h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I designed our house in a very simple ranch style in a clinker facebrick, natural timber french door and window frames and a shallow pitch tile roof. Inside, all the floors are quarry tile or ceramic glazed tile with lots of rugs 'n such, all easy to wash. All the ceilings are tongue and grooved knotty pine planking over exposed laminated pine rafters with a thick, deep laminated eucalyptus saligna beam running up the centre of the pitch. Except for the fact that it is located in urban Pretoria, South Africa, it has a very Alpine feel to it .

The house is oriented quite far to the north-east, so that the morning sun streams in over the whole floor of the open plan living area. The s and s have always loved lying on the floor in the sun to bake until golden brown. In summer, strategically placed deciduous trees keep the morning sun out until after 8:00 and the large roof overhand cuts it out in the midday. In the evenings, the sun streams in on the south-western side of the house where the open plan kitchen and the bathrooms are located, warming them up for evening use.

Lots of passive solar energy 'tricks' and careful attention to technical matters such as sun angles, thermal mass, trombe wall effects and optimum insulation in the roof (read enormous stroke of first try luck!) mean that we seldom ever have to put on the oil heater in winter (three days last year) and in the summer, open windows and french doors permit generous free air flow and it's never too hot. If it is, just pop into the pool with it's privacy enclosure away from all neighbours prying eyes I'm a nudist at heart but don't have the body to do it in public!

Jenny, however, says it doesn't have enough light and just wants to break out walls and put in aluminium sliding doors and skylights I tell her it will let in too much sun in summer and release too much heat in the winter (we don't have double glazing here, unless the massive imported cost is justified for other reasons). I throw the architectural toys out the cot, claim artistic privilege and tell her that her next husband can pay for it after I'm dead - I'm not destroying my masterpiece! .

We've agreed that our next house will be more 'democratically' designed. But before then I'm going to rent us a glass box (for the view, of course) for a year so that she can experience the joys of hot sunshine in the summer, chilly drafts in the winter and a massive central heating bill at the end of each month!
*smiles knowingly and smugly*

The property is some 1200 square metres and the whole front area is lawn and garden beds. The pool area is sandwiched between the house and the garage with attached outside room and bathroom where Alan (and his girlfriend Maxine most nights) lives. Although it is only some 200m fron the N1 freeway, houses in between block out almpost all the noise. Once in a while a truck on the decent from the south will use it's exhaust braking and attract some attention. Otherwise it's very peaceful.

The back garden is walled in and gates exclude the s. This we call the s garden and it has no lawn, only perrennials, shrubs and paving under a massive Acacia Karoo thorn tree. Just outside the kitchen door in the only sunny spot is the herb garden where Steven grows all we need - basils, rosemary, thyme, sorrell, Italian parsley cherry tomatoes and even lavender. There is a small lemo tree that has really struggled for ten years to grow in three places and hopefully will now actually bear fruit. If not, we'll stay buying from the greengrocer, or borrowing from the next door neighbour who has a lovely one.

Suzi spends her days here, catching lizards, moths and the occasional bird and rolling in the sand. Just call 'wiss-wiss' out the window and you'll get a responsive 'meeoowll'. The volume and enthusiasm is naturally dependent on her mood at the time! If she's hungry, she'll be inside through the intentionally missing bottom pane in the laundry louvre window in seconds. If, however, you've been out to work or away for the day, she'll be aloof and in a where-the-hell-have-you-been-all-day frame of mind.

s! More character than a pack of s! Sooty (I found a pic, now to scan it) once chased a fully grown German Shepherd around the pool area and cornered it in the drying yard under the washline! Whereupon it wailed heartrendingly for us to rescue it from the vicious feline claws! The same Sooty, when the neighbourhood was much less developed, caught (and ate in the lounge under the TV) a wild hare or that had come to graze on the green kikuyu grass of our lawn before we were fenced in.

Good Lord, how I've rambled on! I suppose that I had better earn my keep today and write a report or two. Thanx for the chat and keep in touch!

