone number.

I haven't been back for a few days as I was too upset to talk about it.
In a nutshell, J was so bad the second week (don't really want to go into it ) that he's had to go back on the Ritalin. First dose last Monday, and the side effects (not sleeping and not eating) kicked in that day. I've spent the week in the worst and longest filthiest mood I've ever been in.
J seems to have picked up a bit now, eating and sleeping a bit better no, and we're trying a reduced dose from Monday, to see how he goes. And I'll be ringing the specialist so he knows he is back on it because I don't want him telling the DLA is off, and I'm going to go ahead and put this statementing in motion now.

About filling in the forms, I didn't find I needed to remember what I'd said about J last year because I can see how he is, and I jsut write that down, if you see what I mean. And he's at that age where the symptoms are more noticeable. For instance, he's at the age now where some of the other kids his age go out with older brothers and sisters, and he's invited. I can't leave him with an 11 year old! Although I trust the girl, and she looks after her brother and sister really well, and the park is only a 5 minute walk, she wouldn't be able to cope with J if he had a tantrum, or decided to wander off somewhere. I know all kids are quick to move if you turn your back, but he's like quicksilver! I blink and he's gone! It's things like that that show more as he gets older.

Poor you! I wish that I lived nearer, so that I could help or at least give moral support (Someone you can rant to about things at least!). You have my Email address and if you'd like me to phone you (my calls are relatively cheap as I get them via Sky Talk), I can phone you for a chat.

I know how you feel about J running off as my son, Chris used to have tantrums in the middle of shops (curling up on the floor in a ball whilst screaming his head off) and they were terrible. You're quite right to keep J under your constant supervision as even a very mature eleven-year-old would be unable to cope with him in "full flood" and you would never forgive yourself were something untoward to happen. At times, I have trouble coping with the little lad with ADD that visits our house to play with Chris (or rather Chris's toys, as Chris doesn't really interact that much).

Do you get the lower, or middle rate DLA for J? Chris receives the middle rate DLA, with the lower mobility allowance because he is unable to go anywhere unsupervised.

Keep the specialist on your side and let him know what's going on because he will be able to help you push for J's Statement and might even assist you to ensure that the wording for the support specified therein is appropriate for J.

What ever happens, please don't let the b*****ds grind you down.

To get past the Educational Psychologist, the SENS teacher and the school, phone your Local Education Authority and ask to speak to J's Educational Psychologist's boss and tell them that you want him Statemented as soon as possible because his education and welfare are at stake and if there's any delay, you will take the matter to a tribunal.

Write down all the matters you want to address first so that you have them in front of you and don't forget them. Tell them of the difficulties you've experienced with getting your son Statemented because of an alleged "waiting list" and that this is their problem, not yours.

Don't forget to note of the name and job title of the person to whom you speak and their mailing address so you can confirm your telephone conversation in writing. Also, send any letters/correspondence Recorded Delivery (This is only a small additional cost and is extremely useful.).

Chin up me old fruit!

I will do all this. I've also been given the number of a teacher (who works with children that would be in prison if they were adults) by a collegue whose daughter is statemented as well, apparently he will be able to help me with things like the wording as well. I'm happy that I have such good friends to help me.

J's tantrums aren't inward like you son's (inward being a term simply to describe curling up on the floor) they are more outward, jumping about, waving arms and legs about, flinging himself from room to room...
It's funny, but my mum was a childminder, and I saw her get such good results by simply not accepting arguing, telling the kids then making sure they did what she told them that I followed this with the same treatment with J. When he was smaller, I used to think that I had an angel, and I know all mums say that, but he did not have a naughty bone in his body.I always knew that there was something slightly different about him, he wouldn't sit still for a cuddle was the main reason. He liked his routines, even as a small baby, and was always more settled if things stayed the same. He talked quite late, but apparently his dad did too, so I don't know if that was related.

