h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, it's changed now. Perhaps you just didn't notice it. It's something recently different about you that plays right into my twisted weevil dementia.

I'm a bit worried about that - I really can't see what you are referring to (well, your weevil dementia is obvious, but the changes aren't (ha ha) )

Found it - very funny. I'd noticed the picture had changed but only just noticed the change in text - unless this isn't the change - in which case you'll just think I'm completely barking (not common amongst us penguins).

Yup, you found it. Come to think of it, what exactly _do_ penguins do? Chirp? Squawk? Croak?

Reminds me of a quote - Oscar Wilde but no idea in what - about a widow whose hair 'turned quite gold with grief' (or something)

I think they type actually - and very erudite they are too. (Hadn't you noticed, or do you think my secretary does this for me. He is too busy tending the plants and the pets.)

I was going to say something about moulting (sp?), but decided against it (lucky for me).

I should have known that penguins type. Blast, the answer was staring me in the face all along. But aside from typing, do penguins actually make any sounds? If they do, what's the word that descibes it? Uncontrollable screaming? Tittering? Vomiting? Singing? Why don't I know this?

Are you known, then, for your knowledge of penguins.

Apparently (having done hasty research - I got lucky with www.google.com ) - different penguins make different noises... including braying (like donkeys), whistling, trilling, screaming and trumpeting (sounds hilarious...)

No wonder they're not terribly popular as pets. I could probably take about a week or perhaps less of braying, trumpeting, and screeaming before I'd flush the little blighter right back to the Antarctic.

OK, I know that sounds just horrible. I'd never actually do something like that, so don't start hurling obscenities at me, please.

Me - hurl obscenities (actually they are the only thing girls can throw properly).

Anyway, I'd guess if you were dedicted enough to prepare your life for keeping penguins you'd have to be pretty dedicated. But I think, from your recent moose-keeping anecdotes, I don't think any pets will be safe with you. Keeping a moose in an apartment without a licence - shocking.

I shall report you to the RSPCMP.

I think Moosifer liked living in my apartment. He had a good life there and constantly showed his appreciation by utterly destroying something precious of mine. What a darling moose he was. Perhaps I should command my weevil horde to seek him out.

The "Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Mounted Police"?

"Reasons Some People Can't Master Pets"

"Rational Society for the Prevention of Criminally Mad Postings"

Ha. I have only scratched the surface of what might be considered criminally mad postings. You just wait until _I'm_ the one that's online at 4:00 in the bloody A.M.
Why, just reading such posts would drive you either blind or insane. Possibly both.

Yes, I think it would be funny to see what you would come up with at preposterous times at night - I survive through being alcohol-fuelled, but you and your restrained drinking - I think you'd get caffeine-drunk...

It would be most funny.

I'm trying to give up the late night/early morning ramblings as they are seriously unhealthy - although I suppose the odd Friday night isn't going to kill me?

Blimey, look at the time already...

Yes, well, 4:00am here is but noon for you. It would happy luncheon woman versus jittering, blithering idiot.

Cool... sounds like fun.

It would likely be more fun for me, as I'd be giddy as a mental patient.

To make things fair I could stay up all the night before - and have a bottle of Schnapps for breakfast. Then I think that would make for some 'interesting' conversations. Or just a series of random and badly spelt stuff.

Can you have a series of random stuff - I guess it wouldn't be a series would it?