h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello AR! I'm a great believer in tortoises. Like the onlooker, they see most of the game!!

Yes, it was a holiday for the most part. We have a Shed by the sea, and the family borrow it from time to time. As this time approaches, I feel the need to undo at least some of the mess we make when /we/ stay there, hence the scrubbing, scraping and scratching. You find all sorts of things when you do this, but I was meant for Higher Things.

How are you, healthwise, as 'twere? How d'you enjoy the heat? Not that it's all that plentiful today, of course! We've got those beastly microflies which drift onto one's skin and ITCH, and that's shouting. We had them at the other house at harvesttime, but we never had them here in the last ten/twelve years at least.

Take care. Dig

Where are you, AlsoRan? Should I be worried? Or apologise?

Dig

My dear S.D.

I am so sorry but I have been "off" line due to the fact that I am crazy about sport and the

OOYMPIC GAMES
STARTED LAST FRIDAY

I appear to be the only researcher on Hootoo who is interested and I have spent most of the time glued to the TV. I now have square eyes, but have loved everymoment of it.

When Iwas young I trained for three years in order to have a chance to go to the 1948 Olympic games in London. I was a swimmer but unfortunately the powers that be in South Africa decided not to send a women's team as they needed to pay for a chaperone as well.Boring tale recounted elsewhere!!

The result was that no women were chosen - yet two of us would have got into the finalsof our particular race in London on the time we did on our trials in south africa,. !!

However I still love watching it particularly my paritcular stroke which was backstroke. Do you remember Esther Willimas? I rather fancied myself and actually was invited to open a swimming pool in Lourenco Marques - now renamed Maputo - in Mocambique when I was a just 20. Had a wonderful week being filmed left right and centre. I wonder if one could get that film out of archives. My great grandchildren might like to know what their great grandmother did during her misspent youth,. !!

So what are you doing cleaning out "goggas!? that is an Afrikaans - or mabe even African - word meaning "nasty little insects". You seem to spend a lot of time doing that. Do you have wood worm in your house? Of so beware! It might fall down.!

The other day a friend took us for a drive and we came across a most magnificent working water mill just above Dover. The setting was idyllic and I am determined to go back there and explore. The water above the water mill was so totally beautiful and the setting was really idyllic.

So forgive. I shall probably only come to my comuter at odd moments when there are some of the sports I do not like on. I am hoping to still be on this earth for the Games which will be held in London in 2012. That would be marvellous.

Go well,


AlsoRan80 (once upon a time!!)

I think it probable that others are interested! Why didn't you call yourself 'Also Swam'?
I'm most impressed by your prowess, and how stupid was the reason for not going to the Games!!
No, we're not infested. It's just that, somehow, I feel I was Meant For Higher Things than cleaning. I was meant to sit on a cushion with attendants on every hand. Alas, it was not to be.
However, I /did/ do a very good job in the garden - before the rain came down, and if I don't commend myself, I shall remain uncommended. I redesigned the main bed last year, and it was Not a Success, so I'm having another bash. We shall see how that pans out. It's awful to have to wait till next year, almost as bad as waiting for stuff to go over before moving it. Shall I live long enough to see it, I ask myself. They say a farmer works for next year, a gardener for the next century.
I'm a farmer at heart, I fear.
Be well.
Dig

Oh Dig,

what a lovely letter. I laughted out loud reading it. Merci. !

I too love gardening. I hope you are going to be able to enjoy it for many years. Being confined in a wheelchari is a bit difficult to garden. I have tried on my verandah, but I find that living four floors up, I heartily dislike looking down below and each time I try and water my unfortunate little plants I nearly topple over the edge of my balcony. Not be be recommended at my great age. So I think I shall either have to emply someone to do the watering and planting or just make do with ....No I shall try and continue.

Yave just had a wonderful day entertaining a lovley neice who came with two of her children.The last time I saw them was on my 75th birthday. They have grown up to be charming young people. So we had a lovely day.

However I am tired and am now hoing back to my pit!1

with affection

Christiane Also Ran80
aka alsoswam20 (thanks to Dig!!!)The name for my next incarnation. !!

