h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* a shimmering portal opens. MaW and the Penguin step through, looking rather bedraggled *

[MaW] Ah, excellent!

* they are in one of the tea rooms at the Ministry of Magecraft. This one is quite large, although there are no other customers there (or so it seems - there are actually many customers there, but they're occupying different logical spaces and so cannot see or affect each other in any way at all. The walls appear to be transparent, allowing a view of a seemingly endless aquarium which surrounds the entire room. They aren't - a magical field holds back the water, which the brave can stick their hands into if they wish (or those with sticky fingers). Brightly-coloured fish selected for beauty swim placidly in the water, which is also occupied by a variety of pond plants. There are no doors - entry and exit is accomplished by standing on a blue disk set in the floor near the centre and thinking very hard of where you wish to go within the Ministry *

[Penguin] Waiter! I'll have a large bowl of seafood soup!

* a waiter penguin appears briefly *

[Waiter Penguin] At once, sir. And for you, sir?

[MaW] I shall have a large bowl of spicy noodle soup and a mug of freshly squeezed apple juice.

[Waiter Penguin] I shall bring your orders in approximately three minutes.

* the waiter penguin disappears *

Both Thras and Jade: Miso soup with seaweed and extra tofu please!!!

Both: Hey. I wanted that.

Both: *laugh*

Waiter: What to drink then?

Jade: Erm, just some regular coffee, please.

Thras: Pepermint tea, thank you.

* two waiter penguins appear carrying the ordered food and drinks. They deposit it on a nearby table and vanish again *

[MaW] Mmm, noodle soup!

* he eats *

Jade and Thras: EEE!

Jade: *bows her head* Da'itakimasu! *quickly looks up, snatches her chopsticks and begins downing the seaweed and tofu out of her soup*

Thras: *Politely laps up his soup*

Jade: This is terrific! *looks at the abundance of empty seats* Where's all the YK and his little entourage? Didn't he come...?

Thras: *licks his chops and looks up* Yes. Where are all the Y's...?

[MaW] Well, they stepped through the portal, but they haven't arrived yet.

[Penguin] Sometimes, people get lost in those. Rarely, but sometimes.

[MaW] Someone'll find them in a few months.

Thras: Ah well. I suppose you're right.

Jade: I have to admit that the Y's were getting a bit cranky near the end of that adventure, though, don't you think?

Thras: Yeah... Perhaps they needed some chocolate?

Jade: *picks up a few noodles with her chopsticks and twirls them about over her plate* Perhaps...

[MaW] Perhaps...

[Penguin] Then again, perhaps not.

* MaW eats some noodles *

[MaW] Mmm, this is perfect.

Jade: *toying with her tofu* This doesn't count as a date, does it...?

Thras: *laughs to hard miso soup comes out his nose*

Jade: That was beautiful, Thras. *claps*

[Penguin] Whatever makes you think that?

* MaW produces a tissue for Thras to wipe his nose with *

Jade: *shrugs nonchalantly and chews on a bit of seaweed* Nothing, really. It was just a question.

Thras: *still shaking with laughter, greatfully takes the tissue from MaW* I... *gasp* can't believe... you said... that... *gasp, *

Jade: *grins* Don't I just make things interesting though? But seriously now. Where have the Y's gone...? Have they abandoned us after all this time? It's a bit depressing, you know. YK /is/ the one who suggested we go on that pointless adventure, and then he and all of her prospective clones abandon us. *anime grin* But I supose it's all right! I have miso. *sips her miso broth*

[Penguin] Indeed, you have Miso, and you have the cabaret.

* a stage is suddenly in the middle of the room, not replacing anything or taking up any space, but shouldering aside reality in order to make room for itself. On the stage is a troupe of ducks, dancing energetically and highly capably under the Thingite banner - it's the Thingite dance troup, of which MaW is the choreographer. Today, however, they need no choreography because the routine is well-practised and more impressive than anything you'll ever see on the Royal Variety Performance, largely because nothing on that is ever performed by two-foot tall ducks wearing purple wellingtons and rain hats. The music, incidentally, has a thumping drum part played on assorted big, big wooden drums *

[MaW] Yes, so it would seem. Waiter!

* a penguin waiter appears *

[Penguin Waiter] Yes?

[MaW] I'd like to order a main course. Deep-fried breaded scampi, an eight ounce sirloin steak, onion rings, peas, sweetcorn and chips please.

[Penguin Waiter] Anything else?

[MaW] No, thankyou.

[Penguin Waiter] That will be a few minutes, sir.

* the penguin waiter vanishes again *

Jade: Ohh, I need to have a look at the menu, I think... No Steak for me. I'm a bit opposed to it.

Thras: How about the tempura? *to MaW* They /do/ have tempura here, don't they? I could go for some footlong shrimp right about now... *his stomach growls*

[MaW] Of course they have tempura. Just call for a waiter and ask for what you want, and they can probably get it. This _is_ the Ministry of Magecraft, after all.

[Penguin] More fish!

[Penguin Waiter (from off)] That will be just a few minutes, sir.

Jade: Okay then. Tempura for myself and the dragon here, then.

Penguin Waiter: *from off* Just a few minutes.

Jade and Thras: Yay!