The trouble only started when he went to playschool, I had to pick him up 15 minutes early when they sat the children down to get them calmed down for going home, and shoes and coats on. He just couldn't sit still. Eventually he was able to be left until leaving time.
There was the odd incident over the 2 1/2 years there of a punch flying, but nothing major until he went to school, when it was pretty much constant. The odd thing was I'd got in touch with Child Guidance about him in the summer before he started school, they interviewed me, but didn't want to see him. They suggested I take him to a toddler taming group, which I investigated. It was for 2 year olds! The health visitor saw him, pronounced him not needing taming and went on her way. I was left feeling like I was making a fuss over nothing. So can you imagine my relief (and horror of course) when he went on to school and drew blood pretty much constantly for the first 3 months?
I was right about him! It's only the structured form that school takes that he seems to have trouble with, he loses concentration without the ritalin and then starts poking the other kids about. Which is where the trouble is. Although the teacher was impressed when he did his maths in 10 minutes on the Ritalin!

Anyway, I'm not sure why I told you all that old history, but it did feel good.
I'll stick to h2g2 for now, as I'm hopeless at replying to emails. At least here it's in front of me all the time!
And thanks for your offer to chat. If I need to, I'll take advantage. I'm going to get things moving tomorrow, and I'm not going it put it off 'to see how he goes' any longer.

J gets the same disability as your son, the middle care and low motability.

I'm only too glad to be able to help (if only in a small way) Mina and I find your history of J interesting. Besides, it probably gives you a chance to think it over again by writing things down (This usually helps me anyhow!).

I'm so glad that you've found some support and someone to help you with the paperwork too!

Autistic tantrums aren't always "inward" and I suppose that we have been "fortunate" that Chris's tantrums weren't that way. My brother-in-law's daughter who is at a lower functioning end of the autistic spectrum than Chris, smashes herself against walls and furniture (she seems oblivious to pain and has severely burned herself on radiators or even a fire guard in the past). She is also very destructive and aggressive toward other children and at the age of six, doesn't communicate at all. It is very stressful for John's brother and his wife, who also have a second daughter with higher-functioning autism to contend with.

From what you've said about J's history, it sounds as though your Health Authority and the LEA have both severely failed J.

J's need for quiet and routine in his life could indicate that he might have other difficulties as well as ADD. Has "Displays tendencies of autism or Asperger's Syndrome." ever been mentioned by any of the reports you've read and has anyone that specialises in the autistic spectrum ever seen him? I've never met J, so please don't take worry about this , after all, you're his mum so you know him best and I'm not a specialist.

I've only mentioned it because, at the age of three, Chris was originally diagnosed as having a "pragmatic speech disorder and learning difficulties". I even attended classes run by our Health Authority that taught me how to practice speech therapy with Chris, as well as attending numerous frustrating Speech & Language Therapy sessions during which he refused to cooperate and spent most of his time rolling on the floor or climbing over and under furniture.

When Chris was four, I found myself listening to BBC Radio 4's "Woman's Hour" during National Autistic Awareness Week, which aired an interview with the mother of a boy with autism, who described the symptoms of her son's behaviour that were a mirror image of Chris's. It was as if a light bulb had been switched on in my head! Following this, I made an appointment with Chris's Educational Physiologist where I mentioned that John and I thought Chris had autism and on looking through her original notes, she said brightly, "Oh yes! I have it here that Chris displays autistic symptoms!"

Naturally, I wanted to know why not one of the many so-called Psychology Team that had seen Chris hadn't mentioned autism and I was told, "I didn't want to upset you and we don't like to give children labels..." No doubt, you can imagine what my reaction was to this (bearing in mind that I had blamed Chris's poor behaviour on myself, thinking that I was a terrible mother).

There then followed a long and protracted battle that lasted the best part of a year, with the LEA to get the words "Christopher is autistic" and not "Displays autistic tendencies" in his Statement. To get our way, we demanded that a qualified independent specialist in autism diagnose Chris and the LEA had to comply and pay for this. We were then able to have this specialist's report included in Chris's Statement.

We also had yet another battle to have "Requires a high level of individual support" as opposed to the LEA's "Requires a higher level of support than normal", which was so vague, it was like saying "How long is a piece of string?"

When we did get the Statement right, we then had to battle to gain Chris a placement in an autistic provision because, in spite of having the Statement, Chris's school (which was the very first one to fail an OFFSTED report in the UK) pooled the additional funding they received for Chris and didn't spend it on a support teacher for him. (To this day, we haven't been able to find out why or hold anyone responsible.)

