h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mina, I just wondered whether you'd like to join Sho, GB (GB mentioned that you might like to join in), myself and others here, which is a mutual drooling over sci-fi characters thread for a bunch of immature and sadly disturbed females... 8-) http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F42604?thread=139168&post=1293696#p1293696 We're also trying to discuss how to get a picture of a rather hunky sci-fi chap to your 'puter...Do you have any ideas? By the way, I read your journal entry regarding your son's first day at school without Ritalin. How are things going? My son is autistic and has just started at his secondary special needs provision, following a long and protracted battle with our Local Education Authority, who wanted to "integrate" him into mainstream schooling .

Ooh, yes, I'd love to join in.

My email address is [email protected], and I'm dying to see this bloke.

J's second day wasn't quite so good, but still early days yet, I had a good chat with the teacher last night, we're going to have a brief one next Friday, and then again the week after to discuss it. He's lost some of his concentration, and this is a SAT year apparently, so he really needs to be able to learn. I'm keeping my fingers crossed anyway!
As J is in a mainstream school - he hasn't got all the symptoms of ADHD, so I'm not sure if he's diagnosed or not to be honest - so I'm not sure of the troubles you face, but I think that mother's know their own children best. They should take that into account when placing children.

An Email containing a couple of pics and a link to a drool-worthy web site is winging it's way to you as I type this Mina.

At the next meeting regarding your son's education you attend, demand that your son to be independently assessed by a specialist and don't be fobbed of with the expression, "We don't like to give children labels.". This is an excuse frequently used by many LEAs not to spend money on support staff for your son. You may find the specialist's report helpful in either obtaining or, if you already have one, including in a Statement of Special Educational Needs. Having a Statement (if you don't already have one for your son) opens many doors for support (ie: a classroom assistant especially to help your son stay on task) within either at a mainstream or special school.

If your son is Statemented, you may be able to claim Disability Living Allowance for him as well. This in turn may entitle you to a Carer's Allowance and additional increments to any State Benefits you may be claiming. Also, Carer's receive rebates on Council Tax bills, which is something that local Governments keep very quiet!

If there's anything I can do to help in way of offering advice, please Email me.

Thanks, I got the email, definitely wortha bit of drooling!

Thanks for the advice as well, I only heard of Statements through AGB, and I asked at the time, apparently he doesn't need it. Although I might ask again, especially if it means that he can come off Ritalin in the classroom. If it seems that the teacher needs him on it, I'll ring his specialist and ask him again.
I am lucky enough that one of the supply teachers at his school took me aside and mentioned to me that I could get DLA if he was on Ritalin, as the specialist certainley didn't tell me, and I'm forever grateful to her. Although sometimes I think the money should go to someone more needy, it means I can have a car without worrying about the cost too much, and when he pours all my toiletries down the toilet I don't sit in floods of tears. (Although he hasn't done that for nearly a year.)

I looked into the carers part, but as I'm also lucky enough to work for my dad part time I get Working Families Tax Credit full rate, and when I worked it out (I'd get all my council tax and rent paid), I couldn't actually do any better on carers. And I'd be bored when he's at school. Working for my dad means I can choose my hours, and if I don't always make 16 hours per week, it's not mentioned.

What I didn't realise was that he could stay in his main stream school and have a classroom assistant, that would be very helpful if he was off Ritalin. Thanks, I'll bear that in mind.

Well done for all that you have done so far Mina and keep pressing as hard as you can with your LEA and get your son Statemented. If he's on Ritalin, is entitled to DLA and his teacher can't cope with him, then he obviously should have a Statement of Special Educational Needs. Your LEA is being true to form by trying to cut their costs. By law, if a Statement says that your son should have support within his classroom, then they will have to supply the school with the additional money to pay for it. As you say, if your son has this, then he may be able to come off Ritalin, which he shouldn't be taking just to make the teacher's life easier.

You've obviously done the right thing re the Carer's Allowance, but bear in mind that you're entitled to earn up to £72 per week and still claim an allowance (I'm not sure about the hours though, but could find out).

I have been offered part time employment a few times recently from various sources, which would have unfortunately entailed loosing my Carer's Allowance. At the time I did phone the Benefits Agency advice line and was informed that I'd be worse off. Besides, with my hubby John being ill, he wouldn't be able to look after Chris during school holidays or illnesses, so logistically it is rather difficult to make any commitments to an employer.

However, in claiming ICA I do have a first class National Insurance stamp paid on my behalf and believe that were I to work part time, I would loose this and at my ripe old age of 44, one has to start thinking about one's pension entitlements.

John and I have found the Disability Rights Commission to be an excellent source of information in the past regarding John's long term Incapacity Benefit, Chris's DLA, Statement and my entitlement to a Carer's Allowance.

The Disability Rights Commission issue a very helpful book that you might be interested in and you should be able to order a copy from either them or via your local public library.

If you require any further information about this organisation, I can Email you their web site address and phone number.

This is really useful, I thought carers was only £50 a week! As I earn more than that working, then I get that topped up, it really didn't seem worth it. The trouble with taking it, is how strict are they about working? Because even if I stopped working, every now and then my dad needs my help to cover work, and I'd worry that I'd then be 'fiddling'.
Would you mind emailing me that info? The reason I like talking about these things is that other people often put words to things in my head that are formless. Do you know what I mean? I really don't want J back on the ritalin unless he gets violent again, and the only other reason he really needs it is to curb his impulsivity, but he is learning. The teacher needs to learn just as much as J, to learn how to deal with him. Of course, easy for me to say, I've got one child, not 26.

