h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

“…or covered in splagberry sauce,” said Arthur, warming to the topic, “and situated between a slice of honey cured ham and a sliver of Perfectly Normal Beast. Why, it would never occur to a Vogon to check something like that…” His voice trailed off as something occurred to him. The significance of such a sublime intrigue battled it’s way across his face, to be chased back the other direction by his naïveté and general good-naturedness, which fetched up short and got its arse kicked back to where it came from. “My word, he’d only notice it after he’d taken a bite!” beamed Arthur with conspiratorial glee.

Thought I'd return the favor.

Oh, and--Yes--you may ask where it came from.

B4ipostitontheBeeb

so, where is it from?

Aha! There are signs of life!

It's a project in the works. Started it while in Iceland, about five years ago. Lost track of the disk with the text until recently. I've added quite a bit to it since then, yet it seems destined for either a quick finale, or I'll have to write a whole book chronicling Random's adventures. Currently, in it's infancy, it's titled as above.

It has humor. It has pathos. It has drama and jocularity. "I laughed; I cried. It moved me, Bob."--Larry the Cucumber, Veggie Tales

There's another, gratis. "We'll be at this *all* day."--Dorian Gray, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

B4ipullanothermovieline

life is.... intermittent at this end. busy meeting deadlines, guidelines, punchlines....

i look fwd to the next installment

Let's start from the middle, then, shall we? Or at least, let's pick up where DNA left off...



Still Mostly Harmless
(an alternate ending to Douglas Adams’ HHGTTG series)


In the darkness of the bridge at the heart of the Vogon ship, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz sat alone. Lights flared briefly across the external vision screens that lined one wall, however, not the lights he’d expected. In the blink of a Bugblatter Beast’s eye, just before his stylus made contact with the little squarish box on the demolition order he’d been impatiently waiting to tick off, the stylus melted out of existence. For that matter, his whole ship had done the same thing in that same instant, engulfed in a blinding white light that plumed outward and away from the point at which the Vogon Constructor Ship had once been. The various bits and pieces of the ship and crew added to this spectacular effect by sparkling and flashing like holiday fireworks. Strangely enough, there was one incongruous dark spot in all the scintillating light. A fluttering sort of emptiness that melded into the very fabric of space as the surrounding panoply of light and iridescence gradually lost its exuberance, then dimmed and faded into nothingness, leaving only a ghostly suggestion of an avian shadow gliding across the void.


B4thewholetalehasbeentold

i like it

Well, then, let's move on to the next paragraph...

[double-space]

In another corner of the WGSOMM, a large bat-like creature--in dire need of an orthodontist and a psychoanalyst--noted yet another “coincidental” murder perpetrated in a devious fashion by its tormentor, Arthur Dent. It began to howl in rage and frustration, the sound undulating, echoing, and reverberating in the stony confines of its collapsed cathedral. Then came a dawning realization and the scream transformed rapidly into a fit of maniacal laughter that sounded something like: “HhhhhhrrrrrraaaaaaHHHHHH… uh… ha… ha-ha-Ha-HA-HAAAA!” Gradually, Agrajag’s ragged wings and bony shoulders ceased to shake. In a startling revelation that drove out all his previous confusion and perplexity, he uttered one final plaintive sound.

[double-space]

...and so it goes. Let me know soonest if I should post the bit about the Grebulons, which is the next tie-in. I'll be off on a short vacation to the Bahamas to celebrate our middle daughter's high school graduation, so I'll be incommunicado for the weekend and slightly before. Wouldn't want to keep you on tenterhooks.

B4thesagacontinues

For you:
F1599387?thread=435606

Follow the link to the GetWriting "Extended Work" section for the story posted as Article A2745399.

B4ipenthenextchapter