h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yep, me again. Don't worry, I'm got going to drag you through despair twice in 24 hours

A little while ago, there was a small earthquake in the Fox Islands, off Alaska, measuring 3.5 on the Richter scale. In fact, since I got up this morning, there have been three in the area as well as a couple each in South and Central America. As I type my browser shakes, letting me know that there has been another one in the San Francisco area - not as powerful as the one that hit Trinidad just before I went to work, though.

I know all this because I found a great little plug-in to my Firefox browser that tells me every time there is an earthquake in the world and shakes the screen. More powerful quakes shake the screen more violently than little tremors. When the screen shakes, I can click on a little link that tells me more about it. The San Francisco one is at http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/recenteqsww/Quakes/nc40193843.php if you're in the slightest bit interested, and the report gets a little more embellished as the seismologists get more information. In the last couple of days, I feel I've become something of an earthquake connoisseur.

Not only that, but I've found a few other things too.

A plug-in that lets me control Windows Media Player from within my browser. No more clicking from application to application, I can surf and DJ simultaneously.

Something that checks my spelling as I type, anywhere, in proper British English.

One that I click on to get a 'Daily Dilbert' - a new cartoon strip every day.

A new button on my toolbar that plays MC Hammer's 'Happy Time' every time I hit the 'Stop' button'.

A 'Bork Text' plug-in, that lets me instantly see any text in the accent of the Swedish chef from the Muppets. For example, the current h2g2 talking point would be relayed by the Swedish chef thus: 'Telkeeng Pueent: Ere-a Yuoo Heppy? Ere-a yuoo es cheerffool es thees bluke-a here-a? Iff nut, vhy nut? Help us googe-a zee muud ooff zee h2g2 neshun in oooor Telkeeng Pueent.' The new spellcheck loves this. Sometimes, a random 'Bork, bork, bork' appears in captions for not reason other than to make me laugh.

Sometimes, I feel I have far too much time on my hands. Little tiny clever things impress me so easily...

FoxyTunes rocks! But it doesn't hold a candle to 'Bork Text' which is, I feel, the reason the internet was invented.

'Fur uny oozeer cumments, pleese-a cleeck oon zee Feedbeck boottun ebofe-a. Bork Bork Bork!'

I can't possibly relate to anyone how funny I find that

I for one fully understand your mirth. Tis a great thing.

You two need to find something better to do with your spare time

I have an RSS subscription with the USGS - Alaska is the place to go, isn't it? The Fox and Unimak Islands are shaking the whole time!

I've been looking for holidays to the Fox Islands, but apparently package tours don't go there. The lady on the phone was quite rude about it all

It would certainly make a great honeymoon destination, lots of scope for 'did the earth move for you' type jokes.

I'm astounded as to how many earthquakes there are each day, and some of them are pretty big.

Yes, I can see *exactly* why you think it's a great spot for a honeymoon. Yes indeed.

*Skanky lights cigarette*

'How was that for you, love?'

'Oh, about a 5.2...'


I can't imagine getting a response like that anywhere but an earthquake zone. Even if it was marks out of ten instead of Richters

I found a few tips for "how to survive an earthquake" (but none on "how to survive a night of passion with Skanky, sorry!)

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zdt

very good!