h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Scientology is a bit worse than the others. Got something to do with it being founded on a money making scheme methinks.

As opposed to what? Catholicism?

But even I, an absolute religion hater can see that Scieno is a little worse than the others.

Well yeah, Catholicism was founded on conservation and preservation of political power, wasn't it?

Lil

And the Church of England came into being so that our monarch could get a divorce.

????????

Where did you hear this story? I would really like to know.

Thanks.

About the reason for Anglicanism? Sure, it's true.
King Henry the... either IVth or VIIIth, was married to Catharina, but in love with Anna Boleyn (correct me if i'm wrong). The pope wouldn't allow him to divorce Catharina, so, following the advice from his trusty advisor Cromwell, he cast out Catholicism, invented Anglicanism and made himself head of this chirch, so he could indulge his bigamistic reveries... of course Cromwell had other things in mind. He wanted Anglicism to be a harsh, calvinistic way, a pretext to ban the (at the time) hedonist ways of the catholics. He set out with an iron hand, smashing churches and burning precious catholic property. But his rigourous undertaking backfired and soon people were calling for Cromwells death... and they got what they asked.

For a while I thought you were a scientologist - that questioned seemed like one they would ask . But the Xenu story is the standard story that has developed in anti-scieno sites. I don't know where it began - probably from an ex-scieno. But obviously it has been exaggerated, but its still a standard explanation .

Here's the story on the birth of the Anglican Church:

King Henry VIII of England was at one time a devout Catholic, and was even dubbed Defender of the Faith by the pope... an honor which carries with it a plenary indulgence, which means he skips any time in Purgatory and goes straight to heaven. However, Henry failed to produce a healthy male heir to succeed his throne. He blamed his wife, Catherine of Aragon, and sought to divorce her in favor of someone who could provide him with one. The Church does not sanction marriages, so he made up his own, and got himself excommunicated by the pope. He went through a string of marriages, and produced only one male heir who lived through childhood. Edward succeeded Henry to the throne, but died shortly after at age 19 or so. Henry had syphillis, and he passed it on to all his male children. Just goes to show what a good bit of inbreeding will do for you (as if the current royal family weren't proof enough).

I went to see "Battlefield Earth" at the theater this weekend. It was based on Hubbard's book of the same title. Travolta was in the main role. It was OK. Nothing to shout about. It seemed like your typical post-modern Earth type movie. Not much different than the ones Hollywood's been spitting out since the 70's. Does anyone know what relation this book has to their beliefs? Or, was it just something Hubbard attempted to write?

It is rumoured to have sumliminal messaging. But I'm not to sure. However, written by the Hub and starring Travolta then it might not be so ridiculous. Never trust it .

Are you kidding me? 'It was OK?!?!' That movie was the filth that grows on a worm's ass. It was so bad, MST3K is coming back from the dead for one last "Very Special" Christmas Special.

How bad is it?
Travolta laughs constantly. Not like you usually mean by the phrase "laughs constantly," but like Speed Racer. "Stupid rat-HAHAHA-brained humans, mine my HAHAHA gold for me, or HAHAHA I'll de-HAHAHA-stroy your stupid HAHAHA ratbrained planet using-HA-my-HA-powers-HA-of-HA-LEVERAGE! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA" (Leverage is apparently the scientoligist word for The Force.

How bad is it?
Every action movie has a line, a line that, in theory, gets repeated by enthusiastic 13yrolds as they file through the ticket line for the 20th time. Whether it's "I'll be back" or "Get off my plane", or even "Snakes. Why does it always have to be snakes?" Battlefield Earth's line is, no joking, "We need more supplies!!!!!"

How bad is it?
*At one point, they use an actual matte background from "Beneath the Planet of the Apes."
*Within a 36 hour span, an illiterate caveman (The handsome, smart, proactive caveman named Johnny Goodboy) learns two new languages (Psychlo and English), the Art of War, the founding theories of Democracy, and, somehow, he teaches all these things to his fellow illiterate cavemen, along with the ability to pilot a fighter jet and walk 500 miles in a day (Unless, that is, I missed the three months it took them to walk from Washington DC to Fort Knox KY.)
*John Travolta wears a codpiece.

This movie has all the artistic direction of "Saturn 9", the plausibility of "Demon Seed", and the plot of STAR WARS, a new hope.

I'm just a wee bit pissed.

http://www.factnet.org/halt.htm is essential reading

A bit of humor for the scieno-bashers assembled here: http://parody.organique.com/16.htm