h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Pizza (Pizza is like sex: even if it's not that special. It's still pretty good)"

and you just phone up and some bloke brings it round?

...or you can go to a special houses that sells them.

Have you ever looked in those ratty cars the pizza guys drive? Better to pick it up than have it ride to your house in s "roach coach!"

You can legally enjoy pizza at any age and with anyone you want. Generally, when you feel like pizza, you can have it within minutes (well, anyways, tens of minutes), and anytime you want. The single user option does not degrade the pleasure of the experience in anyway. Beer can enhance the overall experience, and liberal consumption of beer can even give you a very special aftertaste of the pizza, combined with your own stomach fluids.

Pizza related crimes are almost non-existent. Unless you take into count pizza-delivery men trimming the population by applying free will liberally to the local driving rules. And the occasionaly beating of a pizza delivery man. And the occasional 'I-won't-pay-for-this-cold-pizza' haggle.

If you have pizza with someone else, you can usually come to an agreement on the exact details of the pizza (types of meats, vegetables and products thereof). If this agreement can not be reached, the pizza can be split, each consenting partner then enjoying pizza the way he or she wants.

Two types of meat stand out as pizza options, the pepperoni and the ham. One is cut up sausage and other is slices of pig rear ends.
Am I the only one who notices any Freudian implication? Cut up sausage clearly states a male's envy of his father's reproduction organs and the desire of each male to kill his father. Sliced pig rear ends are obviously products of the female desire to have an attractive posterior, and the desire to 'trim those lines'.