I'm soooooo jealous WR! Your home sounds wonderful! Please send me some pictures!

You'd hate our old house! It's a mining town end of a terraced row that was completed in 1901. Mind you, it is on the outskirts of the town and backs onto an enormous ancient tree-filled graveyard and farmland, so it's quiet (the graveyard neighbours are very quiet - apart from the birds of course!).

The house was derelict and had been empty for five years, so it took John four months of hard work just to get it so we could live in it. He had to turn the two bedrooms upstairs into three bedrooms and a bathroom, rewire the place, install central heating, water tanks, dig up the floors and put a damp proof course in...

All the wiring was pre WWII, there was no central heating, no bathroom (only an outside toilet located in a shed in the yard) and one big old stone sink that was in a lean-to in the yard. This had the only water supply and there was an old electric water heater on the wall. Even the windows were the original sash ones with the lead lights in. It was a shame, but we had to replace these with double-glazed units as it would have cost more than the cost of new double glazing to restore the original windows, which we would have liked to do.

For the past ten years it has been like living in a cross between a building site, menagerie, toy shop and a greenhouse (I love to have masses of plants around my home!). There are always building materials or bits of John's bikes kicking around too. Even now the house isn't finished, although it is mostly cosmetic touches that remain to be done...

Our loft is full of boxes that haven't been unpacked from our return to the UK from NZ in 1992! Mind you, I'd have trouble getting to them as last year we had foam cavity wall insulation installed and, unbeknown to us, there were a few gaps in the brickwork that led into the loft area and now everything in the loft is covered in insulation chips, as was our upstairs landing because the loft hatch was open at the time this happened. Cleaning the loft up is something that we both keep putting off (out of sight, out of mind)!

The house we had before we went to NZ was a tiny 16th century 'listed' thatched cottage in Hampshire and I loved living there. It had flint and chalk walls that were a couple of feet thick (warm in the winter and cool in the summer). A little old lady had lived there for donkeys years and it was in a right mess when John bought it and he renovated the whole house himself. It took me 17 miles and a pint of cider before I stopped crying when we moved out. I have lots and lots of pictures if you're interested... (No! Not ones of me crying - of the house!)

I hope that you didn't get told off at work for spending too much time making me jealous.

If the house in the background of John on his Honda is your current house, I would love it! The Victorian everyday buildings had a charm that I enjoy. Lots of lovely brickwork with intricate bonds and exquisite pointwork. Remember, this is my working life! It's a pity that restoration work is so expensive - so much of long surviving cultural history gets lost due to short term economics That's not a criticism of you and John, by the way! Apart from being a major handyman, what does John do IRL?

Our house is in need of some ,aintenance and renovation at the moment - the ends of the beams are exposed to too much sun and they are deteriorating. I plan to form shoes from copper sheet and to repfrofile the ends to give a but more overhang from the tiles. Then I have to replace the timber facia boards and put in two short lengths of gutter where the front door and kitchen door are. I'm also going to put in three 'light tiles' (polycarbonate tiles of the same profile as the cement ones) to allow more light into the back bathrooms which ARE a touch dark after the tree has grown so big!

Now just to find the time to do it! I live in Pretoria and drive 65km to Johaneesburg to work every day and then 65km back again. It's winter now and the sun only rises at around 6:45 and sets again around 18:00. We have no twighlight (sp?) here - it goes from sunshine to pitch dark in less than an hour. So I leave in the dark and get back in the dark after a long day and by then it's family time, evening meal, news-on-the-telly and . Weekends are support-the-kids-at-school-sports, shopping, whatever.

Oh yes, and motorcycling!

