h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If he finds out what kind of "porridge" I had for breakfast. A microwave was involved.

Actually, nothing Gosho could say about oats could make me feel any more ashamed than I already do. It was sludge! And the more I ate, the more I thought "Hey, this isn't too bad!"

I'm sorry.

There is a special place reserved in hell for people like you. - if that wasn't bad enough, I happen to know its right nextdoor to the special place reserved for me; its that* bad.

By the way; despite now being a US citizen, I don't kick anyone's 'ass'. Cruelty to donkeys will not be tolerated. You can have a kick up the bum, a punch up the throat or whack on the bonce.

And I presume this all relates to the Guide Entry about oats what I wrote

please please tell me it wasn't Oats So Simple?

has taken to calling proper porridge Oats So Complicated

Mr Gosho - do you ever administer a "punch up the bracket"?

Oh goodness no. If you ever catch me with a box of Oats So Simple, then I'm finished. And if you ever, *ever*, see me adding golden syrup* to porridge...well, just think of the good times, because the KB you knew long ago will be gone.

*Or sugar

I often have my old fashioned rolled oats raw and uncooked with fruit and milk.

If the donkey wants some too, it can have some.

I'm wondering about this business of "administering a punch up the bracket".

I was trying not to ask, but it's getting worse and worse in my mind!

I don't have oatmeal at all any more. Breakfast has become to complicated, with different kinds of dry cereal, dried fruits, nuts, eggs, and even salads.

A punch up the bracket Blimey, it's been a while since I heard anyone say that Possibly since the last time I listened to a certain episode or two of the highly esteemed all-leather Goon Show.

And strictly speaking, of course, it should be a punch up the froat.

my dad was an east end boy before they got bombed out and moved somewhere posh*

Fir'y fahsand fevvers on a frushe's froat...

*Finchley ()