Oh, AlsoSwam, I think that it brilliant. So clever LadyDig

I too feel I was meant for higher things than cleaning, but I soon fell off my pedestal. After all if I don't do it who will? I am afraid I have given up on our garden for the moment as it is saturated. Walking on the lawn is like walking on rice pudding

I am spending the day with my son tomorrow so may not get online tomorrow.

Have a good night both,



Websailor

Very dear WS

I have probably missed you and you have been driven off in your Chauffeur driven car. !1

Perhaps you are going to Buckingham Palace to meet the queen in order to receive your decoration from the "Feathered Society of Great Britain" (FSGB). Either that or your award from " Most Honourable Brock Organisation of the Midlands" for services rendered. You deserve them my and all the wonderful mjembers of these two societies well know it. I am so glad they recommended you for them!! The Fox society I shall leave to someone else to nominate you!

Have a wonderful day and enjoy it all.

Much affection

Christiane AlsoRan80

AlsoSwam..no more talk about Antiquity - arrgh, the very word gives me pins and needles - as far as I know you only have 80 on the clock, and I'm only 3 behind you, so shut up about Y/OUR age, yer hear??

I accept that gardening and wheelchairs are unlikely to prove compatible; had you thought of window boxes on the INSIDE? Like you, I'd decorate the concrete if I'd to lean out, so we'll ignore that issue. Now, you won't need sunflowers or oak trees, but what about alpines? especially lewisias, which don't like to get wet, so should enjoy 'your' conditions. To be continued....

Webbie, I do so hope the day has been as good as you deserve! There's something special about sons - yeah, that as well. My handbag sometimes looks like their bedrooms! As for cleaning, why does anyone have to do it, I wonder...
Dig

Hi dear uplifting SD

You are so right -sorry for my lapse into something approadhing self pity. To be avoided at all costs.

I had forgotten about lewisias. I do actually have two troughs which are full of alpines.. However they do not seem to appreciate being near the sea.- or perhaps they are rootbound. I shall have to find a kind person who will drive me to a nursery near here. Once that is done I must try and find someone who can build me a sort of wrought iron container and then I can fit in light troughs and then restart my planting. I am of course now thinking in terms of bulbs. I brought the most wonderful fairly big round "plastic" tub (it being lighter for the balcony!) and they were quite magnificent in flower and went on flowering for about two months after I arrived.

The neighbouring balconies appear to have gernaiums of immense size and vibrant colours ranged all around the base of the glass retaining "wall" of the balcony. I thought I might llke have to succumb to that but would prefer something more intimate and less ebullient than geraniums.

My carer arrived at that minute and I have just finished my lovely deep hot bath . It really does so much to control the pain and obviously does not have the side effecdts of painkillers.

Have a good day very dear young friend and thank you for reminding me that I am not yet dead, gone and buried. !!

Christiane
AlsoSwam 80

'Young friend' indeed! Now I do like that! if only there were a creeping hydrangea...that would love your location. I'm thinking of the plants we find on the seashore..immune to salt of course...lathyrus pof nall kinds, and think of the nitrogen they release...kale's a bit big, I suppose...Welsh poppy...lupinus, also a bit gigantic. Continues to think..
Forget abgout apologising for 'self pity'. Why the holly shouldn't you be sorry for yourself? I bemoan things daily. Take one complaint after meals. Tomorrow it's cramp. Why one should be woken by it, when one barely sleeps, is an enigma which Man apparently can't solve. On Saturday I shall worry about...let's see....
Considering their original location, alpines seem strangely fussy aboout their life style. 'Need a cardigan, Mum' So knit one. There's also cyclamen, robust, evergreen and so, so attractive. Thinks again.... Take care, Mrs Tadpole!
Dig

The typos above show the results of pressing the wrong button.
I must always Preview
I must always P..
I must always..
I must..
I mu..
I..
am a daft old bat.
Dig.
The End

I won't argue with that - it takes one to know one

Missed you by minutes. Gotta go, my foxes are fighting!

Websailor

Oh SD,

Again a belly laugh.

it is not mych as a "why me" but I cannot believe the dreadful things which happen to one as one advacnaces towards the pearly gates.