Ta ever so for your complimentary comments re the house (that was John's Kawasaki ZX10 he was on by the way ;-) ). We have a postage stamp sized garden at the front of the house and quite a large yard at the rear, which is where John was in his photograph. Our garden and garage are across the road from our yard and did run the length of the whole terrace, until we sold the bottom half off to a neighbour (for some strange reason none of the other houses have a second garden or garage). You can also see in the photograph of John what is now our utility room that he built on to the house as an extension, right out to the original outside toilet and we now have a downstairs loo, which is where Humphrey currently lives. There's no offence taken re the double glazed units (at least we had them made so they resemble sash windows). :-) I still like the sound of your home though! A swimming pool hey? *Goes an unhealthy shade of green* 8-) John read your posting and totally agrees with you regarding your decision not to make alterations to your masterpiece! He says that renting a glass box is probably a good idea so Jenny can experience the seasonal extremes. The house we had in NZ was a nightmare - boiling in the summer and chilly in what passed for winter. We had a pot belly stove in the living room and an oil-filled radiator to heat the other end of the house. Mind you, it did have a 'tin' roof which we thought was cosy during all the tropical down-pours. What does John 'do', apart from making a mess in the house? :-D As a spotty teenager, John almost completed an apprenticeship in car mechanics but then went on to work in the building trade because it paid a LOT more money. He then sold what little possessions he had (including his m/c) and cleared off to travel round NZ and Oz for two years, working on a hat stall in a travelling fair and as a tractor driver fruit in orchards. On his return to the UK he completed an apprenticeship as a lift engineer and then worked for himself as a contract worker until I moved in to his small 16th century thatched with a 13 month-old baby, two large s, four s and my great aunt's 1920's oak furniture! Because I had a young child, John thought it was important to go back 'on the cards' and took a job as an extruder operator for a local cable manufacturing company. In New Zealand, in between fixing most of his fellow local bike club member's machines and diving, John fitted kitchens for his brother's company. When we returned to the UK, in between renovating this house he passed an Open University foundation degree course in Earth Sciences and was going to go to university as a mature student, but sadly became ill with frequent migraines (only one per week if he's 'lucky' but quite regularly up to three). John is currently in receipt of long-term Incapacity Benefit and is prescribed medications for his migraines that are addictive, have made him put on lots of weight and generally feel unwell. It's such a shame because he used to be so fit (running, weight training, scuba diving and swimming) and now even mowing the lawn is difficult for him to do. Our house remains unfinished due to lack funds and John usually being too ill to perform anything too strenuous. We'll get there eventually though! I receive a Carer's Allowance for looking after Chris (and a 1st class National Insurance stamp which at least means that I'll be entitled to a full State pension at 60) that is topped up by Income Support and while the kids are at school, work as a volunteer with the Red Cross in a local charity shop (I've worked there for the past seven years) and study part time in a local college. Life could be a lot worse and I feel far from sorry for myself as the whole experience of being poor with a special needs child has changed they type of person that I am for what I like to think is the better (twenty years ago this would have been my ultimate nightmare). Don't get me wrong as I've been through

Your postings took me from to to to to end at - goodonyagirl! . I can tell that you have more love in you than most and that the more you give the more you have to give! I can see the in your pics with John and I've been the target of your pranks myself at the Bikers Rest!

UK has a social services net that many Africans yearn for. SA has about 40M people - about 22M are under the age of 16. Of the adult population of 18M, some 4M are gainfully employed in full time jobs, earning wages and paying tax. Of those employed, more than 60% receive more value in direct benefits (health care, education, etc) directly from the state than they contribute to the state. Those people, such as myself, who are blessed with employment contibute the balance of the budget. But it is seriously slanted and a recent study showed that 287000 individual taxpayers contributed over 80% of the countries revenue. Sadly, many of these very people are migrating away as more lucrative opportunites present themselves to them.

HIV/AIDS will devastate Africa in the next twenty years. Countries like SA, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Botswana, Lesotho have HIV+ rates over 30% of the adults between 25-40 years of age. With very good nutrition and taking care of opportunistic infections, 10-12 more years is their life expectancy. Traditional cultural sexual practices frown on condom usage and so HIV infection, cross infection and reinfection is rife in rural areas. In Kwazulu-Natal, it is not uncommon to find orphan households headed up by a 16 year old girl or boy with 3 or 4 younger siblings.