Instead, Chris's eight-year-old sister was supervising him at break times whilst his class teacher refused to acknowledge his autism and actually asked me if it was okay to leave him curled up in a tantrum whilst she got on with the rest of the class!

Things came to a head when, not for the first time, Chris was bullied and his sister (who's teacher had refused to allow her out from her class early to supervise Chis) found him covered in blood having been rolled down a concrete bank by so-called "normal" children. As there was no member of staff present, she had to carry her brother into the school to the office for first aid. When I collected Chris from school that afternoon, he had a puncture wound to the back of his head and we had to take him to A&E for treatment.

At this point, we withdrew Chris from mainstream schooling and had a huge row with the school and LEA. They threatened us with legal action for not sending our son to school and we in turn threatened the them with legal action for failing our son and not providing a safe environment for him. Subsequently, as if by magic, a place was found for Chris at a local autistic unit, where he positively blossomed.

We had even involved our local MP with our battle, but to be honest she was about as much use as a piece of limp celery...

There have been more battles regarding Speech Therapy and the LEA wanting to introduce Chris to mainstream secondary provision, most of which is on-going but I won't tire you with these!

I'll shut up now, as I must be boring you with my own tale, when you have enough problems of your own to contend with and shall hand the reigns of my computer over to my impatient teenage-mutant-sulk-a-lot who is impatiently pacing up and down as she wants to update her website!

This wasn't boring at all, it was very interesting, expecially the bits where you demand the wording is specific and not so general. I'll remember all this.

Because of J's liking of routine and dislike of cuddling, I did wonder if he had a very mild form of Autism when he was younger, I'd never heard of AS at the time. But to be honest, I don't think he has. He's very communicative, sometimes he won't shut up! His tantrums are very easy to deal with, but I put this down to the fact that I didn't teach him to have them unlike other mothers. You know what I mean, saying no, then letting the kid bug you and bug you, and then giving in for a quiet life, so they learn if they keep on they get what they want. I've seen it. I've got friends with children with no problems behave worse than J. One of my mates tells her kids no, watches them do it anyway, then has a go when they've finished making a mess/broken it whatever. And then once, unbelievably, she turned to me and said 'they never do what I say'!!
Of course, I'm not perfect, I sometimes say oh alright then! (Especially when I'm on h2g2! ) But it is over silly things.

Of course, I haven't really looked into autism, but then we gets letters from the specialist saying that he doesn't display all of the symptoms of ADHD, so to be honest, I think he's got a lack of concentration, for whatever reason, and ADHD is the nearest thing they can name him with. There is no doubt the Ritalin works. It's not just a case of make him behave for the teacher. He makes more complicated lego models, reads comics for longer, and will often ask to play with playdough or something similar. It's the other changes that I don't like, and to me it's not worth it. I had J's problems when I was his age. I remember running away from school in the infants because I hated it so much, and was always under the welfare department. Things eventually worked out for me at 14 and I had two final years of struggle, but at a private boarding school costing the social services £3000 a term. I'm sure J is worth that! (I had emotional difficulties as well, but the point is, I had people trying to work things out for me, although not the one to one I probably needed at least once a week) If he gets proper help NOW, hopefully he will be able to work on his own by the time he gets to secondary school, and won't have the struggle I did. Sometimes I wish he had less ability and more concentration. While not a genius, he's perfectly able to cope with the work. Then I feel bad for wishing him other than he is.


You've been doing me a lot of good. I hope I've been doing the same for you. I'd love to meet you and your son.

Don't feel guilty for wishing that J might be different.

My position is occasionally opposite to yours, as I often feel guilty for wondering whether Chris would be so sweet were he "normal". In spite of his being 11 year's old, he has maintained a childish innocence about him and is such a little sweetie that I could eat him!

Chris loves making models with K-Nex that are so detailed, I couldn't possibly attempt them. What's more, they work too! His drawing is still very childish, but he spends ages putting details into the plane's, trains and cars that he draws (He's obsessed with modes of transport!).

