h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A deep hollow cavern
Opened itself in the middle of me
Heavy, dark, throbbing with nothing

My head turns, my eyes search in all corners
But, for reasons I cannot grasp
You are not here

And the dark cavern slowly fills
With the simple, sheer, solid
Emptiness that is longing

A feeble light shines
Coming from outside towards me
I hold my breath
Trying not to stir the air so it dies

I recognise the light
It is a friendship that comes to me
I let the light shine
Welcoming its glow and warmth
And the cavern closes again

Leaving me
With the thought that as I have a friend
My eyes now again can see the light
And my heart is warm once again

But also that I need to find you
To make sure that the darkness
Didn’t just sit back to wait
But rather wrapped itself in its black cloak
And left me safe in the light

-----

A hard one to pen - most of it I dreamt last night and I got some of it down this morning. Finished - or tried to - just now, to the extent that I could, given I am a day's worth away from when it was in my head...

How odd - I've repeatedly seen a floating light when I've been awake but had my eyes closed.

...

Indeed, that is a coincidence.

Lovely, moving poem. Thank you for sharing it.

F died 8 years ago today. I wish he would come back as a light or something to let me know he's ok. So far that hasn't happened. I seldom even dream about him, and when I do he is usually cross with me about something. I really expected to dream about him all the time.

I certainly would wish for a light for you

That actually gave me pause. The one who wasn't there - why? The immediate feeling, I think, was more "inexplicably" than "tragically"...

has been alerted to the excellence of this poem - which has not been exaggerated.

Could we please publish it in ?

Sure

...maybe I should re-read it just in case. At least, I seem to remember that my first Post-published poem (and only) had a typo in it...

Ok, at least I can't see any obvious ones.

Though the line "Trying not to stir the air so it dies" bothers me a little bit - does it need a "that" after "so"? If sufficiently English-writing proof-readers think so, do feel free to add it...

I think it reads fine, as is.

But if you see anything you want to change, you can just tell us, and we will.

'least it die'? Not sure that's correct English though, mind you

No, I don't think it is.

Did you mean 'lest it die'?

Uh... maybe?

Because I think that Santra, like I, has a niggling feeling that 'so' is a rather Scandinavian expression.

Nah. 'So' is fine.

...or rather that using the word 'so' in this manner is a rather Scandinavian way of treating it.

'So' to mean 'so as', or 'so, dass', or 'damit'?

We do, at least in the US. But then, we have more German/Scandinavian influence in our speech than will ever be admitted.

I like as it is. I am not sure about the technicalities of it, but I like the way it reads, it makes sense, and it seems somehow gentle

that is just how it felt to me anyway

Well, Santra will still have some time to decide what to do, right?

yes

I hope it didn't sound that I was saying what they 'should' do, just I like it as it is, and if it gets changed I will still like it the same

It is a lovely poem

Ah, sorry peanut, my reply was more in response to Dmitri.

I think most readers of it will find that some of the lines resonate with a memory or emotion within themselves.