African culture has always looked after the elders. They were he teachers, the storeytellers and the custodians of tribal wisdom. They had many children, because when these children grew up, they could care for them again. So-called 'civilisation' and urbanisation has eroded or even eradicated such cultural roots and we are finding many many families with elderly grandparents (no pensions) looking after five, six or more grandchildren orphaned by AIDS, disease, sudden death or even simple abandonment.

Yes, there are child grants for care-givers, but the logistic of getting application in to government offices and getting money back out into rural areas where roads just don't exist is mind-boggling. With worsening unemployment, desperate people resort to crime and transport delivering pension money out into the styx are often robbed and then the poor intended recipients get no money for another month.

But SA is heaven to a Moçambican, a Zimbabwean, a Somali or an Angolan. Recently, an architect friend was commissioned to go to Angola to advise on primary health care clinics in the country areas. As he would be far from his usual medical care, he popped into the local GP and down to the pharmacy to get some medication - 'just-in-case'. In Angola he spoke to the elderly nurse that ran the clinic and asked her what her problems were. 'DRUGS' was her first reply. 'What we do get is too little, too erratic and too late. I now have over thirty children under one year dying of diarreah that I could save if I just had some simple anti-biotics. But we haven't had any for three months.' He reached into his bag and took out his little packet of pills. 'Will these help you at all?' he asked her. She looked at his gift and grabbed him in a hug that squeezed the breath out of him. Carefully she took stock of the medication, looked up in her notebook for dosages and turned to the donor. 'Even if I don't get any more drugs for another two months, I won't lose one of those children'

The really sad thing is - drug companies in the First World destroy past-sell-by-date medication that is still effective, but less potent. International conventions prohibit even the donation of these expired drugs to other countries. Yet even the expired drugs could save lives out here.

Whatever your situation, there will always bet people better off and worse off than yourself.

Gosh! Thank you kind sir for your complements!

The NHS physiotherapist who is treating the arthritis in my wrists with acupuncture came to the UK from SA years ago (she has raised her family here) and as her parents still live there, she regularly returns. We've frequently discussed SA's poverty/social problems as there is quite a lot of press coverage here in the UK that sometimes makes it look quite a scary place to live. Have you personally encountered any of the crimes that are publicised in our press and if so, have you ever thought that you might leave? You don't sound as though you're the type of person that would leave SA for pastures new.

I'm speechless and feel like crying having read about your friend's visit to Angola. The large drug companies have a lot to answer for and I was so relieved when SA recently won it's case for the right to supply cheap generic drugs.

Many is the time that I 'chew the fat' (not an apt expression for a vegan is it?) over in my mind whilst walking the s on a sunny evening and am thankful that I was fortunate enough to be born and raised in the UK. I just wish that more UK citizens would appreciate what they have here and take more care to protect it (by bothering to vote as just one example).

Apathy is one of the things that really annoys me (that with cruelty, injustice, poverty and desecration of the environment).

I'm on me old soap box again!

It's about time for me to go and cook/incinerate a dead NZ 's leg for John and his old school friend Andy who has just dropped in on a flying visit on his Honda Transalp.

SA is a country that you either love or hate with a passion. I think every South African goes through both emotions at least once a day.

As a male Euro-African, I am at the bottom of the list of any job applicants. If no indigenous African Female, Male, a Disabled person or Euro-African Female applies for a job, they will NOT consider me - they will readvertise until they do get one of the above. That is why I WOULD leave the land of my birth.

But then South Africa has a population with such potential, such needs and such a calling. I have skills, training and experience that I want to make available to develop all my fellow Africans in order that every child of Africa can enjoy what I enjoyed as a child. That is why I could NEVER stay away from the land of my birth.

