h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

NARRATOR: Enraptured by the lovely welcoming and the cool fragrant lushness resting heavily upon thier necks and shoulders, the travellers do not at first notice the piece of paper lying at their feet...


IMPORTANT INFO FOR THE MUSA AFICIONADO

http://ntbg.org/gardens/kahanu-plantcol.php

Mai‘a, Musa sp. or banana, is in the Musaceae, or Banana family.
Early Hawaiians ate bananas as a delicacy rather than a staple,
with some varieties restricted to chiefs and priests and eaten on
ceremonial occasions. This is an especially important conservation
collection, as many Hawaiian banana cultivars are being lost due
to diseases, pests, and development.

http://ntbg.org/plants/plant_details.php
http://www.wnbc.com/producepete/9454599/detail.html
http://www.mindspring.com/~miessau/bananas/index.htm

*Aximili blushes hotly, and by the look of it the Librarian is doing the ape equivalent*

That was lovely. (Happy bends her neck to admire the lei a moment.)

Bananas only for priests and chieftans, eh?

(Looks over at the Librarian who has produced a pencil and a book with a banana design on its cover.)

And great apes, of course! Say is that your banana-tasting journal? Well then, we'd better get moving.

(The threesome make their way to the rented car, in this case, a rented jeep. The Librarian swings into shotgun with an ook, while Axi and Happy politely defer to each other for driver vs backseat.)

Ok, then. I'll drive, you take pictures of the scenery. Where do you want to go first?

Wherever the Librarian wants us to go. Librarian?

.. ... .snagging a handful of bananas from a passing dwarf banana grove, the Librarian turns and looks at Happy and Axi.. . . .

ook ookoo'k ook ook! ook ook's ook ookook ook ook ookookook. ... . holds up a sheaf of papers which blow wildly in the wind created from the wild careening of the jeep through the banana grove.. . .

http://www.localharvest.org/images/cat/prod_6354_8459.jpg

For “Buy Fresh * Buy Local” to be the most successful, local farmers must share their stories with consumers. Local farmers can connect with retailers and restaurants by participating in food and farming events or by coming into a store for a tasting event http://www.hawaiiorganicfarmers.org/newsletter9_05.htm

august 25 – 26 Hawaii Banana Industry Association Conference 2007



TRANSLATOR: i haven't a clue! but here's a poster and some literature. ... . .

Wow, look at all of these varieties of bananas. (Happy drives with one hand while waving a list in the other. The wind catches the list, but the Librarian deftly snatches the paper before it blows away.)

*
Ae Ae
African Rhino Horn
Apple Banana
Blood Banana
Brazilian/Dwarf
Burro
Cardaba
Cavendish
Cuban Apple
Golden Aromatic
Gros Michelle
HaHa
Hawaiian Black
Hua Moa
Ice Cream Banana
Jamaican Red
Kru
Lacatan
Lady Finger
Macaboo
Mahoi
Monkey Finger
Mysore
Nino
Orinoco
Orito
Praying Hands
Pysang Raja
Rajapuri
Red Iholene
Saba
Thousand Finger
Valery
Williams Hybrid
Zebrina
*

Oh, look. There's a fruit stand or farmer's market or something over there. Let's see what they have. (Happy finds a parking spot, but the Librarian does not wait for the vehicle to stop before leaping out to examine the produce.)

(Happy sets the parking brake and heads after the Librarian. Axi unfolds himself from the backseat and follows.)

Ook! (The Librarian gestures at the locally grown produce.)

"It's all organic and grown here on the islands," says the sales clerk. "Where are you folks from?"

"I'm from the mainland, but my friends are both islanders," says Happy. "Axi is from England, and the Librarian is from ... well, I don't know ... most orangutans are from Borneo or Sumatra ..." Happy's voice trails off as she frowns thoughtfully. "Nonetheless, he seems very at home here," she continues with a smile, slipping the sales clerk a $20 to cover the armload of bananas the Librarian has selected.

