h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's been weeks since I posted here, but I don't have a lot to say.

Since when has that been an excuse? What have you been up to?

You mean "That's never stopped you before", don't you?

Today I was clearing out some books. Or trying to: it's a complicated jenga game: I have the two final Harry Potter books in hardback which are there to prevent a landslide. They are essentially about one cubic foot of wood. If I remove them, my bilingual dictionaries will topple over!

I saw some beautiful traditional (traditional and untraditional at the same time - you know) music, the other night - and only nearly cried once. Usually it's twice or three times when I go to see anything these days!

And has been in the wars again. I am thinking of awarding him a medal for long service or something.

Aw. Bless his heart.

We got barked at by some exuberant fox terriers this evening, over at the Eat'n'Park. That was after we came back from the Lawn Mower Tractor Pull. We're becoming very acclimated...

I've had lots of dogs, but It's different with this dog. Back when I was ill, he kept me going, and gave me a laugh (by being a hell-hound and a wee shite!) So in a way I'm glad to help him in return.

My neighbor is dogsitting a couple of little dogs. Last night he asked if the barking disturbed me. I said no, they only bark when I'm arriving home. After I get inside, they quiet down.

Crying with music, is a skilll to be proud of

not having anything to write about, or mention, is no excuss whatsoever to not post!; I've had nothign to say on here since... oo 2002? - and I've barely shut up all that time awww! poor ickle

Oh yes, and there was a story involving a penis*, an elastic band, a Swiss Army knife and a basin of iced water, which is thoroughly hilarious but probably unsuitable for here**.

*not mine
** it was a definite case of "well, I did tell you so..."

Penis jokes are always well recieved. - I've been an epic source of late for jokes from my lodger and W etc... err. for various reasons but... now... I'm curious to know this story of which you speak

Penises are quite acceptable subjects for threads around here. I remember once there was a very long one.

ooooo! I think that thread, in honer of my own penis-s ressurection, should be ressurected! hmm. erected then, if not reserrected oh dear...

I blame TC for the resserErection of a certain thread. and. for the .... content therein I'm just not safe at the moment

Ah, well, the penis story.

First of all, do we have a smiley for that nervous thing where you laugh so much your voice goes about an octave higher and you can't see out of your eyes because of the amount of water, while trying not to laugh?

Ok. Well. Anyway.

Boys, you know when you ask your girlfriend, or boyfriend, "is that a cock ring", and they say "no, it's for my hair, my ponytail"? Well, take their word for it. Seriously.

Do not ignore their advice. And definitely do NOT loop it over twice because it is "too loose".

Think sausages. You know that twisty bit where one sausage starts and the other one ends? Yes. That.

And, seriously, advice to both women and men here - if this ever happens to you
a) Don't laugh.
b) Seriously, don't laugh.
And c) Be aware that dipping the landing gear in a basin full of iced water will not help.

I was trying and just about managing to compose myself and stop laughing, when he came back into the room with his dangly bits in a wee basin of ice cubes. That's when I completely lost it. It was the most surreal thing I've ever seen.

I have to say... there is something very special about the fear that sets in when one discovers.... an experiment with.... such as described above, has lead too..... such occuring ... and tring to follow the don't panic advice, does get... tricky... Hmm. waht I mean is... well. oops.

Well, I don't know about that. I was just trying not to laugh because he was in obvious pain. It's a kind of funny thing about me - I don't always laugh (even at things I find really funny), but once I start it's hard to stop!

Oh... I'm getting more and more like that too! especially recently, when now, my brain just doesn't pick up jokes, if they're overly complicted, but, somethign at the appropiate level for a five year old, and I'm in tears of giggles pretty sure I'm gradually regressing in some respects

Why is it that the minute the word "penis" was mentioned that we got a deluge of 2legs posts?

He's got some kind of alert program...

TC's post wins "post of the thread" for my money.

Ok, so military honours for wee dogs: I can't give him a Purple Heart. He wouldn't like that. He's not entitled to a V.C. So What should I award him? He has a wee camouflage collar, and I think he's more of a commando by temperament than a good infantry man...

He wouldn't suit a fancy dress uniform. No frogging.

Maybe Star of Tintin, First Class?