It's been a pleasure chatting to you too and yes, it does do me good because I feel as though I'm sharing my experiences with someone who they might be able to help.

By the way, I sent you an Email this morning with a picture of myself, my mum-in-law, Joyce and Chris that was taken only a couple of month's ago (I was staying with Joyce to look after her following her hip replacement operation).

Perhaps the next time there is a hootoo meet-up, we can get together. You attended the most recent one in London, didn't you? It's a bit far for me to travel (I live in Co. Durham), but I'd love to make the effort one time, so I could meet everyone.

J's got a little character all of his own. Because he socialises more with adults because they are easier for him to understand he can be very grown up, or rather, says grown up phrases.

I saw your email! As I'm appalling at answering them I didn't answer it, but you look very young to have a teenage daughter.

If you do come down, you can stay with me, but it's getting a little more crowded everytime. We can all squash in together though, we all know each other!

I got involved in doing housework and stuff today and totally forgot about getting in touch with J's specialist. I don't know what's the matter with me. Subconsciously putting it off, or just absent minded? I don't know. Tomorrow for sure!

Thanks for the offer of accommodation and I'd love to take you up on it!

Thanks for saying that I look young! That's made my day! I was 44 last July and boy am I feeling my age and I've had to stop running due to arthritis in my knees and hips, my eyesight is playing up and I'm going grey! I still weight train and practice Yoga though...

My mum says that I should give in gracefully to aging, but I'm going to be dragged kicking and screaming all the way over the hill!

I think you're doing what I do, and subconsciously find other things to do in order to put off something unpleasant. You'll feel better once you do get round to it though!

Good luck!

Don't be too thrilled with the accomodation until you see it! It's a very small house, and seems to get smaller with each meet up! It's also not in London, so we still ahve to get there and back, but at least the train fare is cheaper than a B&B up there.

I've spoken to someone at the specialist's office, and they said that J doesn't need statementing as he doesn't actually have any learning difficulties. I spoke to the SENCO at school, and she said the same, that it would take 2 years, and he still wouldn't get it.
But we had a good chat, and she's going to find me the number of a man that she saw at a lecture a few months ago that tutors the kids to learn to go inside their minds and teach themselves to get control.
That sounds very good, apparently it's a private thing, but I can use J's DLA for that if it looks good. Apparently J tells her that something in his head tells him to do these things (when he's violent), so I'm not sure what that's all about.
I'm undecided if I should take her word about the statementing, but as someone else said that ADHD alone is not going to get it for me, and supposedly he doesn't show all the symptoms of that anyway I don't know if I should follow it up.
Apparently J gets a lot of classroom support, the teaching assistants go in and home in on any of the kids needing help, but she is wary of making him too dependant on other people. I know what she means, I try to make sure that J decides to do somethings himself, like homework. Although I help by saying no TV or playstation untill it's done, he normally goes and plays with toys, and then comes and does it. But on the other hand, I don't want him to become dependant on the Ritalin, so he's taking it all his life. Ever watch ER? A junior Doctor Lucy was still on that as her doctor was prescribing it in her 20s! I'm sure that wouldn't happen here, but I don't want it to become a possibility.

Phew! Made it back to hootoo at last! The Red Cross shop's Manageress was off sick for a few days and I was covering for her. I'll be there again tomorrow too, as she's on leave!

I don't watch ER although I understand that a certain is well worth watching it for...

Don't worry about me worrying about cramped accommodation! You're conversing with someone who has lived in a cross between a building site/menagerie/toy shop for the past ten years and I'll be quite happy as long as I'm within dashing distance of a loo and washing facilities! (Nowadays, my bladder goes into panic mode as soon as I'm any respectable distance from a loo!)

I find it curious that your contacts say that J doesn't require a Statement, as my neighbour's son with ADD has been Statemented and is now attending Christopher's old junior special needs school (in a non-autistic provision). Still, I suppose every case if different although were I you, I'd seek a second opinion before going down a fee-paying route.

Besides, J's DLA is to accommodate inconvenience and additional living expenses, not to pay for private medical treatment that your local health authority/LEA should be funding.

Still, it's good to know that J has a good deal of support in class.