I'll Email you the information you need Mina.

Thank you!

I hope that the information is of use/help to you and please Email me if there's anything further I can do to help.

By the way, it may be tough on the teacher if J comes off Ritalin, but remember that it is NOT your problem; it's the LEA's so don't feel guilty. If the teacher can't cope with him, then perhaps the LEA will admit that J should be Statemented and get him a classroom assistant to keep him on-task.

There is no stigma to having J Statemented or being given a label if it helps him to achieve the education that he's entitled to. By not giving J the assistance he needs, the LEA are failing him and you could even threaten them with a Tribunal (we did when we challenged our son Chris's Statement which was so vague, it could have been made of mist!). Believe me, nothing kicks an LEA into action than the threat of a Tribunal as it costs them a fortune (but you don't have to pay a penny!).

Yes, it was very helpful of you to send it. I've only skimmed it so far, I'll look over properly it when I have more time. But it all looks very useful.
I had another chat with the teacher today, and mentioned statementing, but she said there were a lot of other children in the school that were first on the list and they needed it more. I just thought to myself, maybe their mother's aren't as pushy as me! She's going to talk to the special needs teacher, but I'm going to wait a few weeks before I speak to the specialist about it.
She's doing well, she's really listening to me, and I make sure I listen to her as well. Together we should get something done.

Please, for your son's sake don't be fobbed off with the old story of a waiting list! Go for it Mina and be as pushy as you can (if other children's parents aren't pushy enough, then that is not your fault). Ask yourself why are these other kids all waiting too? There is probably a waiting list because the LEA haven't got their act together and aren't coughing up sufficient funding. All of this is the LEA's problem and not yours. They are failing your son with their negligence. Don't feel guilty about pushing - it is your right as a parent of a child with special needs. Why not try to find a support group, join it and get someone who is experienced in dealing with LEAs to accompany you to the next meeting? John and I have twice had the leader of our local Autistic Support Group attend meetings with us and she has proved an invaluable source of information and support.

Try to get the specialist on your side, tell her your concerns and ask whether she can help you push for J to be Statemented. You can demand that any report the specialist produces regarding your son incorporated into his Statement, especially if it states that your son requires classroom support.

Anyhow, I wish you the Best of British, as from my experience you will definitely need it. Keep in touch and do please let me know how you get on.

I don't think there are any support groups around here. There is a SNAP, but that only goes up to 5 years old. They are visiting my son's school soon, I'll make sure I go to see them. And thanks for all you're doing for me.

I'm not doing anything, you're the one with all the hard work...

Try looking on the Internet to see whether there is a national network of support groups. They may be able to help you, or put you in touch with a local group.

You're giving me ideas, and suggestions that I hadn't thought of. The benefit of your experiences and things you must have gone through, and I'm very gratfeful for it. Today is the day where I get told if she wants J back on Ritalin. I'm going to push for the whole two weeks though, not one and a half if she says yes, put him back on it. She thinks two broken weeks won't do him any good, but I think she can take another few days.

Do let me know how you got on Mina...

I away! She was lurking at the back of the entrance hall while the kids were coming out, I hung around for a couple of minutes then just wandered off so she couldn't tell me to put him back on it. I'm such a coward!

No you're not! You just need a to brace yourself...

Actually what it sounds as though you really do need is someone from a local support group or another parent who has more experience in dealing with the LEA who could come with you to the school.

Is there anyone that you can think of who might be able to help, Mina?

In the meantime, I'll have a look through my Disability Rights handbook as they have a very useful section at the back that lists contact addresses of various organisations.

By the way, have you ever heard of an organisation called "The Family Fund"? They give grants to families of disabled/special needs children for either holidays or household items such as washing machines, etc...

If it wasn't for this organisation, we could never afford to take our children anywhere during the school holidays because the price of everything is so expensive nowadays.

There is a woman at ths school who is part of the local Snap group, her child has AS, so I might grab her and have a chat when the Snap group are at the school. Maybe they have details of something for the over 5s.
I've been giving J Rosemary tea, as that's supposed to be good for concentration, calming, and good for short term memory. He won't drink a lot of it, but I also put essential oil in the water I spray his hair with in the morning (it sticks up all over the place as it's long for a boy, thick, and curly!), and today I've put some of the oil on his jumper around his neck to see how that goes. Probably a bit of overkill, but I'll see how he goes with it.
One day last week J wouldn't do any work at school, and the teacher sent it home as it was important. When I finally got him to sit and do it - only took 40 mins! - he did it in 20 minutes. So the only problem is his concentration. He needs something to make it interesting for him.
I'm starting to make it part of his routine when he gets in from school that he does his homework before he gets to put the TV on. On the days that he hasn't got any, I've bought a book to practise his english in, as that's where he's lagging a bit. I'm hoping that the good habits he'll be learning at home ie to get his work done so he can then play, will rub off at school.

I forgot to say, no I didn't know about that family fund. I've had a couple of local charities pay for a few bits and pieces for me over the last few years, as I really couldn't manage without.
I wonder if they'll help me out with my fences? I'm waiting for permission from the council to erect the biggest fences I can find around my garden due to the constant harrasment by the neighbours in the form of a stream of made up and exagerated complaints to the council. I was wondering how I was going to pay for them when I do get permission. Maybe these people will help out with something like that?