I mean....anyway I shall not bore you with the sordid detials, but I definitely am a very old engine in dire need of some sort of urgent attention - which I refuse to have. !!

Mrs. Tadpole indeed!!. Tadpoles change, they mutate they adapt to their surroundings. I am now going to work out how I can adapt to y new surrounds. UIguess that cyclamen was your best suggestion.

Rushing back to the box.

Go well


PS you write beautifully. thank you for making me laugh - out loud as well. !!

christiane AlsoSwam20 (in your honour - and because I was 20 during those ineffectual trials!)

"No humans of the female species need apply. We won't send you!
)

The above missive was NOT edited.

Hope you can make head or tale/tail of it.

Anyway, you did make me laugh. !!
Must and keep on ing.....

Grannie Tadpole

Grannie Tadpole?? That's absolutely the best!!!

Let's try a week without editing! We may laugh even more. Will my constitution be able to cope, I ask myself.

Now, he summons me to sit beside him to watch Gardeners' World without Monty Don. How can we bear it? Whom will they put in his place? Suggestions on a postcard, please......

Back 2morrow-'night each.

Dig

Hi, Webbie! Fighting Foxes? Perish the thought..

LadyDig, they have already decided on Monty Don's replacement. he seems to have a suitable CV but I haven't come across him before. I miss MD but wish him well. I think he was doing too much.

The foxes fight every night

Websailor

Toby Buckland. I see he won BiS at GWLive, so obviously knows his stuff. Looks a bit young to me, but give him time....I was uncomfortable at the mention of his 'light-hearted approach'. Should I be? I kinow we're /supposed/ to enjoy gardening, but when every sentence is a cue for uncontrollable mirth, it gets tiring, don't you find.
Thanks for the info' Webbie, we must wait for September 12.
I agree the Don was doing too much, but I do miss him and Geoff H.

Well, well, well,

SD.

MD unfortunately never gave me much confidence. I liked GH, and I liked AT enormously. Have I told you about PT. Or are you too young to know about him. He invited a friend and I to lunch at Chelsea in the "good old days". Back in the good old days, I used to present a gardening programme on Tv. in Zim. We were going to Europe so I wrote to PT and said that we were going to be in London for Chelsea and we would love to meet him. He was bewitched by my friend . she and her husband hybridised bouganvilliae. We had a wonderful time and it even included a visit to the TV studios in Birmingham when the producer of Gardening World who also produced a programmme on classical music wanted me to come back from France to be interviewed. They had never met anyone who not only wrote her own scipt, did her hair, did her makeup, , grew the plants and then presented the programme, and what was more loved classical m




usic. One look at the size of the studios in Birmingham froze me into a state of abject fear and I refused totally and utterly.

I rather regret it now. !!

WS how do you have inside knowledge on the gardening programme. I thought that at last they were going to give a woman a chance and let Carole Klein do it.

She knows a lot and is good I think.

Well back to the box. There may be something. but in any case there is the programme Last Choir Standing. Gosh some of them have the most magnificent harmonies.

See you tomorrow maybe

Grannie Tadpole - incidentally you realise that that is a total contradiction. ?

Do work it out. At least I think it is.
A tdpole is...
etc. etc.
A grannie was...
etc. etc.

For the life of me I cannot remember what it is called. A tautology?
hyperbole? What is it please???

I expect it's an 'anti'..something; there must be a word....
Now I discovered the name of the new gent, once Webbie had told me he existed, by Googling 'Gardeners' World + new presenter' which gave me a load of possibilities.
Yes, of course I remember Mr Thrower!!! but I can't share your enthusiasm for the crude Titch.
What an interesting Past you have!! Why not an autobiography? If only in your Space - which I've visited and found well worth the read! You seem to have travelled enormously widely.
As for the Box, I'm so glad I downloaded some stuff from Channel 4 On Demand. Saturdays are dire, I find. An absolute cultural desert.
But I must ; it's my turn to cook the evening banquet (sic) on Saturday - Heaven protect the diabolic, sorry, diabetic!
Dig