Some of my ancestors come from somewhere in Norfolk. Others came from Ireland, Scotland and Greece. (A real crossbreed, wot!) My skin is pale, but Africa gave birth to me, suckled and nurtured me. Although history shows that I did not live indigenous African ways or learn the many African languages, I feel indebted to her, bonded to her forever. Perhaps my Sotho nanny, Jane, who bathed me from birth, shared her corn porridge meals with me and nursed me through many childhood illnesses, inprinted this love in me. Who knows? But Africa is in my veins, my heart, my very being!

One Sunday I awoke from an afternoon kip to hear the most graceful, moving and beautiful music. It drew tears as I listened to the strange tongue the female voices sang - it was traditional Gaelic songs. My being may be African, but my soul is Irish. I may have never set foot in that Emerald Isle, but I hear her voice too!

Crime and violence has not touched my immediate family yet. We were burgled shortly after we moved into the new house, but this was many years back. But not a day goes by that I do not hear of someone somebody else knows who was murdered, raped, hijacked or assaulted. So we warn our kids of the dangers, take and fetch sons and daughters from school or social functions and lock our doors.

More than that we cannot do - one avoids travelling at night off the main routes and you get street-wise in looking out for suspicious situations. More than looking out for cars and such in front of you, you have to also search the mirrors for what is coming up behind you! Some traffic intersections along my regular route of travel are known hijack hot-spots. At these places you treat red traffic lights as stop signs and if you get bonked from behind by a car you drive off to the nearest police station without getting out.

Such is life here at the southern tip of Africa....

But then we have glorious sunshine 355+ days of the year. When it rains it does so for an hour or two, usually in the late afternoon in summer. We have beautiful scenery, more species of flower in the Cape Peninsula alone than there are in all of Europe. From one side of the country to the other, you may travel through rainforest, savannah grasslands, semidesert, desert and Mediterranean coastal areas. We have the most beautiful mountain in the world (Table Mountain) and the worlds' best surfing waves at Jeffreys Bay near Port Elizabeth. We have some of the best game reserves in Africa and the least number of extinct species.

Wide open spaces...living space...long open roads and few traffic police...fast motorcycles and fuel in the tank...

NEED I SAY MORE!


PS: Bumper sticker wisdom: 'I used to be apathetic - but then I somehow lost interest...'

LOL! I could do with one of those bumper stickers!

I suppose that where ever a person lives, it's 'swings and roundabouts' and you have to take the good with the bad. I hope that as time progresses things will settle down for everyone in SA.

There are inner city crime 'hot spots' here in the UK that most sensible people wouldn't dream of frequenting after dark. Having said that, less than 15 years ago and when I lived in Hampshire, it was quite common for me to pop out and leave my garage or back door open (well in the summer months anyway!). I wouldn't dream of doing that here in the NE of England as not only is it colder but the crime rate is much higher. We've had our car stolen twice and a couple of attempted burglaries that the dogs have foiled.

I had a wonderful holiday in Eire about 20 years ago and my favourite place is County Kerry. It's a beautiful country and easy to fall in love with, especially as the people are so fantastically friendly.

By the by...Do you ride your m/c to work or keep it for leisure purposes only?

Oh! I've just remembered something else I've been meaning to ask you...How and when did you discover hootoo?

Nosy aren't I?

I've just remembered to say that I sent you an Email (with one photograph attachment) to your work address. Did you receive it okay, or would it have been too large? Perhaps I should send pictures to your Hotmail account...

