Population control

The usual response to overcrowding is to limit the number of births. Some people don't like that. Things like that can lead to Herod, and look how that turned out (quite well actually, bad point). Anyway, as an eco-friendly alternative, would it not be possible to counteract the effects of overcrowding by not, as so often advocated, reducing the number of people but by, obviously, reducing the people themselves?
Smaller people take up less space. Simple physical laws, everyone knows that. So, if everyone has a maximum weight of, say, eight stone, everyone should have more room to manoeuvre. Stands to reason. This then is my response to the problems of overcrowding. Not fewer people; less people.
But it doesn't stop there. Oh, no. There are side-effects. In a world where everyone has a maximum weight lower than what may currently considered average there should be no demand for all the protein powders and weight gain products. They just shouldn't be necessary. So, to avoid waste, why not dissolve them where possible into freshwater lakes and rivers? Why not?
By adding the weight gain products to the water it is possible that fish may begin to grow heavier as the products enter their system. Not only does this provide bigger, meatier fish but it also causes greater displacement of the water. Controlled carefully this could enable the creation of whole new areas of fertile floodplain to the benefit of agriculture. With people slimming down, and food production increasing there may be enough for everyone eventually.
Furthermore, for those without the willpower to slim quickly enough (set targets may be a weight percentage or a fixed poundage over a fixed time, who knows?)there could be enforced weight loss, with the physical removal of fat from the body. Suck it out. Here we have a natural and free source of energy to relieve some of the pressures from fossil fuels. A short term measure to be sure, but every little helps.
There we have the benefits of a new approach to the dangers of overcrowding. I hope that you take these ideas on board, ruminate for seven minutes and return part boiled and revitalised to your chosen place of work. And if ever you feel the urge to laugh at short people just think, they could be the future of humanity.


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Geoff Regan

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