In the end, you're J's mother and know him better than anyone else (including the teachers and specialists).

Is J still not sleeping at nights due to the Ritalin? I remember well what it used to be like with Chris being up all hours of the night. He's been much better since I adopted the policy of letting him run till he drops, rather than trying to get him settled into bed early. It was worth it, just to get an uninterrupted night's sleep!

I must admit that I would be worried about Chris remaining on Ritalin into adulthood and sympathise with your concerns regarding J's long-term medication.

I've been a bit quiet, as J had a bit of a ruckus last week, and grabbed hold of the teacher in a temper. Then kicked another kid when the teacher walked away. This worked out to a letter from the headmaster telling me his behaviour had reached an unacceptable level and if it carried on they would have to consider expelling him.

Imagine my reaction, go on, see if you can.

Anyway, had a meeting with him, laid into him about the letter, then calmed down and had a really good chat.
They are going to monitor his behaviour until my next specialist appointment in February, write to the specialist, and hopefully invite him into the school to observe him in the place where he has most trouble - the classroom. They are happy to keep him on the reduced dose of Ritalin to see how he goes, and are happy to see me try to get him off it.
If he's still struggling with his bahaviour by February, they are going to push for a statement for him.

After being told he wasn't bad enough for a statement, and then being told he was possibly too bad to keep in their school, that was good news, as otherwise it didn't make any sense at all. He can't be both! The headmaster doesn't think he is bad enough to be statemented atm, but hopefully closer observation will help.

And a new kid with ADHD (I've been told) is in Jacob's class on Tuesdays. He'll be starting full time soon. He has his own Special Needs Teacher....

Mina...

You must try to find out where an independent (from the LEA) specialist is and have him observe J, preferably at school. This is what we did with Chris, although our specialist met Chris at the children's hospital where he was based and then observed him at home and on several occasions, at school. It really sounds as though either the specialist that currently sees J and the SENS staff at the school are both working to a hidden agenda that has been set by the LEA (ie: their budget). Don't trust anyone related to the LEA at all...

As you say, in spite of the trauma of the past week, you're quite justified to slip into smug, "I told you so" mode. Cor! I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be in the Headmaster's shoes when you first met him regarding his letter! Still, being that annoyed has served a purpose and it looks as though you might actually now be getting somewhere at last. The best thing would be to stay angry, don't worry about people's feelings and bugger the lot 'em!

Now, this new kid with ADHD (as you've been told), if he has a Special Needs Teacher, then HE MUST BE STATEMENTED!!! This is what's commonly known as "setting a precedent" and you should use this to your advantage.

By the way, I have noticed (but not yet dropped by) on your University Project "Wildlife Gardening". Congratulations! Fame at last!

Having chatted to the mother on Monday evening a bit, it's not a teacher, but a helper. Not sure if that makes a difference. She didn't mention if he was statemented, and so I didn't want to ask, but I did tell her she was entitled to DLa and carers allowance. She was pleased and angry as no one had told her before. Pleased that she might get some money of course.

and lo and behold, J has come home with stickers for good behaviour 5 times in the last 6 schooldays. so the school know nothing!

Apologies for my extended absence Mina!

Family commitments and battling with my son and daughter for access to the computer are just a couple of excuses.

How are you? Has there been any progress with J's provision at school?

He is getting on fine at school atm, he's still on the ritalin, but a lower dose.
They are still observing atm, and will continue to do so until his next appointment with the specialist in February. He's had a lot of disruption at his school the lst few weeks, as his teacher had a miscarriage and then got a stomach bug, and so was away for nearly three weeks. He seemed to cope fine, but they don't always tell me about his behaviour unless it is particularly bad. J was very glad to see his teacher back, and ran to her and hugged her. Rather meanly I said to my other half, that explains her comments at the parents meeting about not wanting me to try to get J off the Ritilin before his SATs in May. She would have known she was pregnant, and also known that she would not be there by then. In the circumstances, that was harsh, but she has so much time off that I wonder why she bothers having a job where children rely on her.

I'm lucky I don't have to fight J for pc access yet, he doesn't want to use it more than about once a week. When he starts wanting to use it every day, he'll get his own!