I ride Candy when I feel the urge, be it to shop on a Saturday or Sunday morning, for a breakfast run to the dam or to work. I have a business car that I operate most days for vists to site, meetings with clients etc. But sometines when the weather is particularly good I get the urge take Candy out for a run to Johannesburg and I can sleep late
The 65km trip from our home to my workplace takes 45min if I leave before 06:00. If I only leave at 6:30, it takes twice as long due to traffic. On Candy I get there in 35 minutes - no matter when I leave as lane-splitting in traffic is legal here Getting home is a similar grind. If I leave office before 16:15 I get home in 45 min. After 16:30, you may as well wait until 18:00 - you'll get home at the same time! So most days I sit at office until six - hence I don't get too much flack for Internet use

A kid in Jenny's class (grade three) hasn't been to school for two days. The second day the school phoned to enquire and were told that the family car was hijacked . Arriving at their own front gate in one of the affluent eastern suburbs of Pretoria they were set upon by three armed men. The mother froze in panic, the elder son said 'Just give them the car, Mom' and they carefully got out and surrendered the family car. Fortunately for them, the hijackers didn't take them along with the car or who knows what... First the family went through a traumatic divorce that required counselling for the kids - now they are so traumatised they won't leave the house. Could happen anywhere, one might say - but in SA it happens so often that the newspapers don't consider it news The car was recovered six blocks from the house after the anti hijack device disabled the engine.
Insurance companies are now requiring that vehicles over a certain value be fitted with anti-hijack devices that automatically activate if the driver's door is opened and closed again without turning off the engine. The device must be disarmed by entering a code onto a keypad. Sounds good doesn't it - the hijacked car will drive off and the engine will be disabled within a number of minutes.
The sad side effect is that some hijackers now kidnap the driver along with the car to ensure that the keypad can be corrected whenever they need it. If you resist or refuse, they shoot you on the spot, drive off and leave the car wherever it disables. When the car reaches it's diverted destination, the driver is murdered. If it's a woman, she will most likely be raped first. And then our constitutional court says a death penalty infringes on the criminal's right to life!

(I remain an unrepentant DP protagonist as a last option in cases of violent rape and murder - deliberately remove another's right to life and you surrender your own!)

Gosh! That poor family and what an unfortunate device to have to resort to as well.

*Helps WR down from his soapbox*

Everyone's entitled to get on a soapbox you know so don't feel the need to apologise.

The death penalty thingee is where we part company on agreeing about things Wrinkly One. Let's not argue though and instead agree to differ.

I've been lucky enough to have led a relatively sheltered life and fortunately have never been placed in the situation where someone close to me has been kidnapped/raped/murdered, so I have no idea how I would react under those circumstances and can only imagine...

It is possible that I could evolve into a female version of Charles Bronson's 'Vigilante' and venture forth into the world for vengeance.

It doesn't bare thinking about, does it? Not a pretty sight!

John's pro-death penalty by the way...So we have the occasional 'heated' discussion! Then again, he voted for Maggie Thatcher (twice) but I forgave him and as punishment, moved in with and married the old coot and he's not been the same since...

You forgot to tell me how you found h2g2 by the way...

How to hootoo? By accident! I followed a news link to BBC and somehow from there...

I'll always agree to disagree - otherwise I would not have been married to one woman for 22 years When I believe with conviction I will debate with gusto, but not hold the opponent's own conviction against them. (Thinks: They're bloody idiots!)

I'm know and am friends with carnivores, vegans, vegetarians, vivisectionists, sado-masochists, celibates, philanderers, sluts, atheists, Christians, Moslems, Jews, hunters and even used-car salesmen That doesn't mean I agree with everybody, does it?

The world would be a boring place if everyone agreed with everyone else.

Twenty-two years...I take my hat off to you and your good lady sir...

John and I have been married 13 years and living together for 14 this August. We both forgot our wedding anniversary last April and it was John who eventually remembered.

We don't have many friends - well ones that live locally and most of my long-established friends live 'down' in southern England.

Perhaps our lack of local friends has something to do with my only taking a bath once a year... Or it could be related to John and I not having been out (socially) since October 1992!

I haven't taken a bath since our honeymoon - not counting hot-tubbing. But I do enjoy a good shower at least one a day! Personally, I can't think of anything more UNhygenic than exfoliating and degreasing in a tub of soapy water and them wallowing in it for a half hour! I understand though that people in the tropics do bathe and shower more often than some in Europe, but I take your comment with a spoon of salt!