"What do you have there, Librarian?" The Librarian brandishes a bunch of apple bananas, some Cavendish bananas, and some Bluefields, and some Grand Nain bananas. He sits down to free up his lower hands to make notes in his banana tasting journal.

Happy tries an apple banana. "Say, these really do taste like apples, or a bit like apples. Here, try one, Axi."

. .. .happily trying one variety after another and busily taking notes at the same time.. . . .

Ook ookook ookookook ookook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ook ook ookookity ook ook ookook ookookook ook ook ook ookookook ookook ook. Ook ookookity ook, ook ookook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ookookity ook. Ook ookookook ook ook ookook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ookookity ook! Ook ookook ookookookookook. Ookook ook ook ookookity ook.

Ook ookook ookookookookook, ook ook ookook ook, ook ookookity ook ook ookook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ookookity ook. Ook ookook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ookookity ook ook ookook ookookookookook.

1. ookook ook ook ookookity ook ook ookook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ookookity ook ook ookook ookook ook ook ookookook ook ookook ookookookookook
2. ookook ook ook ookook ook ook ookookity ook ook ookook ookookookookook ookook ook ook ookookity ook ook ookook ookookook
3. ook ook...

*While sampling an apple banana, Axi trys to read over the Librarian's whoulder*

Mmm this is fantastic. You guys are so lucky to have so many types of banana here...

Overcome with curiosity, the farmer's market sales clerk siddles over to read from behind the Librarian's other shoulder. "Oh, I see," he says, "You're looking for banana varieties? You might try ONO Organic Family Farms on Maui. They do fruit-tasting tours."

"Good idea. Thank you." Happy consults a GPS unit, then says to the Librarian, "We're on the same island as the Awini Preserve and the Ka‘upulehu Preserve, both part of the National Tropical Botanical Garden. I don't know if they'll let you eat the bananas at the preserve, but maybe we can learn more about them. How about we head over to the Ka‘upulehu Preserve, then later maybe we can hop over to Maui?"

The Librarian carefully examines, smells, peels, examines again, smells again, nibbles, chews gently, swallows, writes, takes a bigger bite, writes some more, and repeats for each variety of banana. Meanwhile Happy Nerd wanders about 10 feet away and begins snapping pics of flowers.

"These hibiscus are so pretty." Happy proceeds to upload the pics. "I wouldn't mind staying here a while if that's what you guys want to do."

. ...strains of beautiful hawaiian music coming from the jeep radio sooth jetlag and convince the travellers that yes perhaps they do want to stay awhile. ... . .. http://www.hotspotshawaii.com/irhpages/irhlive.html


. .. . .all at once, Axi's and Happy's cell phones ring in unison.. . . (conference call)

"Hello, can you hear me?"

Happy, a firm believer in percussive maintenance, raps her cell phone sharply with her knuckles.

ow ow ow

. ... .static. ... . .


aaalohaaaa?

this is fluffykerfuffle... who is this? i mean haha is this Happy or Axi or both? i can't hear very well here.. ..



. ....sounds of waves breaking gently and children laughing... . .

Happy stands on the open window of the parked jeep, a coat hanger held to her cell phone to improve reception. "Yes, hello! I can hear you just fine." The Librarian gives an ook of derision at this new use of the word "fine."

oh i think its at my end... just a sec... .


. ...sounds of flipflops tramping across sand then gravel then the swish swish of grass then huff huff as fluffykerfuffle climbs a slight hill. ... .then a slight pause except for an ooo o o ooo o o o and then all of a sudden the sound of rushing water and gasping and thrashing and and... ooof ...water dripping and some more huff huffing a few ow ows and then.. . . . .

ok i think i got good reception here.... this better?

"Oh, yeah, fine. Where are you?"

i am just slightly off the coast of maui... on a surfboard... with this wonderful kahuna guy

http://www.geocities.com/Pipeline/1597/pics/tandem.jpg

thats me on top... i must confess it is a bit... ohhh... yeah... it is a bit difficult carrying on this conversation but hey... the reception's GREAT!! and he is a big kahuna isn't he!!