But I do know what you mean about a slow social life! We also have few friends, but those we have are OLD friends. I'm still good mates with my first girlfriend (she phoned me today) and in December it will have been 35 years since our first date! Jenny is ok with the friendship, but she was a jealous when we first married!
My two best school mates are still mates, even though we don't see them for six months at a time.

This is why your place of work is more important than you realise - it's where you spend most of your waking life!

It was difficult to socialise or visit other people's houses when Chris was younger because he was virtually impossible to control. Thankfully he is vastly improved and we can take him anywhere now. Of course, living on benefits and John being ill has also meant that we can't afford to go out or make plans, so our lack of a social life is not entirely due to Chris's autism.

I often dream that I'm back in my old workplace, although it is no exists.

My first long-term boyfriend who I met at work (we 'went out' for almost five years) Emailed me the week before last to say that he's officially retired and is off globe trotting for the next six months or so! I can't believe that he's 60! Time really has flown...

I don't think that John is jealous of my old boyfriend being in contact with me - he knows that I love him to bits, although I must admit that I'd probably be jealous were our situation reversed.

I'm still friends with a couple girls that I grew up and went to school with. We were neighbours for many years.

Sadly I lost touch with quite a few of my school friends but I recently joined the Friends Reunited website and have re-established contact with many old 'chums'. It's so funny to see pictures of them as middle-aged, greying/balding adults when in my mind's eye they're still a bunch of teenagers! We've exchanged stories and jogged one another's memories and it's 'almost' like being a teenager again.

I seldom 'exfoliate and degrease in a tub of soapy water' either and instead shower every morning (and again if I've been to the gym or pool). I've tried to get Chris to shower, but he still likes to play in the bath and it's easier for me because I don't get so wet when I wash him!

Yes - there's nothing like a tight budget to cramp your social life! Despite the fact that both Jenny and I work full-time, we still have too much month left at the end of the money too often I once read that it is a fundamental rule of economics that expenditure will rise to overtake income. So how come we're broke and most other people seem to be flush?

I'm a little disappointed - the F650?thread="smiley - biggrin" title="biggrin" class="smiley" src="http://www.h2g2.com/h2g2/skins/Alabaster/images/Smilies/f_biggrin.gif"/>. I just reach the ground on them (I'm short in the leg) and stand on tip-toe at traffic lights. But when your riding, you don't need to stand on the ground, now do you! I'll let you know how it goes!

We're going through quite a chill time this weekend - snow and sleet in the mountains and clear cold nights elsewhere I'll have to dress warm tomorrow - like European rider do most days I would imagine from pics and documentaries I've seen!

Methinks that unless they're absolutely loaded, most folk who appear to have lots of dosh are really living beyond their means and must have huge credit card debts or bank overdrafts and use their homes as collateral. John's brother and his wife are prime examples and when a few years ago the tax man cometh, they had to sell their huge custom built house...It was hard for me not to feel a certain satisfaction as John had warned him what would happen. But being thick-skinned, John's brother and his Mrs are back on the same path, convinced that the tax man has forgotten all about them...

I'm trying to picture you just about managing to touch the ground with your toes at a set of lights... John's never had that trouble as he's 6'2" and instead has found that most bikes are uncomfortable unless he alters the handlebars or something far to technical for me to describe here (what ever it is, it involves money and hours of tinkering and keeps him amused for a while). He was totally devastated that the Norton was too small for him to ride for lengthy periods and the chap that he sold it to looked much better on it than he did.

Anyhow, I hope that you have a fun time. How many of you will be going by the way?

I would imagine that your idea of chilly and mine is something completely different. You're conversing with someone who used to wear a woolly cardigan during the NZ summer if there was the slightest breeze! The men and women native to the NE of England seem to be a species unto themselves and will sport short-sleeved t-shirts and skimpy 'strappy' (as they like to call them) dresses/tops in the middle of winter. However, most motorcyclists do dress appropriately all year round with full leathers and helmets that are required by law anyway.

I can remember the days before helmets were a legal requirement (early 1970's) and one lovely summer's day zooming up a motorway at over 100 mph on the back of what was then a brand new 1973 Norton Commando 850 sporting a mini skirt, t-shirt and no crash helmet! In those days I had waist length hair and it was a complete mess by the time I got home! No wonder my parents both went grey early!

At the time, there were huge demonstrations in London against the legal imposition of having to wear crash helmets but nowadays no one seems to mind.

I can just see the picture of you in the pillion in the 60's - especially what you looked like from behind!

Out here we have an event every year called the Toy Run - on the last Sunday of November, Round Table arranges a gathering for bikers in various centres around the country to collect thousands of toys for underprivileged kids for Christmas. Last year we were on our way in a bug bunch when a Honda came past with a pillion on the back with the nicest backside I've seen in a long time! Suddenly that particular bike had a sting of other motorcycles all following around wherever it went! The biker was a well known local 'Gladiator' and his pillion was an aerobics instructor that I've seen once or twice on the box doing informercials for gym equipment. She was wearing one of those tight spandex shorts that require no underwear and a shorn haircut (if you know what I mean) and was quite content at the glances and double takes!
(Out here in SA they call them 'whisper shorts' - you can see the lips move, but you can't hear a word!)

*ducks another flying wok*

I am amazed at how little some bikers out here wear when riding. It is not uncommon to see a superbike with it's rider wearing shorts, t-shirt and thong sandals. If he has a cling-on pillion, she's wearing cut-off denim shorts with her cheeks sticking out, a boob-tube top (or halter neck with her boobs squeezing out the armpits) and platform boots, sporting one of those silly backpack handbags the size of a sporren!

I've just had a marvellous trip to Belfast and Dullstroom in Mpumalanga province. In cool to cold weather, I got to ride the Mandarin Orange R1150GS on open country roads with very little traffic. On a few occasions, I was surprised to look down at the speedometer and find it was topping the ton mark without any strain or discomfort. This machine will get you into trouble with the law if you're not paying attention!
The B+B I stayed in was fifty years old or more, with lovely old timber floors and thick stone walls. Despite the cold, a coal fire warmed the whole house and made for a good nights sleep under the down duvets. Good soup, good company and good rum'ncoke made for a really great two days. But it's great to be back home again - I got new briefs and socks from my kids for Fathers Day. Now I can throw out the holed ones I have worn since last year's Fathers Day. This way I don't have to go shopping for socks and my kids get to buy stuff for their Dad ...

*Drops the wok on WR's toes with a reverberating thud*

That's not for the spandex reference, it's for posting that I was pillion back in the 60's! It was the early 70's dahhlink - all of 5 years difference, but at my age 5 years can be the difference between being officially old or not!

I'm glad that you had a lovely time and wish that John was well enough to do something like that. It would cheer him up no end I'm sure. His friend Andy offered him a go on his Honda Transalp but John declined because he's so full of medication and wouldn't have been insured.

The m/c club that we belonged to in NZ used to do a toy run every Crimbo too and I think that there are quite a few that do the same here in the UK.

The Queen's Jubilee Parade down the Mall in London the other week had 49 bikers, headed by the leader of the local Hell's Angels chapter. T'was brilliant, the best bit of the parade and must have sounded terrific! Up until then, the royal on-lookers looked as though they were sedately enjoying themselves, but when the bikes roared up the mall, past all the other processions, they all broke into huge grins and waved back.

That's something else John and I have heated 'discussions' about...He's a pro-monarchy type and I'm an anti-monarchy type. I think that because John's family is descended knights has a coat of arms, he has ideas above his station!

*Looks around to see whether John has read what she's just posted*

John just got a Father's Day card that Mair accidentally wrote "Happy birthday Dad" in! They haven't made the underpants that would fit my better half yet!

*Again looks around to see whether John has read what she's just posted*